Memento (spooky) Morty 🌙 @mementomorty.bsky.social · 19/08/2026steps to owning a cat 1. acquire cat 2. name cat 3. never call it that name and use only weird nicknames that no one else understands 851652238
Porter @porter79.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Dont have a cat 😭... have 11 yo called doodle. He nonfuzzy but also IGNORES ME 😱🤷 210
Punished Matt @zzimonzz.bsky.social · 19/08/2026My dog is almost never called by her actual name, just various nicknames 000
Toad Ferguson @amho.bsky.social · 19/08/2026This is Michael Maryanne Mulligan Marshall Mathers. 5M at the vet’s office. Or Miguel, Miggy, Mikey Long Toes, Mikey Big Purrs, Michele Michele, Steam Shoveler, Monch Mouth etc… 040
cognitively accessible math @geonz.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Rheingold was his name. FIDO .... PUMPKIN... PUMPEEEEEKIN... and "It's 3 o clock!!!" that's how we called him. (OK we named all our cats after beers.) 010
Lee Cronin's: Xaqula @xaq.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Also, @childlessgambino.bsky.social! Bb you wanna weigh in on this one too? 🥰garlic (dream they/them evil)@childlessgambino.bsky.socialI love when people have two pets and one is named like Aristotle Turing Eiderdown III and the other is named Fuckass 130
Lee Cronin's: Xaqula @xaq.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Our first dog out here was named Asgard, but I called her Dr. Jessica Wubbersly 250
Cal ✧Very Tired✧ @fleromor.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Have 2 kittens with names and nicknames and yet we all decided independently to just call them babies or gremlins or some variation 000
scare-cadus (is this anything) 🎃 @birdapp.rip · 19/08/2026tuna fish caterole = my cat Luna's nickname 050
brightshadow (3x as scary as usual) @cuil.world · 19/08/2026My nicknames aren’t very creative, usually Henry is actually stinker, dummy, or HEY STOP THAT 030
haunted pizza @belladonnaeyes.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Nico became Nico Chico, then Chico, Cheeky, Cheeky Peeky, Cheeky P, Chickpea, Chickle Pickle, and Pooka 000
Never Brief the Throwaway COA @bangunit.bsky.social · 19/08/2026"Ten Piece Order of Chicken McDumbass, where the hell did you go?" 0270
Borracho y Loco @borrachoyloco.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Our new kitten refused to acknowledge her name. She's already won. 020
Don Hundt @donhundt.bsky.social · 19/08/2026We have Fluffypants, Zar Zar Binks and El Gordo. I’m not sure I remember their real names. 010
landslug.bsky.social @landslug.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Kitten, Baby, Marvelous, Tabbyface, PoopPoop, Buzby. Not their real names, and yes I have six 😺 000
Lady DEADtera, Wee Ghostie Edition 👻🍁😷 @ladylettera32.bsky.social · 19/08/2026My parents' one dog Norton responded equally well to Fuzzy Butt 000
Jeremy @floregonian.com · 19/08/2026Cebollo was Bollo and Peetie and Tico. Rafiki is Mimi so much that recent prescriptions have that name on them. Jujubee is Junie and bebe. Squid is queedoo and queedoot and quee. Baba is still just Baba but she’s the newest. Names will emerge. 1100
Navin R. Johnson @navinjohnson.bsky.social · 19/08/2026I kinda did this with my younger kid. He’s got like 15+ names in regular rotation. 😬 060
Carrie 🎃 @theoutregirl.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Step three applies to all beloved pets. My brother got a dog. I call her beans all the time because she has, thus far agreed to let me touch her toe beans. 020
An Erin @dragonkittyrawr.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Nicknames include, cat, other cat, other other cat, little man, tiny, tiny floof, teeny tiny 000
James 🪓 Blunt™️ @aggrocrag.bsky.social · 19/08/2026bsky.app/profile/aggr...James 🪓 Blunt™️@aggrocrag.bsky.socialintroducing my dogs: this is the World's Silliest Smelly Boy and this is Sweet Little Baby Puppy (100 lbs.) introducing my cat: this is The Fool 010
Jèf Uphoff @juphoff.bsky.social · 19/08/20264. be reduced to incoherent mutterings of exasperation as it wakes you at 5am by stealing the drain mechanism from your bathroom sink and clattering it across your bedroom floor 020
Amanda E 🇨🇦🇪🇺 @sammagotchi.bsky.social · 19/08/20264. make up silly little songs about cat and sing them to her face with a huge grin while she looks on unimpressed 011
Emmanuel E. @emmanueledem.bsky.social · 19/08/2026𝗛𝗮𝗵𝗮, '𝗯𝗮𝗯𝘆 𝘀𝗮𝗹𝗮𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿' 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗱 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽 😂 𝗖𝗮𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗱𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝗶𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆'𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗱. 000
Nate is waking up @nf1nk.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Step one can be as simple as leaving the back door open. That can get you the perfect part time cat. 000
James Petruzzi @hawaiianimages.bsky.social · 19/08/2026You set out to acquire your cat? Ours just happened. 2200
habu333.bsky.social @habu333.bsky.social · 19/08/2026What if i dont acquire the cat, but it acquires me? 000
tbd @tumescentnumpty.bsky.social · 19/08/2026In Soviet Russia (and the rest of the world) cat acquires you 0130
Juliaghoulia 💀🎃👻 @juliafnp.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Acquired my old cat as a tiny rescue kitten at about 6 weeks. Gave her the regal name of Isis, like the goddess she was. For the rest of her 17 years unless we were at the vet she went by “MiniCat,” even during her less mini days 000
calyx laine @autisticdanhibiki.bsky.social · 19/08/2026i do this with my dog who is so insane and freaky and Himself that he might as well be a cat. hes poodle maltese shih tzu Something Else That Can't Be Picked Up By Embark but his personality and looks (besides his massive nose) are mostly shih tzu somehow 000
EasilyDistracted @babblingfringe.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Step 1 is sometimes “be acquired by a cat”, too! 030
Kai TechnoLust (he/him) @technolust.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Princess Floofybritches is not her name but she comes if you say it. 🤣 010
Decorative Gourd Season Motherfuckery (he/him) @digitaldiscipline.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Cat's name: "Dammit, Hardison" Cat responds to: "Snerf" 000
Robin Of Broccoli @robinofbroccoli.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Pooh Bear Pooh Poopy Poopy butt Poopsie Pooh schnickens Schnick (It hasn’t even been a month since adoption day yet) 🙄💀 010
Gentle Ice💜☯Ⓐ @gentleice.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Our cats Picklegrab and Stickerbrush Symphony understand this all too well. Mom insists on calling them "Kevin" and "Cleo." She's so weird 030
KevTheRev @kevtherev.bsky.social · 19/08/2026You premise is flawed. Humans do not own cats: it's the other way around. 000
CatFrat @catfrat.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Step 4: riff off the cat’s various nicknames until it has no relation to cat’s original name 030
Captain Reginald “Reggie” Thistleton @reggiiiiiiiiie.bsky.social · 19/08/2026My son’s official name is a placeholder that became his name. White cat, blue eyes; named him Jon Snow (the S1 just came out, sue me). He has the following names: Jon Boy Jon Boyega Baby Boy Boyo Bud Bub Jonathan (when he’s been bad) Jon Jonathan Boyega [surname]-Snow Little Fuck Bastard 000
Sheo @sheologian.bsky.social · 19/08/2026My Marmalade Man My Marmalade Menace My Roofy Doofy Mr Babyman Dickhead Shithead SONOFABITCH 0140
Josephus Brown @josephusbrown.myatproto.social · 19/08/2026my sisters cat in college was Dolla Dolla Bill and his names were Dolla Bill Billiam William Murderface Donald Darius Billingsworth, III except her super white housemate who was legitimately incapable of calling him anything but "Dollar" she straight up hard r'd the cat 1181
Zelnut 🍉👾 @dahliaiterations.com · 19/08/2026My cats are Penny and Ollie, which are short for Pennifer and Ollificent. I mostly call them Beanenen (aka Sweetest Beanest) and Chicken (aka Poulet Parkour, The Spider Cat). As is tradition. 120
Scare-ik (Erik) @cacheblaster.bsky.social · 19/08/2026You can give your cat a silly name, too. We had one named Mister Poopington. 000
Benny Six Six Six-Cats @teeveeben.bsky.social · 19/08/2026BABY BEAR aka Squidget, Skunch, Pear Pear, Soot Gremlin, Bridge Beast, Berber Ber 4470
Pete @punishedpete.bsky.social · 19/08/2026My cats name is KitKat, but I call her Fatty, or, Fatronious Maximus, or Fatron. 000
Lily Crue Tamed by Titanium @lilycrue.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Have kitten. Named him Admiral Gray of ___ Bay. He was born on a street ending in Bay but there is no water anywhere. No Bay. My father saw no humor in that name. Said it is weird. I told him to call the kitten Admiral. He asked why? It is his name! We shall see if it lasts? 090
Marco (a murder clown) @marquells.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Pumpkin -> Poomsley, Pooms, Pumpkin Seed, Poomsloaf, Pumpy, etc. 020
emerson @saldemar.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Most cat names are just jumping off points for future riffs 140
Cardbordeaux Sommelier @meh-guh.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Mr Knifehands, Tiny Crimes, Tina Crèms (bc typo in the fam chat), the Public Schoolboy, Sir Chompsalot, Mr Hide, Bratface, Baby Antisnug, Criminal Crimes, Stinky Stinky Buttcrimes... 000
lotion wizard @oldlotion.bsky.social · 19/08/2026when i started on twitter as "lotion wizard" and i was using a fake name i also gave chonk a fake name, you know. for his safety. he was "stinky" online 1100
Hrimhari @hrimhari.bsky.social · 19/08/2026And nonsense like "You're a cat! And a girl! Did you know they make girl cats? Because you're one!" 010
TubaPeter Sez Send More Paramedics @tubapeter.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Names I call my girl Margaret include Margarita, Rolly-Polly, Tiny Girl, Bad Cat, and Dump Truck. 000
Nerdomniaphile M.D. @nerdomniaphile.medsky.network · 19/08/2026Top nicknames I have for my cat: Muppet, Quiet Erp, Pretty Lady, Miss Princess (her actual name is Molly [not after the drug, after a Dresden Files character]) 180
elle 🐱 @ellebae.bsky.social · 19/08/20263: I feel like people call their cats: * foods * nonbinary names / objects * another animal 010
provolonewanderer.bsky.social @provolonewanderer.bsky.social · 19/08/2026The kitten here is called dinglewood pharmacy right now 050
tipHAGgard @tiphaggard.bsky.social · 19/08/2026the things I call one of our cats (3) have never before been uttered by human tongue 010
Memento (spooky) Morty 🌙 @mementomorty.bsky.social · 19/08/2026baby salamander is a proper nickname for a cat 91602
Aerliss @aerliss.bsky.social · 19/08/2026My vegan cat's vet name; Hana. Actual name; The Wub. Everything else she got called; Chubs, Chonkadonk, Wubble, Trub, Trouble Wub, Wibble Wobble, Tiny Wub, fluffbutt, Fluffle, tufty butt... actually they all get called tufty butt. 000
👻 Spooky Cat War 👻 @eternalcatwar.bsky.social · 19/08/2026I started calling Puck Puckleberry Hound 1130
Castlevania Bravo @castlebravoli7.gobirds.online · 19/08/2026Her government name is Venus but I call her Bozo Brain and Madam Meow 030
Shivvers in Fear 🙀 @shivvy.blacksky.app · 19/08/2026“babycat” “kitty” “kiki maRUUU” “face” “triangle face” “girl” 060
Mercurywoodrose (Antifa Science Officer, Division 23 Airborne) @mercurywoodrose.bsky.social · 19/08/2026I’m having trouble remembering my cats legal names. Is he catty cat or good boy? Wow 020
The Smartest Floridian @stryc9fuego.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Mochi must think his name is "Lad" how much I call him that. 000
Mrs. PA-C @mrspac.medsky.social · 19/08/2026Can confirm. Cats name is Mallie. Shes cat, kitty cat, kitty kitty, mal pal, or mal 010
Conservation of Anger Momentum @primarylupine.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Selection of our past cats; Teeter Moops, Foost, Meems, Kittne (we also called her Typo), Mitsubishi (her given name was Eclipse), and Wicket (dunno his registered name, he was an abandoned show cat that looked like an Ewok). 110
