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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him)

@wheeltod.bsky.social
13K followers 469 following 1.8K posts

Just a regular, salt-of-the-earth coastal elite who enjoys curling up on fire in front of a nice bottle of wine A tiny blue dot in a deep blue state. Strictly no MDs My stuff: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:jpsxdd3bnn…

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Reposted by Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him)
𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Science fact: If you clutch your pearls hard enough they transform into diamonds.
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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
How do you guys clean up after another day of trodding clay into bricks without straw? I’m an Ivory soap man myself
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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
oh shit he started 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 war ?
Iranian president says US ‘must choose’ if it wants to end war on Fox News 😳
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Jane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Pulled a hammy exercising my restraint again.
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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Probably the number one question people ask me is, “How did you find out where I live?”
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Anonymous @youranoncentral.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Iran could get anything it wants from the US, as long as the final deal is named something like “big Trump victory deal”, US negotiators aren’t even needed. They could even negotiate all sanctions lifted, brand new F35s, nuclear weapons, and total control of Hormuz if they felt bold enough.
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Hi, I’m Mike Meyers and there’s nothing “Shagadelic, baby!” about clinical depression
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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Velcro? What a fucking rip off
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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
"I never normally do this on a first date," I breathe seductively, holding up my phone to show her the 40-minute video of my parrot that I've edited to the Macarena on repeat.
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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Me: “I have a very high tolerance for pain” My tolerance for pain (giggling): “Hey — do you think fish know they’re wet?”
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Seamus O'Flaugherty @seamussaid.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
(medical examiner school) teacher: okay class let's make sure every page is on the same body
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Horsemorsel @horsemorsel.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Which of the Brontë sisters was NOT a published author? Charlotte Emily ARACHNOTRON 3000 Anne
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Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I love how the most woke place in England is called B Right On
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
i’m at the “has to remove my glasses to really hear something” stage of life
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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
welp, guess we’re all gonna die then
shitler says a smart president is all that’s needed to rein in A.I. so, uhhhhh, how do we get one of those ? 🤔😩👻
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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
[Classroom] Kid (writing on blackboard): "I love dogs" Teacher: "No Timmy, remember -- in cursive." Kid scrubs board, writes "I goddamn love fucken dogs!"
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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I Paid A Raccoon For Hand Stuff: Memoirs From My Time At Quantico
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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
concerned that the Sydney Sweeney gambling advert is going to make young men want to jack off
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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Me: “I have a very high tolerance for pain” My tolerance for pain (giggling): “Hey — do you think fish know they’re wet?”
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Anonymous @youranoncentral.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
When the Kremlin hurts, Trump squeals.
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No Trick Pony @hiddenpinky.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Gimme the bait, boys, I'll get my pole And we'll go down To the crawdad hole And fish today....
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MꙬse Allain @mooseallain.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
"The appellation's Bond. Jim Bind" Roget Moore
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Danny @mardigroan.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Looking in the mirror and the image used to be a bit like Peter Parker but, sorry, it's now starting to resemble J. Jonah Jameson.
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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
I think it should be legally mandated that all cyclists wear fluorescent clothing when riding at night. It makes it so much easier for me to take them out with my BB gun.
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
I'm suspicious of organized religion. I think it goes back to my childhood. When I watched our cult leader carve open my father’s chest and offer his still-beating heart to the gods
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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
*I sledgehammer through the concrete of the basement floor. Dust flies everywhere. The cloth bundle is buried where I left it in 2009. I unwrap it reverently. My kazoo remains in pristine condition I hoped this day would never come. But now I’m back.
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Skinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
gonna start telling random people ‘good luck’ then pausing to add that they are ‘going to need it’
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Josh Mankiewicz @joshmankiewicz.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Expect more. Pay less. www.mysuncoast.com/2026/09/10/f...
mysuncoast.com
Florida man arrested wearing G-string, sneakers in Target parking lot
A Florida man was arrested after he was caught wearing just G-string underwear and sneakers outside of his car in a Target parking lot.
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Pandy Fackler 🍂 @thatbrenna.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Never forget
Marriott hotel offering free coffee and muffins for 9/11
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geekysteven @geekysteven.com · 11/09/2026
For the British, their 9/11 is 11/9 because their towers fell in November
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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
"I never normally do this on a first date," I breathe seductively, holding up my phone to show her the 40-minute video of my parrot that I've edited to the Macarena on repeat.
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
him: i’d really like to get to know you better me: *lets him get to know me better* him: umm yeah, ok wow, this is a lot
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jamelle @jamellebouie.net · 10/09/2026
in terms of optimal impact, the time to make a big outlandish promise is like four or five days before the election, not two months before
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MꙬse Allain @mooseallain.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
A man in a face covering talks to another man who is looking disappointedly at a small box he is holding. Man 1 “What's that?”. Man 2 “Baklava. I misread the WhatsApp”
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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Shaving Cream, least favorite cream. Then "of wheat" then the band.
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Brick's House 🍁 @brickmahoney.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
still recovering from last saturday when i stayed up till 9:45
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Delaney King (She/Her/Whomst) @delaneyking.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
As a lesbian I heartily condone this strike and am willing to pick up any slack required.
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[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Vote for me for most influential BlueSky account and everyone gets $5 in Kohl’s cash
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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
You never forget your first love handle.
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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
me: one pill please pill bottle: 37 me: no just one please pill bottle: 37 me: please only one pi- pill bottle: SILICA PACKET
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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
delicious if literal: ham-handed
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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
I’m glad there are no female cereal mascots because the last thing I need is to wanna fuck a cereal mascot.
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Jane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
There's never a falling anvil around when you need one.
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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
"Bush did 9/11" (stands up and leaves) ... "Bush did 9/11" (stands up and leaves) ... "Bush did 9/11" (stands up and leaves) ... "Bush did 9/11" (stands up and leaves) ... "Bush did 9/11" (stands up and leaves) ... "Bush did 9/11" (stands up and leaves) - Me, speed-dating"
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DB 🇨🇦 @rebelliousdb.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
One thing that I've learned here is that even a mediocre post will get some attention if we leave it as our pinned post for 5 years.
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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Clowns are only scary if you allow them to glimpse your soul, Billy.
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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
kids, life is like a game of pac-man, you spend your days running around and eating and trying not to die while multicolored ghosts chase you. life is also like being on shrooms
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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
"Don't take shit from anyone!" -- Momma dung beetle scolding her kid for stealing food
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Frances Meh @francesmeh.reviews · 02/09/2026
the blocks are starting in my replies. nature is healing.
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