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@tumescentnumpty.bsky.social
559 followers 250 following 6K posts

god that other place sucked

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Molly White @molly.wiki · 1h
AI has (incorrectly) identified me as the author of a smut book called “My Grumpy Billionaire Secret” and offered to replace my AI audiobooks with new AI audio the future is now
Hi Molly,  My Grumpy Billionaire Secret is on Audible with a virtual voice edition, and that flat read is the first thing a listener hears.  We'd remake it and get it onto 20+ audiobook platforms. Still a synthetic voice, but directed, with pacing and music, so it actually holds attention.  Want the first chapter done free so you can hear it?  Alek
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ArtButMakeItSports @artbutmakeitsports.bsky.social · 5h
Time orders Old Age to destroy Beauty (flipped, detail), by Pompeo Girolamo Batoni, 1746, 📸 by @madelinepcarter.bsky.social
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Micah @rincewind.run · 12h
getting mad at the pope for not thinking the chatbot has a soul is easily the funniest thing I've read all week
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Rory Blank @roryblank.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I think this is the best shirt design I've done all year roryblank.bigcartel.com (I am reposting this because the previous version included a typo, but I am also not deleting that post lol)
A cute drawing of a tiger wearing a little hat and trousers and a shirt, fishing on a small island, with text saying "I don't actually have to do anything at all
I am perfectly contended living without purpose"
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Mina Kimes @minakimes.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Straight up: As a woman in football, this sucks to listen to. This week in particular.
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Gwen C. Katz @gwenckatz.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Things Gavin Newsom has vetoed this week: -A ban on secretly recording people with smart glasses -A ban on ICE agents working for the state government -A ban on websites selling your data -A bill giving native tribes more say over water rights -A bill protecting transgender healthcare providers
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Jay Willis @jaywillis.net · 01/10/2026
His name coming out as "RABBITS" in a grinding Maine accent, the most beautiful sound I've ever heard
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#StupidSuez @diplomatofnight.com · 01/10/2026
Less than two days later it is reported that the USG will be waiving human rights conditions requirements on $320,000,000 in military assistance for Egypt "in light of Cairo's "helpful role" since the launch of the US ‌war with Iran".
reuters.com
EXCLUSIVE: US waives rights conditions for $320 million in military aid to Egypt, letter shows
The US State Department has waived human rights conditions for ​more than $300 million of military aid to Egypt in light of Cairo's "helpful role" since the launch of the US ‌war with Iran, according ...
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Gillian Brockell @gillianbrockell.com · 01/10/2026
The “states’ rights” people in the past knew it was bullshit back then too, because slaver states wouldn’t let free states pass laws protecting self-emancipated people within their borders.
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Anjali Dayal @anjalikdayal.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
🚨🚨crunch crunch alert 🚨🚨
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TribLive @triblive.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Pa. records 5th measles death with infections over 900
triblive.com
Pa. records 5th measles death with infections over 900
Pennsylvania has recorded a fifth measles-associated death as an outbreak that has sickened more than 900 people across the state continues, according to new state data released Wednesday. The state health department said the person was an unvaccinated Lancaster County resident, who tested positive for measles and died. Neil Ruhland,
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Josephine beckbook.com Riesman @josie.zone · 30/09/2026
Omg!!! Simon & Schuster updated the cover for RINGMASTER with my True Name on the cover!!! www.amazon.com/dp/198216945...
Cover of RINGMASTER by JOSEPHINE Riesman
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Rory Blank @roryblank.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Americas Top Academics Discuss
A drawing of a youtube video of two guys, one wearing a big suit and the other wearing a sweater.
One says excitedly "think about how cool it would be- giant robots show up and they're all like 'you are obsolete' and then they start shooting lasers. And I unload my gun like 'nooooooo'"
the other says "no way, it's gotta be some sort of weird disease and everyone's body gets really freaky like hands coming out of heads and shit"
the video is titled "americas top academics discuss their ideas for the coolest way for the world to end"
in the comments a user named HermanMerman85 says "two words: nuclear snakes"
in reply to him, MrPiss33227 says "grow up, it's gotta be a giant asteroid made of teeth."
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JJ in DC @jjindc.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
🧊✈️ These are all ICE flights 👀
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Sarah Andersen @sarahseeandersen.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
The image is of a four panel comic.
The first panel shows Sarah, the protagonist, holding a red ball labeled "A SILLY MEME".
The second panel shows Sarah taking the ball and going through a door labeled "GROUP CHAT".
The third panel shows a group of women sitting together and consoling one woman in the center. The woman in the center is saying "...And that's how it happened. It's been the worst day of my life."
The fourth panel shows Sarah standing in the doorway behind them awkwardly holding the red ball.
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jon christian @jonchristian.net · 30/09/2026
NEW: People who chug their own piss have emerged as MAJOR supporters of AI futurism.com/artificial-i...
futurism.com
People Who Drink Their Own Pee Are Obsessed With AI, Using It to Reassure Themselves That It's a Miraculous Cure-All
Urine therapy devotees are sharing ways to break past AI guardrails in order to brainstorm ways to use pee as medicine.
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jamie loftus @jamieloftus.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
we're celebrating the bechdel cast's 10-year anniversary by getting NOMINATED FOR AN AWARD hehe we never submit to awards and this was a really cool surprise. if you love the show or have been with us over the last decade, vote your little asses off, it would mean the world shorturl.at/nnA31
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phil @philjamesson.com · 30/09/2026
as always when this is posted, i have to fondly remember the time someone stole this tweet word for word, including using my name as the punchline, then claimed it was just independent discovery
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Brooke @brooklynmarie.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
"Why don't women just report it?"
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Hayes Brown @hayesbrown.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
like...did nobody at the White House click the links? it feels like nobody clicked the links. www.ms.now/opinion/whit...
From the WH press release:

Administrations of both parties have used public service announcements to explain policy and make the case for the nation’s direction:
[...]

It’s not just modern Administrations. President Woodrow Wilson’s Committee on Public Information used posters, films, and speakers to rally the country. President Franklin D. Roosevelt’s Office of War Information produced films, radio, and posters to promote the war effort.A headline from Smithsonian Magazine from the first link of the final section in the previous screenshot: How Woodrow Wilson’s Propaganda Machine Changed American Journalism

Subheadline: “The media are still feeling the impact of an executive order signed in 1917 that created ‘the nation’s first ministry of information’”From the National WWI Museum and Memorial’s website, the second link in the final section of the WH’s press release: 

“To influence public opinion in favor of the war, the U.S produced films, commissioned colorful posters, published pamphlets and recruited everyday Americans to “sell the war.” These efforts helped create both modern American wartime propaganda and spurred the 20th century advertising industry.”The final link in the press release from the first screenshot, this time from the George C. Marshall Foundation’s website:

After the attack on Pearl Harbor, President Roosevelt named CBS newsman and journalist Elmer Davis as the director of the OWI. Davis was charged with creating and carrying out through the newspaper, radio, motion pictures and other facilities, information programs designed to inform and create an understanding for the U.S. citizens home and abroad.

According to Elmer Davis, “The easiest way to inject a propaganda idea into most people’s minds is to let it go through the medium of an entertainment picture when they do not realize that they are being propagandized.”
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Len @len.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
This might be the funniest achievement Paradox has ever added.
Papal Bull
Make your Puppet Pope sleep with your spouse
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dr. rich traditions, JD @helldude.bsky.social · 29/12/2025
look we're all making a big bet on AI! and if it pays off as big as we hope, well, it's going to make a handful of people super rich and you're going to lose your job but get to watch mickey mouse fuck geralt from the witcher. if it doesn't pay off well then you get to pay for the bailouts
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tbd @tumescentnumpty.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Spooper intelligence spoop
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Gillian Brockell @gillianbrockell.com · 29/09/2026
SCOTUS’s shadow docket strikes again. Third-country removals are back on, using a policy that two federal courts have now ruled is unlawful.
CORDER LIST: 609 U.S.)
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 2026
26-426
(26A406)
CERTIORARI GRANTED
DEPT. OF HOMELAND SEC., ET AL. V. D.V.D., ET AL.
The application for stay presented to Justice Jackson and
by her referred to the Court is granted. The February 25, 2026 order and judgment of the United States District Court for the District of Massachusetts, case No. 1:25-cv-10676, are stayed.
The application is also treated as a petition for a writ of certiorari, and the petition is granted. The parties are directed to brief and argue the following questions: (1) Whether the district court had jurisdiction over Respondents' claims.
(2) Whether the
district court had
authority to enter classwide
declaratory
relief
and APA vacatur under 8 U. S. C. §1252 (f) (1).
(3) Whether the Government's Guidance on third-country removals
is unlawful under 8 U. S. C. §1231(b), the Due Process Clause, or
FARRA/CAT and its
implementing regulations. (4) Such other
questions that the Government determines are appropriate for the
proper disposition of the case. The Clerk is directed to
establish a briefing schedule that will allow the case to be
argued in the December 2026 argument session. The stay shall
terminate upon the sending down of the judgment of this Court.
Justice Sotomayor, Justice Kagan, and Justice Jackson would
deny the application for stay.
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Scott Spratt @scottspratt.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I made a supercut of the 4 Makai Lemon screen passes I could find from the first 3 weeks. Those plays gained -5, -3, -5, and -3 yards. Some Eagles receivers missed blocks. But even to my untrained eye, Lemon's motion in the backfield telegraphs the plays. I think Sean Mannion should scrap them.
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Lindsey Boylan @lindseyboylan.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
This man is a monster. He seeks out women survivors because he hates them. And he hates them because he hates himself. He has harassed me and other women survivors many times over the years. It must end. He should never have a job anywhere.
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Andrew @andrewhsowards.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
A lot of the work that went into this was done by my former colleague at the FPD, one of the smartest and most dedicated lawyers I ever knew, Paula Harms. She passed away last year unexpectedly and I really wish she could see this.
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Jay Willis @jaywillis.net · 29/09/2026
If you’d asked me to parody how silly and broken legal journalism is, I genuinely don’t think I could have come up with “so the best-known ‘nonpartisan’ Supreme Court outlet is now run by an ex-Trump DOJ flack who had her longtime personal friend Brett Kavanaugh officiate her wedding”
ballsandstrikes.org
The Conservative Takeover of SCOTUSblog Is Just What the Supreme Court Needed
SCOTUSblog used to cover the Supreme Court. Now, it cheers for it.
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Possum Every Hour @possumeveryhour.io · 29/09/2026
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Bill Mudron @mudron.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
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Brooke @brooklynmarie.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
You know what's messed up is this is like the fourth time in twenty years I've read this exact headline
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Razzball @razzball.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
How it started/how it’s going
Trevor Lee
@VoteTrevorLee
Thanks @nickshirleyy for hoodie.
We're cleaning up the fraud in UtahBREAKING: Utah state Rep. Trevor Lee has been charged with mortgage and communications fraud ksl.com/article/
516296... #utpol @KSLcom @KSL5TV
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Stuffing the Passer @stuffingthepasser.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Luther Burden is a man of compassion and forgiveness… *pulls out and cocks a pair of pearl-handled six-shooters* …too bad I’m Luther Burden the Third
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tbd @tumescentnumpty.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Obama Hope poster with Case Keenum instead that says Case We Can
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tbd @tumescentnumpty.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
They haven't been doing it every play, but the Bears have been doing a weird cadence thing all night where Bradbury waist a beat after the "go" before snapping and I wonder if that paid dividends there.
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tbd @tumescentnumpty.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
gon be a slobberknocker tonight
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tbd @tumescentnumpty.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Oh my god, Skattebo and JJ McCarthy is going be levels of derpy cringe previously thought impossible
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tbd @tumescentnumpty.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Don't think of it as a redistribution of wealth, think of it as a server wipe so new meta strategies can be tested.
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Gillian Brockell @gillianbrockell.com · 28/09/2026
IT'S OFFICIAL. The progressive members of the Chicago City Council (looking at you, @andrefor40th.bsky.social) stopped ICE's cruelest, most notorious charter airline, Omni Air International. news.wttw.com/2026/09/28/f...
news.wttw.com
Firm Set to Buy Chicago’s Parking Meters Sells Airline That Carried Out Deportations
More than a dozen progressive members of the City Council said they would not vote in favor of the deal unless the firm sold Omni Air, threatening the completion of the deal involving the city’s 36,00...
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Stellbound: Stellraiser II @antlervel.vet · 28/09/2026
HOST: All right, British Food YouTubers… final challenge! Simply pronounce “Wagyu” correctly even one single time. BRITISH FOOD YOUTUBER 1: Waggoo. HOST: Ah, sorry, that’s incorrect. BRITISH FOOD YOUTUBER 2: Oh! Waggoo! HOST: Incorrect. BRITISH FOOD YOUTUBER 3: *smirking confidently* Waggoo.
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Lauren Theisen @laurentheisen.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Pac vs Orange Cassidy from Feb. 2020. One of my favorite "comedy matches" ever and a real bright spot to continually look back on once that year took a turn. youtu.be/7W63y_mCcg0
youtu.be
FULL MATCH: PAC vs Orange Cassidy | AEW Revolution 2020
YouTube video by All Elite Wrestling
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Grudgie the Wail @grudgie.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
He may have never successfully altered vote counts but Trump has cheated in all 3 of his elections
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Roberto Rojas @robertorojas97.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
The Brazilian Portuguese commentary on that Tyler Loop field goal for the Ravens is exactly what everyone needs to hear right now
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Gillian Brockell @gillianbrockell.com · 27/09/2026
If only there were a more concise word for “an overtly political campaign advertisement paid for by the government.” If only there were a roomful of writers and editors one could consult…
Eric Lipton NYT
@ericlipton.nytimes.com
What an odd moment in United States history.
A U.S. president is running an overtly political camaign advertisement, right before midterm elections, paid for by the U.S. government.
Trump appears to believe he is immune from any kind of legal limit.
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Rodger Sherman @rodger.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
HE DID IT! NFL RECORD
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
They just released a mod sponsored by IKEA
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Memento (artemis) Morty 🌙 @mementomorty.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
cincinnati must pay for its chili sins
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CJ Fogler @cjzero.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
"Y'all be safe, be smooth, and have a great night" Kamario Taylor
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Revolving Door Project @revolvingdoordc.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Hakeem Jeffries' House commission on AI is stacked with lawmakers who've received huge campaign contributions from Big Tech and AI companies.
levernews.com
Big AI’s Favorite Democrats Are Writing The Party’s AI Plan
Hakeem Jeffries’ five-member AI commission is stacked with lawmakers backed by industry super PACs seeking to shape federal policy.
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Since everyone is talking about the Elon movie and it’s an AEW pay per view it’s worth remembering when the Young Bucks were thinking about how to quickly let everyone know their characters were gigantic douchbags and their two moves were to dress like this and rent a Cybertruck
Young Bucks getting out of the Cybertruck Young Bucks dressed like dickheads fist bumping in front of the Cybertruck
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