iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 23h

When I tell my husband I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it. No need to remind me every six months.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Not to brag, but I know how to spell “United States.”

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

All the conversation about sexual assault has been triggering for me. I’m thinking about all the women who might be feeling it, too. These conversations matter, but they can bring back so much pain. Sending you love and support.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I think of the women who question whether what happened “counts.” A date or partner wore them down, guilted them, or made them afraid to say no. Giving in under pressure isn’t freely given consent. How many women have blamed themselves or never told anyone because it happened with someone they knew?

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

“Thomas, Albert and I will take tea in the library.” “Very good, sir.” “Also, please see if Mrs. Wickham still has any of those delightful salmon biscuits.” “Of course, sir.”

Two black & white kittens with white curled mustaches sit on a hardwood floor.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

“I have no idea” sounds unprofessional. “We’re exploring our options” sounds like you have a team and a budget. On the BiteDraft blog: “The Art of Saying Absolutely Nothing in a Very Professional Way.” Read it here: bitedraft.com/blog/blog-fu... We can circle back about your thoughts.

bitedraft.com

Corporate Jargon: The Art of Saying Absolutely Nothing

From “let’s circle back” to “we’re exploring our options,” professional language has perfected the art of using more words to say considerably less.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Getting older is mostly discovering new and completely ridiculous ways to injure yourself.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

“I'm not hungry" is not legally binding.🍟

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

My anxiety has never once fixed a problem, but I admire its commitment to the project.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

I heard someone refer to hooking up with an older person as “antiquing,” so apparently I’ve appreciated in value.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

I tried to kick a stray dryer sheet off my slipper mid-stride, caught the doorway molding, and basically curtsied directly into a laundry basket.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

I love how as an adult, the consequence of doing too much is pain and exhaustion, but the consequence of doing nothing is also pain and exhaustion.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

The audacity of my husband asking if I ate the last cookie while sitting there with chocolate on his lip. First of all, wipe your face. Second, that’s my move.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

IMPORTANT: VoteSafe.org is not a government website. It’s run by Elon Musk’s America PAC and collects a disturbing amount of your personal information. If you want to check your voter registration, use the actual government website: Vote.gov. Please pass this on.

vote.gov

Find the information you need to make registration and voting easy. Official voter registration website of the United States government.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Everyone needs to watch James Talarico’s interview with Jimmy Kimmel on YouTube tonight and SHARE IT EVERYWHERE. The FCC threatened ABC, and the interview was pulled from television. Call it what it is. Authoritarian censorship.

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

I like that, and I can not lie.

A person carrying a large pink foil balloon forming the word “BUTT.”

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 01/07/2025

“I know you think you’re being funny, but honestly Dave, it’s just hurtful.”

A Borzoi dog, looking forlorn, sits next to a dresser as their owner mimics them using a sock puppet adorned with googly eyes.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

One minute, you’re young and carefree. The next, you’re saying things like, “Let’s just get there early and park close.”

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

Marriage is asking your spouse to hide the sweets from you until the weekend and then being genuinely offended when he commits to the assignment.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

I’ve reached the age where “doing nothing” is a valid and exciting weekend plan.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

If I'm the only person in a public restroom and you choose the stall directly next to me, I'm going to need to know more about your decision-making process.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Nothing has worked harder in the past few weeks than my air conditioner. She’s one heat wave away from filing for workers’ comp.

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

"It's dangerous to go alone! Take this."

A hamster sits in a tiny blue knit basket being held by a person dressed in brown.

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Marl @marlebean.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

Fast and Furious: My Period Cycle

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

A friend asked me to recommend a dinner spot that could accommodate their “elderly” parents. They’re 50. 50! I am currently picking out my casket.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Sending love and strength to the people of Nepal. 🇳🇵❤️

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

RIP. Dolly Parton. ❤️ What an extraordinary soul. One of the kindest, most generous and most talented people to ever grace this world. She gave so much to others, raised millions for people in need and brought joy to generations. The world was simply better because she was in it.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

So glad I introduced him to skincare. Really worked out for me. 🙄😂

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

“I’m against vaccines. They’re poison.” “How about polio?” “We basically stopped seeing wild polio in the U.S. decades ago.” “BECAUSE OF VACCINES!” JFC. Stupid people make my brain hurt.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

If I see someone who looks like they could use a hand and your response is, “Someone else will help them,” we probably shouldn’t be friends.

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Marl @marlebean.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

If you really love me New York Times, you'll make the Wordle "FARTS" one day...

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bacon popsicle 🧴 @gupton68.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

I wouldn't wish spontaneous combustion on my worst enemy but that doesn't mean it wouldn't be a cool thing to see.

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

genie: what was that commercial jingle? me: which one? genie: you know, the one about hot dogs me: i wish i were an oscar mayer wiener? genie: hehehe me: you bastard

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Fickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

If it’s any consolation, you’re fucking up your life in a parallel universe just as much as you are in this one.

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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

*one second after posting a post* oh wow nobody liked it why am i even on this stupid app

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

If a baby hands you a toy telephone to answer, that's a sign of great respect in their culture.

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Danny @mardigroan.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

A cancelled work meeting shines light into darkness.

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Marl @marlebean.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

My phone autocorrected "gym" to "fun" so I threw it in the trash bc it's obviously broken.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

Super excited to transition from my summer black clothes to my fall black clothes. It's mostly the same clothes, but with sleeves.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

Don’t you just hate it when one of your parents comes flying out of your mouth?

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

UPS "Attempted Delivery": The driver blew past your house at 80 mph, made no attempt to stop, and marked you as "not home." Please let us know when you'd like us to attempt not delivering your package again.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

I’d just like to buy a $3 painting at a thrift store and find out it’s worth $14 million. I don’t think I’m asking for anything unreasonable.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

The chance of tripping over absolutely nothing increases dramatically when other people are watching.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

My husband said he just timed a fart with the fajita delivery so no one would hear it over the sizzle. He called it the "fajita sizzle silencer." Sorry ladies, he's taken.

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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

An inspirational guy once told me "you'll never feel happiness until you stop dreaming about it and just do it, live your dreams!" so I hit him in the head with a shovel and buried him out in the desert and by god he was right

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Kalvin the Reindeer @kalvinmacleod.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

My cat is celebrating international cat day by trying to trip me down the stairs.

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

GIRLFRIEND: I'm breaking up with you ME: Is it because I have a pet spider called Andrew Lloyd Webber HER: Yes. Yes it is

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