Reposted by Dominic CarusoYgrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 3han alternate universe where dinner is already figured forever 716837
Reposted by Dominic CarusoMemento (spooky) Morty 🌙 @mementomorty.bsky.social · 14hyou don't see many guys named dracula anymore 2114519
Reposted by Dominic CarusoTusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 13hBehind reality isn't a more real reality, it's an alley, a realley if it's retrash day, again (raccoons washing paws for slow clap) 16139
Reposted by Dominic CarusoMarjorie James Keenan @unenthusiast.com · 11hget in loser we're going right round baby right round 1633195
Reposted by Dominic Carusorebar mcentire? @rebarmcentire.bsky.social · 15hI miss my friend Deleted Account 428142
Reposted by Dominic CarusoMichael Jay McClure @mjmimages.bsky.social · 12/10/2026Saw two people leaning against a spindly bus stop sign pole, totally making out, & I, somehow, KNOW that they’ve never met before & were thinking of fun ways to kill time before their bus arrives. 5514
Reposted by Dominic CarusoSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 17/09/2026This time of year I bring a pumpkin wherever I go so no one sits next to me 1526291
Reposted by Dominic Carusomindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 21hEveryone's doing the "throw everything you own into the sea" challenge! All the coolest people are throwing everything they own into the sea 38816
Reposted by Dominic Carusoterror @weedlejuice.bsky.social · 12/10/2026Chuckling and shaking my head as my captor brings the broth I’m soaking in to a slow boil.. “I recall them all voting me most likely to be baked in a pie when I grew up” 🙂↔️ idiots 1426
Reposted by Dominic CarusoMary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 12/10/2026And I did what they couldn’t. Sight unseen, I face palmed my own forehead and took out the living room mosquito that’s been tormenting us all evening. 25518
Dominic Caruso @dominiccaruso1.bsky.social · 12/10/2026When I sneeze confetti should shoot out of my ears (instead of silly string) 05118
Reposted by Dominic Carusoheadless horseDan @etbeeegood.bsky.social · 12/10/2026got food on my pants, that’s why I wore them. To protect my skin from falling food 313037
Reposted by Dominic Carusomindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 11/10/2026Remember to dress normally and sneeze at a regular volume and try not to grab people's faces when you're talking to them 38512
Reposted by Dominic Carusoceej @ceej.online · 11/10/2026I died in the shipwreck of a whaling vessel in 1798, but a few days later, clinging to an old rum barrel. Now I can only haunt this one specific patch of desolate ocean. I thought I saw a cruise liner once, in the distance. Had a scare ready to go and everything. Not much going on outside of that 361011115
Reposted by Dominic Carusoterror @weedlejuice.bsky.social · 11/10/2026There is something alluring about the way your wife softly calls to me from just beyond the treacherous marshes 111519
Reposted by Dominic Carusospooky glue @delightedbutdying.bsky.social · 06/10/2026my friends are trying to stop me from interacting with glyphs 214428
Dominic Caruso @dominiccaruso1.bsky.social · 11/10/2026I go everywhere with an adult seagull on my head. Sure it is disgusting but it more than makes up for itself with ear splitting bird shrieks 12812
Reposted by Dominic CarusoTusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 10/10/2026Apocalypse story and the world is ok but there's just a last human being left on the internet. I've been hoarding a fine google of "to squander" in case it's me 26240
Reposted by Dominic Carusocrumbum @fuwolfman.bsky.social · 10/10/2026I rode through the desert on a horse named Sweet Earl/ it added nothing particularly to the journey 17524
Dominic Caruso @dominiccaruso1.bsky.social · 10/10/2026Methodically removing my spongebob slap bracelet & using it to slap your face before challenging you to a duel. 03412
Reposted by Dominic CarusoCourtney Milan @courtneymilan.com · 10/10/2026If I built an AI lab and it went rogue and deleted all student loan information, I'm betting they'd suddenly figure out how to prosecute me. 46107512996
Reposted by Dominic Carusodonni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 10/10/2026Sometimes I just accidentally space out for my entire life 114838
Reposted by Dominic Carusoweeder @weeder.bsky.social · 10/10/2026It's called the locomotive. And we're gonna drive it right through your god damn bedroom. 10100254
Reposted by Dominic Carusodonni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 10/10/2026I really thought at this point in my life I would have knocked over some food carts in wild car chases 611521
Reposted by Dominic CarusoYgrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 09/10/2026“Hello!” said the Tupperware container. “We are married now!” replied the spaghetti sauce 714818
Reposted by Dominic CarusoPAM! @pamtoo.bsky.social · 09/10/2026The comforting sounds of someone muttering under their breath as they make your lunch. 26023
Reposted by Dominic Carusodracula 🔒 @villein.bsky.social · 09/10/2026the purpose of moving is to transport a leaf from one state to another 1333
Reposted by Dominic CarusoMr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Tearing a phone book in half, but one page at a time. 812646
Reposted by Dominic CarusoMichael Jay McClure @mjmimages.bsky.social · 08/10/2026Peregrine spends the day excited for & dreading his piano lesson. At school recess, his friend Auggie asks if he wants to play marbles & because Peregrine is so lost in thought & nervous, he yips, “Crikey!” & has to sit in the corner all afternoon (for swearing). He lives in the town of Horseshoe. 3787
Reposted by Dominic CarusoMary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 09/10/2026My coworker announced her pregnancy with some cookies from a local bakery. Today she announced the baby’s gender with some cookies from a local bakery. I am wondering what else we can find out about this baby because this is going well.  341072115
Reposted by Dominic CarusoBlobStarrrr @blobstar.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Sometimes you gotta let a giant clam clamp down and hold you whilst you ponder the briney depths of the sea 05022
Dominic Caruso @dominiccaruso1.bsky.social · 09/10/2026If I got attacked by a bear I would simply use forced perspective to make myself look like a giant & thereby dissuade the bear from battling what would appear to be a much bigger animal. 43514
Reposted by Dominic CarusoSkellyton 🦇 @infinitefinite.blog · 09/10/2026"why am I so thirsty," she thought, dehydratedly 49029
Reposted by Dominic Carusowargen @funeralpig.bsky.social · 09/10/2026(grabbing different mushrooms off the forest floor and eating them) no you don’t have to identify them that’s a myth 117729
Reposted by Dominic CarusoJohnny Normality (Spooky Mode) @probgobl.in · 08/10/2026I forgot to put the bins out last night so I had to run down the drive with them this morning and the garbageman LET ME HAND FEED THE TRUCK. Huge win. 913516
Reposted by Dominic CarusoJ HELL P @jlp.systems · 08/10/2026Waking up and eating 10 sheets of printer paper and going back to sleep 28914
Reposted by Dominic CarusoBayBayFriend @baybayfriend.bsky.social · 08/10/2026The guy that named the computer mouse had a whole slate of other cute names for computer parts, but he got fired for saying a keyboard should be called a fingers’ playground 216116
Reposted by Dominic Carusomindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 08/10/2026Do what you love (never working a day in your life) and you'll never work a day in your life 229262
Dominic Caruso @dominiccaruso1.bsky.social · 08/10/2026At the grocery store & noticing everything now—suddenly—has 116 grams of protein & less than 25% of it is from eel protein isolate 24213
Reposted by Dominic CarusoMary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 08/10/2026I was trying to type OMG, but I typed ONG which I think could also be useful when a situation is ongoing. 48730
Reposted by Dominic Carusodrewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 08/10/2026"this browser version is no longer supported" is something you should tell your developer, not me, the innocent web surfer 129635
Reposted by Dominic Carusomindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 07/10/2026Is your kitchen overrun with rats? Snails in your garden? Mice in your attic? Call us now! We want to see them 013326
Reposted by Dominic Carusocorpse eating dog @thuleanperspective.bsky.social · 06/10/2026I feel a great sense of kinship with everybody waiting parallel with me at this stop sign but everybody waiting perpendicular to me is my mortal enemy 110718
Reposted by Dominic Carusoweeder @weeder.bsky.social · 08/10/2026Sometimes when I don't have anything to say I'll make a post like this 1719425
Reposted by Dominic Carusoterror @weedlejuice.bsky.social · 08/10/2026Guys we have to rapidly decompose and start again 113023
Reposted by Dominic CarusoSunshine Jarboly @sunshinejarboly.bsky.social · 07/10/2026my grandma lives next door to another grandma who lives next door to a THIRD grandma who claims to have a secret tuna casserole recipe that was given to her by one of the three stooges. 15515
Reposted by Dominic Carusochris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 07/10/2026I fell asleep at the wake so they went ahead and cremated me too. 712046
