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Robo Justin

@justinmatic5000.bsky.social
2.9K followers 2.3K following 1.9K posts

Rated "pretty ok, I guess" by Robot Aficionado Magazine. Occasionally funny on purpose. Posts: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:efdtjcx67l…

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Reposted by Robo Justin
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Gorilla Glue just sounds like a name they came up with to calm down the horses.
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🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 01/10/2026
how can we be sure that anything is butter
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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Being pushed out on an ice floe alone sounds like a vacation right now
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Robo Justin @justinmatic5000.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
driving the kids to the mall this weekend so they can sit in the Grim Reapers lap and tell them what they want for Halloween before the lines get too long
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slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
whoa fat bear week, bam-ba-lam
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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Flawed enough in photo, print and person to have never been accused of being AI
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Yes, obviously it's a tuxedo t-shirt. We're at a wedding, Sharon.
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
refused to invite count chocula in and now he’s sitting on my porch pouting
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Paranormal Pandy 🎃 @thatbrenna.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
*opens a huge box of random cables that I've had for 5 years* Son, one day all this will be yours
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
getting ready to go solve a murder on the orient express with this guy
georgiecowboy on ig a hairy brown dog groomed to have a handlebar mustache
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Misery Highlight @miseryhighlight.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Sorry I haven’t been reskeeting as much lately I have recently learned how to read
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Robo Justin @justinmatic5000.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
"Natural Selection doesn't work fast enough" seems like a harsh statement but then you find out that there are grown adults who don't believe in triangles
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Brick's House 🍁 @brickmahoney.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
diarea? diahheahoria? diarrhoeara? diorh-? anyway i crapped my pants at the bus stop again
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PAM! @pamtoo.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
ANOTHER day of no one bringing me food.
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President Werewolf G. Harding @popeawesomexiii.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Her: I have all my ducks in a row Me: (trying to impress) I have all my geese in a column
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Nate's Myth @natesmith.dev · 12/09/2026
still not sure why Costco carts don't have a built in hot dog and drink holder
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Brick's House 🍁 @brickmahoney.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
talked myself out of going to costco on a sunday because it's about time i did something for ME goddammit
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Travis comma bitch @prof-hinkley.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I'll just floss tomorrow
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🕸️ @holojester.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
im sorry you had to see me this way (witty & attractive)
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‎ @handle.invalid · 02/03/2025
[Comic strip from Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson. A single panel showing a small boy (Calvin) wearing a winter hat and coat, standing in a snowy outdoor setting with a fence in the background. He has a small suitcase beside him. In a speech bubble above him, he asks: "HOW OLD DO YOU HAVE TO BE BEFORE YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON?"]

The comic shows Calvin, the young protagonist of Calvin and Hobbes, contemplating life's complexities despite his young age. Standing alone in what appears to be winter (indicated by snow and his winter clothing), Calvin's philosophical question reflects the series' trademark blend of childhood innocence and profound existential questioning. The small suitcase beside him suggests he may be contemplating running away or going on an adventure, a recurring theme in the strip.
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I hope this new iPhone has enough storage for all my accidental home screen screenshots
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Honesty is the best policy unless you need life insurance, in which case life insurance is the best policy.
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
She was a 9 because she wasn’t a rotisserie chicken.
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Robo Justin @justinmatic5000.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Bride of Frankenstein: *starts throwing hands" Dr Frankenstein: Ah man, I just organized those
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James Damron @runswindows95.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
@shitpostsintiaras.bsky.social This one is a foul ball.
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🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 12/09/2026
Have you ever wanted to vote for a shitposter? No? Well here is your chance anyway! Go to shitsky38.com and cast your votes for "best" shitposters on Bluesky. Vote for anyone, including yourself! There are no prizes and bragging rights are probably of minimal value at best. Let's fucking do this!
shitsky38.com
Shitsky38
The 38 "best" shitposters on Bluesky, voted by you. Votes are public records in your own account.
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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Hey wait a minute: maybe the quicksand we grew up worrying about turned out to be our phones
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Brick's House 🍁 @brickmahoney.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
when using; semicolons; remember you; can't use too; many
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
[animal shelter] “I see Mittens is back again?” “Yeah, third time now.” “Who dropped him off?” “Dunno, some dude with one arm.”
A tiger is curled up in a grass-filled cardboard box set down in a hallway.
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Robo Justin @justinmatic5000.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Marry Me Chicken, Divorce Me Tofurkey
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President Werewolf G. Harding @popeawesomexiii.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Me: (looking up from my phone) I'm sorry I got distracted! What were we talking about? Grim Reaper: (sighing deeply)
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
ME: So what do you do for work? DATE: My family sell our own honey ME: And hows beesness lol HER: I need to see other people
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Robo Justin @justinmatic5000.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Searching between the couch cushions for any extra dopamine that might have fallen out of a pocket
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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
So the waiter said, "The plate is hot,” and I said, "I'll be the judge of that, haha." Anyhoo, I met a lot of nice people at the burn center.
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Anxiety doesn’t care whether you spell xanax forward or backward.
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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
porchy morningtimes chonky dew drops gallumphing hey hey shouty bird
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Brick's House 🍁 @brickmahoney.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
things that make me rage: - hiccups there probably more but i can't think of what they might be right now
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🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 02/09/2026
flotillas aren’t nearly as edible as they sound
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
I still got it
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Opinion Editor @ Bluesky @dly.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
would this work on anyone, asking for a friend
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Hey kids, come check out all these *suddenly forgets the word 'magpies'*...orca chickens
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
grammar was more important in the days of you’re
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🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒 @dadmoonrising.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
person: how are you doing? me: good ᵉⁿᵒᵘᵍʰ
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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 18/12/2023
Best.Card.Ever.
A card that says, in print: What if we took a week off and just screamed

In handwriting it says:
Aaah,

Aaaaaah. Aaaaaah aaaaahh aaaaahh aaah. Aaaaaaaaaaahhh. 

Aaah,
Aaaaah
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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 22/03/2024
Exorcist didn’t show so now we’re just winging it.
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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
hey murderers, come to this national park sign in the next four minutes if you want a shot at the champ
a partial selfie of me in front of the welcome sign to North Cascades National Park. the text on the sign is hilariously blurry
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Me: Can you believe they’re trying to sell us AI steak sauce? Her: Um, that’s A1. Me: What’s a one?
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Robo Justin @justinmatic5000.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Hello Kitty Minus One
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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
HER: would you like to feel it kick? ME: sure HER: *places my hand on her sensei*
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It's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
I'm super excited to announce that my half-hour pilot, My Boyfriend the Drag Queen (Based On a True Story) is ONE of FIVE Finalists in the 2026 TrackingB TV Script Contest!
This is a screenshot of the 2026 TV. Script contest results announced today on August 26 2026bytrackingb.com:

Listed are all of finalists CM D-Z by Scott Hanscom, harvest by Stephanie Marlett, germophobe in a sex club by Jessica Ennis and Caitlin Cronenberg, My boyfriend the drag queen based on a true story by Abby Cohen and uptown by Eric McKeever.

Mine is the one written by me, Abby Cohen. I put a purple glow around it

Please clap
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