iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

FRODO: They're called "chastity cages". SAM: That sounds good and well for your little peeper frog, but I don't see how one could handle my own bull toad. GOLLUM: We won't wear it! SAM: YOU'LL SLITHER YOUR STINKY LITTLE EEL IN THERE OR I'LL SLICE IT FROM YOU FOR MY MORNING SAUSAGE. GOLLUM: AAAAAAAAA

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

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Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

caden cockburn @cadencockburn.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

screenshot of google search "Is tweety a boy or girl"

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Sen. Gum Blumb 🔵 @gblumb․sena... I'm calling on Donald Trump to say "no" to disrespecting his honored cabinet members. Blue Wave Warrior @yrdemauntie․bs... Spit in my mouth Senator Blumb Blexas 2026 BeLIEVER 🙏 @houstondogmom... Cut my throut and drink the bloud

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

OPENAI: At long last, we have created Attie, from the classic social media story "Attie is the most blocked account on Bluesky other than JD Vance"

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Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Will Sloan @willsloanesq.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

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Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 27/02/2026

ATTENTION PS 115:
SCHOOL CANCELED
TOMORROW
DUE TO
DEATH OF
PRINCIPAL

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Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

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Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

walking up to the register from the group lunch to see if they will accept a print out of this as payment

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I'm being told that Gen Z no longer thinks it is "funky" to own a floating barrel with airplane wings and jet engines that you use to traverse your cousin's private island shaped like his own head. So I guess there's no point asking their opinion on gorillas? Or on wearing belted denim blue jeans?

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Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

GUY WHO LOST HIS VIRGINITY AT BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE: I wish I had saved my innocence for a more special moment, like a theatrical rerelease of the original Beetlejuice.

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

If florence pugh said tut tut tut at me for any reason I would kill myself before the second was up

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

walking up to the register from the group lunch to see if they will accept a print out of this as payment

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Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

COMMISSIONER GORDON: They call him the Headler. He doesn't kill his victims, but he does give them tremendous quality of head. BATMAN: That's disgusting. COMMISSIONER GORDON: They smile so big that they have a great time. BATMAN: I'm going to break my rule of not killing, for the Headler.

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

You watch one pokemon video and for the rest of your life the youtube algorithm will only ever suggest hour long videos named "DARK ICEBERG THEORY: Ditto is Mewtwo's discarded foreskin??"

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

GUY WHO LOST HIS VIRGINITY AT BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE: I wish I had saved my innocence for a more special moment, like a theatrical rerelease of the original Beetlejuice.

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

SEAN EVANS: I read that you played the son, Biff Loman, in your high school's production of "Death of a Salesman". Do you think that experience under the direction of drama teacher Mrs. Dawidowicz deeply affected your relationship to the concept of family? CHARLES MANSON: Of course, Sean. Of course.

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

why does every interview clip of todd blanche make him look like old yeller. like a dumb old chocolate lab that got caught eating cat shit straight out of the litter. i do not care to see the man's dog faces.

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Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 24/09/2023

VILLAGER A: Lovely day today! VILLAGER B: La la! I'm going to school! VILLAGER C: My mother isn't back yet. I hope she hasn't gone into the Snails' Den. VILLAGER D: I'm busy. VILLAGER E: This town hasn't been the same since the Empire invaded. VILLAGER F: You can sneak past snails by holding 🅑.

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Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

You: neckbeard, lives in parents' basement, keyboard and fingers crusted over with Cheetos dust Me: looks sharp as a tack, happily married with two kids, uses chopsticks to eat Chester's Reserve: Artisanal Cheese Plops

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

25 min highway slowdown due to a lane closure. drive past and it's a burned out husk of a car with an undamaged bumper sticker that still says "❤️ friends in my computer ❤️ friends in my phone"

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Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

ɢʀᴇᴇɴʜᴏʀɴ ꜰᴏᴏᴛᴘᴀᴅ @colourmode.bsky.social · 04/08/2025

For us Millennials, it used to be we had Dane Cook, Drake & Josh, and Dax Shepard. But now… ✅ We can’t cook. ✅ We drink 𝒥𝑜𝓈𝒽. ✅ We’ve forsaken our shepherd!

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Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

ɢʀᴇᴇɴʜᴏʀɴ ꜰᴏᴏᴛᴘᴀᴅ @colourmode.bsky.social · 08/08/2025

let me call you back boss I’m with a custoid right now [hangs up] i’ve been dreaming of ways to serve you.

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

For a few months I've been dream journaling and none of them has stuck with me like this one

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Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

BayBayFriend @baybayfriend.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

You want to star in this mobile game ad, huh? 🤔 Well is your house ugly in a way that costs $700,000?

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Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Cleaning my son's room and found his bluesky account open on his school laptop to a draft that said "smoking that shit that made dolores give claibirth". We do not know what it means, but we are deactivating Xfinity high speed home internet effective 8 am Monday morning.

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Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 10/10/2023

About to get thrown out of here for obvious reasons

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

AI actress Tilly Norwood has released a new shirtless photo that reveals a totenkopf tattoo. I hope you're all ready for this whole song and dance again. 😞

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

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Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Return of the Cmonmacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

The picture below of Zuck but he’s saying "I'm doing kegels right now, but they're imperceptible. I call them 'hummingbirds",

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

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Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

People chill out about my exgay dog challenge level: impossible. Yes, we sent him to conversion therapy for three months! No, it was not homophobic to do! He is not a 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯, he is a 𝘵𝘰𝘺-𝘴𝘪𝘻𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘪𝘹.

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

WASHINGTON—Supreme Court stays lower court's ban on President Trump renaming Fat Cock Friday to "Thirst Trap Thursday 2". "Despite the constant efforts of the administration and its supporters on this very bench, we remain a nation of laws," Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson writes in scathing dissent.

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

STING: (finishing any song he's ever written) This is it. This is what I wanted. I'm happy with this, as the outcome.

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

⚠️ This user is physically harmed by podracer ass names. Please do not type Kai Ryssdal.

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Fan idea: there should be a Zelda enemy called "Child" and it is a human baby. It is weak to being struck in the eyes by a "sword beam".

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Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I thought this was just beautiful. Kurt Vonnegut takes a walk to mail a letter:

She calls out, “Where are you going?” And I say, “I am going out to get an envelope.” And she says, “Well, you’re not a poor man. Why don’t you buy a thousand envelopes? They’ll deliver them, and you can put them in a closet.” And I say, “Hush.”

I go next to the postal convenience center down the block at the corner of 47th Street and Second Avenue. The woman behind the counter says, “Thirty-nine cents for a stamp.” I say, “I only brought thirty-seven. When did that change?” She looked at me a long time. “Thirty-seven isn’t enough.” “Well that oughta be enough for one envelope,” I said. The line was getting longer.

The lady moved her hand into her coat. I knew this routine. I backflipped behind the man behind me in line, wrapping my elbow around his throat as I landed. By the time the stamp seller had unloaded her clip, I had full cover. The gentleman’s body dropped to the floor, six holes smoking. The package he was carrying fell to the floor with a heavy clunk. Whatever was in there, it would do.

I rolled my foot over the cardboard and did a “flick up” as they call it in soccer. I bounced the package once or twice on the back of my foot as the mail lady reloaded, then I launched it high and spun 360 to deliver my patented “Rising Phoenix kick”. The package caught fire as it shattered through the protective plexiglass window and struck the woman’s head with all the force and hatred I had learned to channel in my grueling tutelage under five fallen Wudang masters in my youth. The lady’s body exploded off of her bones, leaving just a blackened skeleton spinning in her office chair. “So it goes,” I said, but no one laughed. I guess they weren’t big readers.

And I go home. And I have had one hell of a good time.

We are dancing animals. How beautiful it is to get up and go out and do something. We are here on Earth to fart around. Don’t let anybody tell you any different.

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

When the bluesky devs get to heaven they're going to be asked "Why didn't you glorify and incite violence?" and they will have to say "My Lord, we actually made it illegal in our Community Guidelines. We thought our word was more important than that, your highest Commandment."

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

If artificial intelligence could do anything useful, you'd think it would start by having more creative ideas than repeating my own search terms back to me as a new suggestion??(????)

Search: from:jira

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Reposted by Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Always be careful who you make fun of in high school, you never know who will grow up to become the undisputed "King of Pop" before dying at home of a propofol overdose in late June, 2009. — Michael Jackson, yearbook quote

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