Reposted by James BlackstoneGreg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 11/04/2025(wiping hot sauce on my underwear in the dark) thanks for coming to my party, wings 64113
Reposted by James BlackstoneFᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 3h[walking home early after another bad date] looks like my online sensual juggling classes were a waste of time 15724
Reposted by James Blackstonekattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 9hi hope no one ever checks my signature for veracity cuz there’s the one i use on checks so nobody can replicate it then there’s the one i use on legal docs which looks like a 7 yr old who just learned cursive then there’s the one i use on computers which is basically a squiggly line then there’s 24610
Reposted by James Blackstoneandy vs. @im-all-id.me · 8hWhere do you guys keep your car utensils 2814140
Reposted by James Blackstonetrick-is-a-treat-kat @trickykat.bsky.social · 9ha pumpkin a day keeps the doctober away 25618
Reposted by James BlackstoneUncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 7h“Okay, now before you say anything, just hear us out. It’s actually kind of a funny story.” 730737
Reposted by James BlackstoneJane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 9hJust randomly agreeing to do stuff because I don't think I'll live long enough to follow it through. 27234
Reposted by James BlackstoneJack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 01/10/2026After 30 years together my wife turned to me and said it’s kind of funny Gary Oldman matches his name now. 511539
James Blackstone @blackstonejn.bsky.social · 7h“Okay, but why did they call it a poop deck if I wasn’t supposed to poop there?,” he says to the harbor police. 021
Reposted by James BlackstoneBoochy's Boospectboo @frenchys-goldau.bsky.social · 21h"you scared the shit out of me" ❌ "Ahhh! Spookie dookie" ✅ 1177
Reposted by James BlackstoneBrendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 22hPeople make fun of old science fiction movies but before we landed there it was pretty logical to assume the moon had women in miniskirts 2976068
Reposted by James BlackstoneAddled Pixie @addledpixie.bsky.social · 01/10/2026[at a restaurant] Me: Ah, yes. I’d like some Stilton on oatcake biscuits, with some fig jam on the side, and a nice glass of Port. Them: Ma’am, this is a McDonald’s. Me: Oh, silly me! Yes, go ahead and super size it. 1978259
Reposted by James BlackstoneSkellyton 🦇 @infinitefinite.blog · 01/10/2026I'm sorry I told you that your baby looks like it was fathered by a sleep paralysis demon 514949
James Blackstone @blackstonejn.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Death Penalty Soapbox Time The State shouldn’t be able to put anyone to death, they have a hard enough time with filling potholes and basic governance. And 12 idiots, that don’t really want to be there, are incapable of life or death decisions when they can’t agree on a lunch order. 040
Reposted by James BlackstoneLeeroystarr @leeroystarr.bsky.social · 01/10/2026People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do 3196
Reposted by James Blackstonekattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 01/10/2026me: the phrase “dog cocks ears” kinda sounds like the ingredients for a witch’s brew, amirite my gynecologist: what 98724
Reposted by James Blackstonemean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Sorry for crashing out when someone used my special mug 410032
Reposted by James BlackstoneJason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 01/10/2026September 30 October 1 231669
Reposted by James BlackstoneJenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Never underestimate the healing power of Cinnamon Toast Crunch 611938
Reposted by James BlackstoneGreg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 01/10/2026as i walk through the hidden valley of the shadow of ranch 1425884
James Blackstone @blackstonejn.bsky.social · 01/10/2026I see and applaud you, lady wearing a “Makin’ Bacon” t-shirt with a picture two cartoon pigs fucking. 041
Reposted by James BlackstoneJack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Serving Jerseys Mike at this orgy. 125225
James Blackstone @blackstonejn.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Used the Super Intelligence machine to help me find my dream job during the robot apocalypse. Guess who has two thumbs and is a future bandit/highwayman. This guy. It’s me. Finally, an excuse to wear my chaps. Thanks, SI! 021
Reposted by James BlackstoneLizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Making a band that you like your entire personality is so lame. Just ask my kid, Champagne Supernova. 919859
Reposted by James BlackstoneTwoSense @twosense.bsky.social · 29/09/2026aren’t we all just avoiding life while waiting for life 99830
Reposted by James BlackstoneKalvin the Reindeer @kalvinmacleod.bsky.social · 29/09/2026[Survivor] JEFF: eat this cow's tongue ME: *eats it* JEFF: and these live slugs ME: *eats them* JEFF: and this coleslaw ME: *snuffs out my own torch* 1337
James Blackstone @blackstonejn.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Classic Blunders: starting a land war in Asia during the Fall, entering a life or death contest with a Sicilian, and assuming you don’t need the assembly instructions to that IKEA table that wobbles now. 031
Reposted by James BlackstoneMobius Stripper @mobiusstripper.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Can't believe Trump is trying to bribe voters by saying that if Republicans win the midterms, he'll release the treasure map hidden on the back of the Declaration of Independence. 0153
Reposted by James BlackstoneJenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 29/09/2026They say make yourself at home then get mad when you eat all their cheese 1012537
James Blackstone @blackstonejn.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Next on HBO, Real Talk with Pooping Horse. Find out what three time derby champion “Lost In Toledo” thinks about current events and get his in depth analysis of geopolitical trends while he poops. 010
Reposted by James BlackstoneNosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Please stop calling me on my phone that's not what it's for 3443051212
Reposted by James BlackstoneFᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Yes, obviously it's a tuxedo t-shirt. We're at a wedding, Sharon. 319562
Reposted by James BlackstoneJason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Imagine dying and getting to the river styx then seeing a QR code 1733085
Reposted by James BlackstoneJack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Movie credits used to be here are the like 17 people who made this including the actors. 76327
Reposted by James BlackstoneNosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Me: *skips a rock perfectly across a pond* Fred Flintstone: OH NO MY CELL PHONE 18595149
Reposted by James BlackstoneJack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Saw a lady aggressively flossing while driving. Not at a red light. Not picking at a popcorn kernel. Not discretely. The noon hour, 45 mph while looking in the mirror, in front of God and everyone. 🇺🇸 86228
Reposted by James BlackstoneJason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I got the Covid vaccine and sure enough five years later sent a text to the wrong person 551130127
Reposted by James BlackstoneFickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Join me in the studio later where I’ll be sharing exclusive footage of me burning down Ticketmaster HQ. 28240
Reposted by James Blackstone𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 27/09/2026My medication label: “Do not operate heavy machinery” Me, as I prep to perform brain surgery: “Well, that’s just common sense” 37327
James Blackstone @blackstonejn.bsky.social · 27/09/2026“Choosin’ Texas” has replaced “All I Want For Christmas Is You” as the song most likely playing while you’re upset about something else. 030
Reposted by James BlackstoneVamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻♀️ @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I can’t be the only person who feels like I’m being held hostage when I answer a phone call 817866
Reposted by James BlackstoneJane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Unless you're talking about the crushing weight of existence, then no, I don't have a crush. 516973
Reposted by James Blackstone[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I’m starting to think you guys just enjoy saying nor’easter like you’re a bunch of grizzled sea captains talking to lonely barmaids 1718549
Reposted by James BlackstoneSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 26/09/2026In the evenings she would look to the horizon for a distant sail, waiting in vain for a lover who would never return, one ivory hand draped over the balustraded railing, the other holding her phone aloft, trying to get more bars 1518363
Reposted by James BlackstoneFᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Apparently it's not appropriate to laugh and shout THAT KID GOT BEACH SLAPPED when you see a child get knocked over by a wave 518863
Reposted by James BlackstoneUncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 25/09/2026“You really don’t have to walk with me, Doug.” “Nah, it’s fine. We’re early and I never get to do this.” 251025143
Reposted by James Blackstonealexis simpson @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 25/09/2026just passed a guy who looked like a retired ninja turtle 118312
Reposted by James BlackstoneJane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 25/09/2026"Measure twice, cut once," I grunt, as I realise your legs won't fit in the freezer. 17245104
