iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 13h

Achievement unlocked: caught a moth in my hands like Gandalf did when trapped on top of Saruman’s tower

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 15/02/2024

Maybe the real Microsoft Copilot was my wife all along

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 19/01/2025

OSAMA BIN LADEN HAS RETURNED now that I have your attention, I just wanted to ask you if, you know, maybe you'd like to go out with me maybe,

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

whether Vulcan or Android crew members, Star Trek has always had great representation for people like me who do not experience emotions

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

muttering “to prevent war. the galaxy is on Orion’s belt” to myself and wondering why I can’t fall asleep

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BayBayFriend @baybayfriend.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

At drive-thru speaker: Could I please get the number 5 and fries if you happen to have those back there thank you so much In between speaker and window: Demons rule the earth what are we FUCKING supposed to do build HELL from toothpicks FUCK At window: Thank you please have a ravishing life :)

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

love to take a sip of water so forcefully I almost drown

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jared leto atreides @winst.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

i will laminate the moon

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 22/07/2023

How long until we get the first guy pretending to be his wife on here

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phil @philjamesson.com · 30/09/2026

as always when this is posted, i have to fondly remember the time someone stole this tweet word for word, including using my name as the punchline, then claimed it was just independent discovery

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Inventor of liquid nitrogen: I am going to make this air wet

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NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Please stop calling me on my phone that's not what it's for

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Yes, with a thumbnail like that it deserves 0 views

YouTube thumbnail showing a dead straight road with pine trees on either side. 4 outsized cars are stopped for no reason in the middle of the road (straddling both lanes). The whole thing is probably AI-generated because the shadows don’t seem to match the position of the sun. Title is “Why Does Traffic Stop When Nothing Is Blocking the Road?”

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

MFW the person sitting next to me on the flight takes off their shoes

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Just came across this meme I made over a decade ago, on my personal computer

Inception “we need to go deeper” meme, or is it? First panel: Leo says “you’re in the wrong meme, Mr Stark”. Second panel: Cillian Murphy turns out to have Robert Downey Jr’s face photoshopped in and responds “no, you’re in the wrong meme”. Third panel: Leo looks back with his eyes narrowed. Fourth panel: “Captain America: Civil War. May 6, 2016”.

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Success is a combination of skill and luck. It doesn’t matter how good you are at playing the piano if one falls on your head from a five storey building

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𝔏𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔏𝔞𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔏𝔬𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔢 @fleurkenstein.bsky.social · 29/11/2024

if i had 10,000 spoons, I would get so much done alanis u gatekeeping shrew

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Just realised I predicted Trump’s $5,000 nonsense back in May 2025

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Life changing revelation if you use an iPhone: turning ON “Show borders” in accessibility settings turns OFF the disgusting Liquid Glass bevels 🙏🙏🙏

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Just realised I predicted Trump’s $5,000 nonsense back in May 2025

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 25/02/2026

Sure they’ve made several movies about King Kong. But why no movies about a very tiny ape

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 24/06/2025

[Flight attendant rushes into the aisle, flustered] Is anyone here a kwisatz haderach

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blink-sun8tzu @suntzufuntzu.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

"treatment is simple," doctor says. "this morning someone left this beautiful horse sculpture outside my office. take it and display it prominently in your own home. it's elegant lines and fine craftsmanship will lift your spirits." odysseus bursts into tears. "but doctor,

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

CASHIER: And that’s done. Do you want a receipt? ME: (trying to sound normal) Good morning

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

the black death. The white death. i think we’ve got many more colours to go. the beige death. the aquamarine death. etc

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Like most Star Wars films, it wasn’t good (but enjoyable nonetheless)

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phil @philjamesson.com · 20/09/2026

when i start ruminating on the boxed cereals which destroyed my memory, nothing can help me sleep. not even getting in full military regalia

image of a woman in bed wearing military regalia with several bars and medals pinned to her lapel

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

they’re going to havana syndrome me later

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 24/08/2023

every day I do DRUGS in the toilets at work Dumps that Rupture my Urethra due to their Gigantic Size

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 09/09/2023

The expression "bone dry" is stupid. Surely it depends on how wet the bone in question is

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 13/09/2023

THE BATMAN: (Grabbing mysterious villain by the collars and lifting them in the air) Who are you!? THE BAMBOOZLER: I am the Bamboozler THE BATMAN: (Bamboozled) Damn it!!

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 15/09/2023

BATMAN: [Scottish accent] Alfred, prepare the Batmobile ALFRED: [Spanish accent] Yes señor Wayne

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 18/09/2023

ME: [waking up] SURGEON: Inside of you there are two wolves ME: Meaning... SURGEON: I am about to be convicted of medical malpractice

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 15/03/2025

Trying to rearrange my iPhone home screen without it going fucking haywire. One widget flew off the screen and smashed a glass display cabinet

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 16/03/2025

The handsome boy has logged on

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 04/11/2024

Arby's: Wir Haben Das Fleisch

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Mutable Joe @mutablejoe.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

working on writing a tv series about a serial killer turned cop who has to team up with an ex-cop turned serial killer to crack a case where a serial killer who was a cop is killing cops who chase serial killers who used to be cops

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

I accept no liability for any injury or death resulting from reading this tweet

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Alec Smith @alecsmithdraws.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I forget I can post this every September

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Torsion Ham @torsionham.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

concerned that the Sydney Sweeney gambling advert is going to make young men want to jack off

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