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Michael Ian Black

@michaelianblack.bsky.social
129K followers 308 following 4.8K posts

9 years in the NFL. 2 rings. #9years2rings

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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 11h
Have the Dems established an office to track corruption and crimes in the Trump administration? Seems like they should be advertising NOW to remind us of every nickel these crooks have stolen from the American people, and to warn them what's in store.
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 22h
How did the government fuck up killing somebody? It's what they do best.
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
"Yes, the moment demands urgency. But the moment has demanded urgency for a decade now.” michaelianblack.substack.com/p/this-donut...
michaelianblack.substack.com
This Donut Is Making Me ANGRY
My name is Michael and I’m addicted to outrage.
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
An unshaven Michael Ian Black hosts the podcast extension of the Have I Got News For You cinematic universe. Every Wednesday (not unshaven every Wednesday). www.youtube.com/watch?v=4k-f...
youtube.com
2026 Midterm Elections! Jack Smith Vs. Senate! Taxpayer Funded Trump Ads? | VODCAST
YouTube video by Have I Got News For You US
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
"Who are we? Once we were called the spirit of the mountain. Father sun, mother moon. Then the post office. Then the county clerk. Then gods, demons, angels, the IRS. Then leptons, quarks, a chat window with a .gov at the end. The letterhead changes. We do not change."
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
“I have to go. I have a meeting. It’s nothing.” “What kind of meeting?” “Wow. You’re really going to drag this out of me. Quentin wants to have lunch.” michaelianblack.substack.com/p/if-youre-v...
michaelianblack.substack.com
If You’re Very Lucky
Where we’re going, there is only light.
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I forgot to shave.
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Thank you.
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
He's signing a document to rename words that are just words in the language?
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Reposted by Michael Ian Black
Mrs. Betty Bowers @mrsbettybowers.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Captain Iran.
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I realized that, as much as I love New York and Rome and Savannah and so many others, I am now the subject of John Denver’s ode to rural life; I am a country boy. The inside variety. michaelianblack.substack.com/p/i-have-bee...
michaelianblack.substack.com
I Have Been Poisoned!
The rain, she falls.
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I got it in one guess.
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I think my new excuse for anything I don't want to will be to decline by saying, "I don't want to."
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
🚨 BEAR SIGHTING OUTSIDE MY HOUSE! 3 BEARS OUTSIDE! ONE CLIMBED A TREE! INCREDIBLY ADORABLE! 🚨
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I'm calling ICE
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Sex is only a pale imitation of running scalding hot water over your poison ivy rash.
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
How is not using a product you purchased fraud?
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
"There’s a reason classic literature is considered such – the words is good!” michaelianblack.substack.com/p/epilogue
michaelianblack.substack.com
Epilogue
On ending a long-running project
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I wrote about this over 10 years ago in my book, "A Child's First Book of Trump." (Not a joke, still available for purchase.) newrepublic.com/article/2158...
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I will say that I take some comfort in knowing that however much we may hate Trump, he hates himself more. 🥹
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Riding in circles going nowhere perfectly describes my day yesterday, although with one important caveat: I enjoyed it. michaelianblack.substack.com/p/hobby-lobb...
michaelianblack.substack.com
Hobby Lobbying
Yesterday, after devoting several hours to losing at online poker (legally!
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
For the Daily Beast, I watched Trump TV. www.thedailybeast.com/i-barely-sur...
thedailybeast.com
I Barely Survived Watching Trump TV. Here’s What I Learned
Nothing. I learned nothing. Except that we should all change the channel while we still can.
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Welcome to the Resistance, Jonathan Taylor Thomas!
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
WHY WIOULD JOE BIDEN DO THIS???
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
About to Reacher the fuck outta some Reacher.
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I've had life insurance for years. Haven't used it once.
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Gotta admit, as lame as she is, I didn't think Susan Collins was corrupt. Maybe she's not but the reporting on it looks pretty good? I'm very concerned, but I'm sure she learned her lesson. No further action required.
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
"There’s a real difference between chess and politics. Chess follows rules. Politics, we’re learning, does not." michaelianblack.substack.com/p/game-on
michaelianblack.substack.com
Game On
There’s a chess term called “Zugzwang,” which occurs when a player has no good legal moves.
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
WE NEED TO ARM OUR SENIOR LIVING CARE RESIDENTS STAT!!!
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
New MADJB, now with extra gremlins. youtu.be/EApIc0tU1Zk?...
youtu.be
"Ophelia" (The Band) | MADJB
YouTube video by Middle Aged Dad Jam Band
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
"A handful of companies now control the entirety of show biz, just like a handful of companies now control pretty much every sector of the economy. Some control industries in multiple sectors. Which is fine is you prefer fewer choices. I prefer more." michaelianblack.substack.com/p/standing-o...
michaelianblack.substack.com
Standing on the Firing Line
And about to stand on the unemployment one.
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Sarty @sarty.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Lovely essay. Take a gander.
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I thought this was a good episode!
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
A cord of wood is a mighty thing. michaelianblack.substack.com/p/stacking-w...
michaelianblack.substack.com
Stacking Wood
A fella could learn to love physical labor.
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
So it's arch that also might explode?
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HIGNFY US @hignfyus.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Tonight! New Episode with: Virginia Governor @abigailspanberger.com & Tech Journalist @karaswisher.bsky.social! Tonight at 9p ET/PT on @cnn.com. Available to stream next day on CNN!
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Why would he if there was nothing wrong with accepting the bribe - I mean gift - in the first place?
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
The Gentlemen is so good. If you needed an aristocratic Breaking Bad in your life, this is the show for you.
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
We’re HIGNIFYING with two exceptional guests, including our first sitting governor as well as the third return of America’s shortest pundit (tied with Robert Reich)!
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Thank you!
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
“The trail I will weed whack when I am done with this piece took my entire life to find.” michaelianblack.substack.com/p/where-the-...
michaelianblack.substack.com
Where The Wild Things Are
It’s a lazy Thursday here in the wilds of Connecticut.
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
“I’m temperamentally unsuited to live within the borders of a superpower. I’m an underdog kind of guy. I should live in an underdog country, but one with air-conditioning. Estonia, maybe. Or Uruguay.” michaelianblack.substack.com/p/sorry-ever...
michaelianblack.substack.com
Sorry, everybody
If they don’t exactly feel like the end of the world, these days certainly feel like the end of something.
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Debbie Ridpath Ohi @debbieohi.com · 16/09/2026
Thanks to @caitdarfler.com for the kind book boost of these #KidLit picture books written by @michaelianblack.bsky.social and illustrated by me! @simonkids.bsky.social ❤️❤️❤️
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
It's been so fun for us, too. You know how the cast of "Friends" were actually friends? It's like that with us, too, except Roy and Amber hang out with David Schwimmer instead of me.
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
New HIGNFYE tomorrow followed by a brand new HIGNFY on Saturday. So much HIGNFYING
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
The news that bestiality is no longer disqualifying to become an FBI agent is as hilarious generally as it is gratifying personally.
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
The Daily Beast heralds me as a "comedic genius." Who am I to argue?
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
To arrive at our techno-utopia, I’m told, we need the software to act in “alignment.” Which basically just means its goals need to match our own. The problem is I’m not sure my goals align with the tech bros. michaelianblack.substack.com/p/bringing-d...
michaelianblack.substack.com
Bringing Down the Sky
Would an AI apocalypse be so bad?
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Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
I suspect it would also go bankrupt if it did. (And maybe explode)
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