Reposted by Warning BitesUncut Femmes @juliagiantrat.bsky.social · 05/10/2026i can't hang out i have court-ordered bedtime 1475
Reposted by Warning BitesHigh Priestess, Low Patience @cheriepriest.com · 04/10/2026no, she’s the wolf from a 4th or 5th century mosaic depicting the founding of Rome 404776658
Reposted by Warning Bitesceej @ceej.online · 15hwe don't have time for another plague apocalypse. we already did that. we're on to robot apocalypse now, try to catch up. next in line is fungal apocalypse. please consult the schedule 772409490
Reposted by Warning BitesGreeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Until our intern Gavin completes the blood tests, please assume all enclosures contain The Thing. Thank you for your patience. 418745
Reposted by Warning Bitescaptain bleach @blainecapatch.bsky.social · 04/10/2026happy 10/4 good buddies 2021930
Reposted by Warning BitesTim Price @timprice.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Oh yeah that’s the good stuff 2002717529
Reposted by Warning Bitesceej @ceej.online · 04/10/2026“how do we win back trump voters in 2026” we don’t. we create an environment where admitting to voting for trump is so socially embarrassing as to render them completely inert. you don’t “win back” trump voters. you demoralize them into staying home. you make it a dunce cap 150107712330
Reposted by Warning BitesBoochy Boo @frenchys-goldau.bsky.social · 02/10/2026[sheep eating grass] "This is fucking awesome" 13716
Reposted by Warning BitesTred @tredlocity.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Cartoon wolves used to be horny for human women. But now human women are horny for cartoon wolves. The reason? Woke. 4044901275
Reposted by Warning BitesJenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Thinking of going on some sort of spree. Have to pick between shopping or murder. 129334
Reposted by Warning BitesSteven (with a PH) @sjksalisbury.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Most of the words I read are domesticated and raised in books and articles, but occasionally I find words out in the wild. These are my favourites. 08413
Reposted by Warning BitesSpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social · 03/10/2026I’ve decided to put myself out there (in the dumpster) 6409116
Reposted by Warning BitesMichelle says: Be kind. Always. ❤️ @snarkysillysad.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Kitten ear-cleaning service: #AGoodPlace Source: www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmil... 924247474
Reposted by Warning BitesMr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Thanks for explaining my joke to me, I didn’t get it. 49841
Reposted by Warning BitesMcSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 02/10/2026Wait. What? www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/ten...mcsweeneys.netTen Objects Around Your House That Are Actually Just Tilda Swinton Getting Lost in a RoleNovember 5, 2021 (her b-day) 1/13/23 271773300
Reposted by Warning Bitesbatkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Home Depot just blowing through its uranium budget mutating normal skeletons into 12-footers 16516
Reposted by Warning Bitessweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 01/10/2026turns out chipotle workers don’t like it when you yell “wrap that rascal” at them 415334
Reposted by Warning BitesJason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 01/10/2026September 30 October 1 333972
Reposted by Warning Bitesceej @ceej.online · 30/12/2024certain posters online are a government psyop designed to keep you giggling instead of angry. “Whimsy is the opiate of the masses…” 1227024
Reposted by Warning BitesSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Look man, I don’t care how fast you can do the math in your head. If an old guy takes out his calculator and starts punching numbers you’ve got to let him finish 1020249
Reposted by Warning Bitesandy vs. @im-all-id.me · 24/09/2026The people demand a Samsung dryer that plays a melancholy tune 2436781
Reposted by Warning Bitesceej @ceej.online · 25/09/2026ME: (crawling out of the sea) Oh thank god! There’s been a terrible shipwreck! Please, I need water GUY ON SHORE HOLDING A GIANT BOOK: Not so fast, bitch. This is Puzzle Island 1456764
Warning Bites @artofsophistry.bsky.social · 01/10/2026en.wikipedia.orgFaulty generalization - Wikipedia 000
Reposted by Warning BitesfuturedadOfTwo🙋🏻♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 23/09/2026uncanny valley ranch 1534787
Reposted by Warning Bitesmindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Word has it there's some good detritus drifting down from the ocean surface. I'm wiggling my eyestalks and clicking my pincers with excitement 423549
Reposted by Warning BitesIan Coldwater 🧊🚫 @lookitup.baby · 30/09/2026BREAKING NEWS: “Do geese see God” is a palindrome 14580531974
Reposted by Warning Bitesheadless horseDan @etbeeegood.bsky.social · 30/09/2026*death metal guy flipping thru medical journal for song names ooh, Eyestalk Ablation perfect 211830
Reposted by Warning BitesThe Trandalorian @charliejaneanders.com · 29/09/2026Teach a man to fish, he'll eat for a day Teach a man to transform permanently into a fish, you'll probably never hear from him again 32568100
Reposted by Warning BitesWard Q. Normal (he/him) @wardqnormal.bsky.social · 29/09/2026"The Gang Tries To Accuse Jack Smith Of Collusion." 0373
Reposted by Warning BitesJohn Moe @johnmoe.bsky.social · 28/09/2026I love the idea of America and I love so many Americans. I’m proud we came up with jazz and The Simpsons and the National Parks are awesome. But if you can, try to be born in one of those other countries. The ones that don’t make people fight each other in a pit for survival. Ones that love people. 1719
Reposted by Warning Biteskattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 28/09/2026is it say hello, it’s say hello isn’t it 1316535
Reposted by Warning BitesGoldstein (still not a pseudonym) @goldstein.latinsky.app · 28/09/2026 10893153
Reposted by Warning BitesNosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Me: *skips a rock perfectly across a pond* Fred Flintstone: OH NO MY CELL PHONE 18617155
Reposted by Warning Biteshappy filth_oween @filth-waste.bsky.social · 27/09/2026just having a little fun on this, the lord’s day. which is expressly prohibited in the bible and guaranteeing me a fiery eternity in hell 091
Reposted by Warning BitesDon Moynihan @donmoyn.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Diesel at record high prices and why no trucker convoy in DC? 822081321
Reposted by Warning BitesTravis comma bitch @prof-hinkley.bsky.social · 27/09/2026If you wanted a skeleton in your yard for Halloween, you should've put a body out to decay 3 weeks ago 1415452
Reposted by Warning Bitesthe babahuck @tylerhuckabee.bsky.social · 26/09/2026recipe: four cloves of garlic me: got it. ideally seven, probably eight, possibly nine but in absilutely no case less than six cloves of garlic 1315416
Reposted by Warning BitesFrovo @frovo.bsky.social · 26/09/2026[skate park] ME: hey watch this *does sick kipflick* wait *does sick flickpip* no wait *does klikcfip* hang on *klifpick* *fipklick* *pilcklif* *likfkpic* *ckilpifk*fuck 740584
Reposted by Warning BitesGail Simone @gailsimone.bsky.social · 25/09/2026I feel like as these encounters continue, I am learning Jack Reacher’s weaknesses, and I just have to apply myself more and also try to have stronger, less breakable bones. He can’t win EVERY time. 2420111
Reposted by Warning BitesInnsmouth Looksmaxxing @gonebabygone.bsky.social · 24/09/2026"Western Massachusetts is none of our business" was Lovecraft's only insight that aged well 031573
Reposted by Warning Bitesweeder @weeder.bsky.social · 24/09/2026God, grant me the courage to change the things I can and incredible new powers to change the things I can't. 63107162532
Reposted by Warning BitesDC Pierson @dcpierson.bsky.social · 24/09/2026What Road needs to do in therapy 2474
