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Killjöy 🇨🇦

@phalguy.bsky.social
2K followers 629 following 416 posts

An old idiot who plays disc golf--badly. He/Him

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Reposted by Killjöy 🇨🇦
Brick's House 🍁 @brickmahoney.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
I don't have anything funny tonight. I'm just overwhelmed and heartbroken with this shitty, shitty world.
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Killjöy 🇨🇦 @phalguy.bsky.social · 19/11/2025
As a witness of your complete lack of driving skills, I'm really starting to doubt you actually have a baby jedi on board.
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sophia ♥️🎃 @sophamir.bsky.social · 27/10/2025
[me flirting with an older man] hows ur hose water
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 06/10/2025
preemptively banning accounts just in case they get any crazy notions to actually post
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🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️ @jollyrobber.bsky.social · 04/10/2025
What say you rub my magic lamp until the genie comes out? Me flirting with her at this Arabian Nights themed party
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 06/10/2025
I don’t understand the “Bari Weiss is not a journalist and therefore shouldn’t head up CBS News” argument. The whole point is that she’s not a journalist, she’s intellectual cover for the illiberal right. Nothing more or less.
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Jason the Spooky ®️ 💛🤍💜🖤 @jasontheaverage.bsky.social · 30/09/2025
Sorry for the lack of content. I had a relaxing weekend, and without the pain of my trauma, the jokes don’t show up.
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 29/09/2025
𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵 𝘐𝘵 𝘉𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬 is my favorite song about goth decorating tips.
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ash @ashhull.bsky.social · 29/09/2025
Finishing off the conversation with a hand gesture just to make a point.
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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 27/09/2025
A posting style best described as "relentless"
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Killjöy 🇨🇦 @phalguy.bsky.social · 23/09/2025
Currently listening to Blondie. So say I'm not prepared for the Rapture.
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ghost crab dave @crabbydaddy.bsky.social · 21/09/2025
i met a girl named joyce and immediately thought, that's how a snake would say joy
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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 21/09/2025
ME: sorry, I’m ticklish NAIL TECH WITH A BLOODY RAG TO HER NOSE:
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Breakfast 🍩☕️🍑 @donutscoffeeme.bsky.social · 22/09/2025
Wanting attention but not wanting to bother anyone... that's normal right? No? Just me?
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Juiceticles @juiceticles.bsky.social · 21/09/2025
The cat is talking a lot this morning. I think she's worried that I didn't get that extended warranty
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Tony @tonycrisler17.bsky.social · 21/09/2025
This rapture is as disappointing as my sex life.
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yeah ok @poutinesmoothie.bsky.social · 03/08/2025
Being an airline pilot is like being both a cool bus driver and a lame astronaut.
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DB 🇨🇦 @rebelliousdb.bsky.social · 17/09/2025
"I'm good" You're Good? Really? We're all struggling, doing the best we can against the weight of crushing challenges. We're definitely not good. No one wants to hear that, but we know that it's implied.
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Boo B 👻🐝 @vtbee80.bsky.social · 22/09/2025
a younger version of me saw me packing grapes instead of chocolate for a work snack and punched me in the tit
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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 22/09/2025
If birth control was made of chocolate, there'd be no unplanned pregnancies.
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Tim 🇨🇦 @qwertying.bsky.social · 22/09/2025
Autumn the only day the planet isn't leaning. It's standing up straight to show off its new fall foliage, right before it slouches back into six months of seasonal affective disorder.
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Kellalena @kellalena.bsky.social · 21/09/2025
I didn't lose my mind, it's free derange.
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Opinion Editor @ Bluesky @dly.bsky.social · 22/09/2025
let’s start calling sweatpants, pajama pants, and any other non-constricting soft pants “boneless pants”
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Fun @funkelly.bsky.social · 22/09/2025
just heard someone call stephen miller peewee german
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futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 22/09/2025
throw a stick at the wall and see if it spaghettis
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scary again, naturally 🎃 @renandpen.bsky.social · 22/09/2025
the answer to autism is go fuck yourselves, fascists
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Opinion Editor @ Bluesky @dly.bsky.social · 22/09/2025
yeah I’m sex positive, positive I haven’t had sex in a while
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Queen RanDumb @invisihole.bsky.social · 22/09/2025
Yelling "Hey wait for me!" In public. To no one. Just to feel included.
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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 22/09/2025
I see Paris I see France I have got the Rapture right here for you (it's in my pants)
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WineMummy @winemummy.bsky.social · 22/09/2025
Don’t talk to me, talk to my butthole.
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WineMummy @winemummy.bsky.social · 20/01/2025
I’m disappointed in the lack of butthole skeets this weekend.
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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 29/08/2025
I judge people by the quality of their butthole skeets.
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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 21/09/2025
I'm always my authentic self, and apparently that's not great for marriage.
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Brie @brielikethechhes.bsky.social · 21/09/2025
Them: Omg I haven’t seen you in what, two years Me: Yeah I’ve been washing the price tags off the bowls I got at Home Sense
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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 20/09/2025
When I find a good parking spot, I say, "Oooo a Costanza," and my kids are like, is dad having a stroke?
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Killjöy 🇨🇦 @phalguy.bsky.social · 21/09/2025
Hot singles in your area are looking for air conditioning.
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Bigthinkingcap @bigthinkingcap.bsky.social · 21/09/2025
If you’re a nazi you have to tell me It’s the law now
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BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 21/09/2025
I know it’s the season of the witch because I’m hunting for the perfect broom handle to ride.
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S🌟tella @havishaf.bsky.social · 21/09/2025
This email could have been a shared look in a meeting.
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Dumb Beezie @dumbbeezie.bsky.social · 19/09/2025
According to my research you can fuck off
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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 20/09/2025
The haunted doll I got at a flea market has killed again, but it's so darn cute I just can't stay mad at it.
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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 19/09/2025
caddy is short for cat daddy
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BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 21/09/2025
These nonstop LEGO ads are really starting to break me down… brick by brick.
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