Scott_Towel @scotttowel.bsky.social · 09/07/2026I went next door with a measuring cup in my hand and told the lady that I was all out of love and asked if she could help me out and now for some reason the police are involved. 2112
Reposted by Scott_Towel'dro🐰 @clowndro.bsky.social · 07/07/2026It's my birthday so I forced a student driver into the guard rail, never felt so alive 129027
Scott_Towel @scotttowel.bsky.social · 09/07/2026When I was in high school I briefly dated a girl named Virginia Peanut. 120
Scott_Towel @scotttowel.bsky.social · 08/07/2026The Atlantic has a new article titled The End Of Reading. It looked interesting, if one took the time to read it, which of course I did not. 052
Reposted by Scott_TowelJake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 07/07/2026How the rest of the world is producing energy: solar panels, wind turbines, water conduits, nuclear reactors How America his producing energy: coal covered in oil and beef tallow 540393
Scott_Towel @scotttowel.bsky.social · 07/07/2026I spoke to Mitch McConnell briefly today, but then there was a fire alarm at the Medium's apartment and we had to cut the seance short. 0236
Reposted by Scott_TowelSeaTea @tierno158.bsky.social · 07/07/2026Scott Toilet Paper: The micro-thin, dry, sandy toilet paper that makes sure house guests don't overstay their welcome. 2152
Reposted by Scott_Towel 👻 Ghoul Named Cru 🦇 @carnitas.bsky.social · 07/07/2026JUST GET IN THE FUCKING BOX, MITCH 16216
Reposted by Scott_TowelSaeed Jones @theferocity.bsky.social · 07/07/2026Meta Glasses are like, a Cybertruck for your face. 7763701313
Reposted by Scott_Towel𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 07/07/2026If you want to be a zookeeper, first you have to be a zoofinder. 716852
Reposted by Scott_Towelleon @leyawn.bsky.social · 07/07/2026um, so everyone cheering on egypt in the world cup realizes how the pyramids were built right? but i guess that's a conversation you're not ready to have 2467441900
Reposted by Scott_TowelKatie Mack @astrokatie.com · 07/07/2026There’s never been anyone whose involvement more completely and immediately poisons vibes and destroys joy. No good thing survives contact. 1065906714
Reposted by Scott_TowelJake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 07/07/2026You can go back to not caring about soccer now if you like. 613728
Reposted by Scott_TowelBrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 07/07/2026do you remember those commercials where one person said “your peanut butter touched my chocolate” and the other would say “your chocolate touched my peanut butter” and then they’d start fucking 1519045
Reposted by Scott_TowelViktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 07/07/2026A Joker-style origin story about the Hamburglar 1319335
Reposted by Scott_Towelturgut keskintürk @tkeskinturk.bsky.social · 06/07/2026data visualization is my passion. 491173932143
Reposted by Scott_TowelMichelle @michelleroy78.bsky.social · 06/07/2026Women aren't complicated. Take us somewhere with turquoise water, tell us we're pretty and bring snacks. 86914
Reposted by Scott_TowelReturn of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 06/07/2026“Oooooooh brother you got talk of socialised medicine and rent control and that’s trouble I say trouble with capital T and that spells trouble. Now… would you folks here happen to know about freedom? I’m talking freedom my friends sure mighty glad to say freedom and I are personal friends….” 021
Reposted by Scott_TowelThe Sgt Joker @thesgtjoker.bsky.social · 06/07/2026I’m enjoying watching employers making big payouts to the professors, teachers, and staff they fired after receiving online crap from MAGA and Russian bots after Kirk reaped what he had sown for so many years. 47517
Reposted by Scott_TowelDee Lilley🔻 @deelilley.bsky.social · 06/07/2026House on the Gein, Piet Mondrian 1900 113415
Reposted by Scott_TowelGail Simone @gailsimone.bsky.social · 05/07/2026People may blame my family for the unwashed dishes in our kitchen sink but I prefer to think it was Democratic socialists. 1161500153
Reposted by Scott_TowelChief Georgia O' Keef @jumanjimachine.bsky.social · 06/07/2026The way I use commas is more of a vibe, sometimes, it just feels right. 5162
Reposted by Scott_Towel PhantomDeeks 🫶 @deeks549.bsky.social · 02/07/2026Yeah, but does your rehab have wifi? 48737
Reposted by Scott_TowelJooli-AHH! Boolia 👻🍂🎃 @jooliaghoulia.bsky.social · 04/07/2026Hey, man, take it easy. Just save it as a draft. Let it breathe. Nobody needs a hero right now 07222
Reposted by Scott_TowelNosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 05/07/2026In lieu of healthcare please enjoy another fly-over. 6407112
Reposted by Scott_TowelCoach Rusty @coachrusty.bsky.social · 26/06/2026gah I just wish I could find a website full of likeminded individuals who are underemployed, hate AI and mask their problems with endless jokes 1331592
Reposted by Scott_TowelForrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 05/07/2026Do not go willy into that good nilly 221624485
Reposted by Scott_Towelsweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 29/06/2026it’s sadly getting to the point where i can either be informed or i can be sane 13484133
Reposted by Scott_TowelKellalena @kellalena.bsky.social · 05/07/2026Like my new bikini? It has pockets 720563
Reposted by Scott_TowelSam @samuelhlowe.bsky.social · 20/12/2024The only thing I remember from the team-building meeting is that the m&m bowl was at the other end of the table and nobody was passing that shit down. 17720
Reposted by Scott_Towelash @ashhull.bsky.social · 06/07/2026Him..hold my beer. Me..hold your own fucking beer. 28233
Reposted by Scott_TowelSkellyton 🦇 @infinitefinite.blog · 06/07/2026the midnight snack is the most important meal of the day 29940
Reposted by Scott_TowelT @mamafirefly.bsky.social · 06/07/2026suffering from face blindness while also thinking everyone looks familiar 1238
Reposted by Scott_Towelstrange ranger @lithiumsucks.bsky.social · 06/07/2026Have a blessed day, fuckface. 110338
Reposted by Scott_Towelcrumbum @fuwolfman.bsky.social · 06/07/2026I too flicker as the day grows long. 16729
Reposted by Scott_Towelbeth death & the slay-belles @dumb-belles.bsky.social · 09/05/2026I think I've finally worked out what my problem is. I love all people, but I hate everyone. 15515
Reposted by Scott_TowelChris Scott @iamchrisscott.bsky.social · 05/07/2026Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce just announced they're renewing their vows at Madison Square Garden next weekend 091
Reposted by Scott_TowelChris Scott @iamchrisscott.bsky.social · 06/07/2026Please stop posting World Cup spoilers here. I’m recording the whole thing and planning to watch it in October or November. 0192
Reposted by Scott_TowelSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 02/07/2026I always water dead plants. I’ve been wrong before 1230395
Scott_Towel @scotttowel.bsky.social · 06/07/2026Nonjudgmental compassion is really, really hard, what with all of the evil assholes everywhere. 084
Scott_Towel @scotttowel.bsky.social · 06/07/2026Mom used to tell me to use the bathroom before our car trips and now I remind myself of the same thing before I lay down for a nap. 051
Reposted by Scott_TowelCynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 05/07/2026Tonight, against a backdrop of gunpowder and steve miller, I ate some homemade potato salad on a quilt and got a whiff of a cigarette and for a beat, it was exactly 35 years ago, and then it was gone. 48217
Reposted by Scott_TowelChris Doyon @nilbog3000.bsky.social · 05/07/2026July 4th 1976 I was at my grandparents bicentennial party. A cousin took me for a spin in his screaming chicken firebird. Another cousin got in a shirtless fistfight with my aunt’s boyfriend and the fireworks started a fire in the woods that the fire department needed to put out 0155
Reposted by Scott_TowelLazlo Hollyfeld @lazlohollyfeld.bsky.social · 10/11/2024If the apocalypse comes, I have enough Taco Bell sauce packets for everyone. 413146