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fumblefingersmagee.bsky.social

@fumblefingersmagee.bsky.social
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MickDundee58 @lairdmickd.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
"I bought a vinyl record of Wasp Sounds the other day, but when I played it, it didn't sound anything like wasps". "Then I realised I was playing the bee-side."
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MickDundee58 @lairdmickd.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
"Good news, I've just become the 'Leap Frog' World Record Holder. On the downside, I'm now banned from ever entering any Mosque again."
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MickDundee58 @lairdmickd.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
"A dyslexic man walks into a bra."
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Tim 🇨🇦 @qwertying.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
My car's backup camera now displays a little message: "Objects in mirror are as disappointed in you as I am."
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Michael Warburton @michaelwarburton.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
One of the best behind the scenes Documentaries on Pop music you’ll ever see. This group of L.A. session musicians were literally the sound of the 60’s & 70’s. They were known in the industry as… THE WRECKING CREW (2015)
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MickDundee58 @lairdmickd.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Patient: "Doctor, come quick, I've been bitten by a Wolf." Doctor: "Where?" Patient: "No, just a regular one."
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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Alligators have a running speed of 20MPH. Anyone want to guess the running speed of former alligator handler Gavin?
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Fumblefingers Magee @fumblefingersmagee.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I didn't know that this was a thing! open.spotify.com/track/24pPps...
open.spotify.com
Home Sweet Home - feat. Dolly Parton
Mötley Crüe, Dolly Parton · From The Beginning · Song · 2025
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Mariana Z @mariana057.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I've decided to begin searching for my birth mother. I realise, of course, that I may never find her, but that's the risk I took when I drove her to IKEA…
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Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
turns out when they ask you to give blood, they mean your own. my bad
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Helen @helenmaryme.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
🤣😆❤️
Chalkboard sign posted outside an ice cream shop. The word "ice cream" is written with an arrow pointing to the shop door. The words "cruel world" are posted with the arrow pointing out to the world at large.
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Michelle @michelleroy78.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
"I hope I didn't need that." -- Me, vacuuming
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Gene Rayburn @generayburn.com · 23/09/2026
I am trying box. I am trying REAL HARD.
Cardboard box that says "Do not break down"
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MickDundee58 @lairdmickd.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I told my daughter to go to bed because the cows were sleeping in the fields. She said, "what's that got to do with anything?" I said, "it's pasture bed-time."
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Low Quality Facts @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
That's reasonable.
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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
[taco bell drive thru] Hi, I'd like enough tacos to forget 2026
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Mike Muth @mikemuth.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?" Death thought about it. CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE. - Terry Pratchett, Sourcery
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Got banned for life from my gym for refusing to stop calling my leg muscles my thighceps
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Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Gemini: You will try to believe it’s butter and you will fail miserably.
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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
i used to think i was misunderstood but it turns out everyone understood me just fine. im just weird
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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Why is it called belly dancing and not navel exercises?
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MickDundee58 @lairdmickd.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
"I have two dogs, called Rolex and Timex. They're my watchdogs."
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MickDundee58 @lairdmickd.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
"I think my wife is hallucinating." "She keeps telling me she's seeing someone else."
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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
[spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is worcestershire KID: you son of a bitch
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River Side Casino @riversidecasino.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
For $25, Mitch McConnell's ghost will give you three sure-thing sports betting picks.
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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
there’s no way these are the same knees i used to run up and down the stairs with
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MickDundee58 @lairdmickd.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
I asked my wife if I was the only one she'd ever been with. She said, "yes, all the others were 9's & 10's."
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MickDundee58 @lairdmickd.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
I got stopped by a Policeman last night, he asked me, "Do you have a Police Record?" I said, "Yes, Walking On The Moon, from 1979."
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River Side Casino @riversidecasino.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
It's Back-To-School season at River Side Casino! (some of our blackjack dealers are still struggling with math)
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korpisworld @kwkorpi.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Horsepower is an insane unit. Imagine buying a refrigerator rated at 3.7 raccoonstrengths.
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River Side Casino @riversidecasino.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
We’re not sure if it’s a baby with an old man’s face or an old man with a baby’s body. Either way, the fourth floor is off limits until further notice.
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Michelle @michelleroy78.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Sometimes in the middle of eating a whole rotisserie chicken with my bare hands I ask myself “Did I just run a red light?”
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Michelle @michelleroy78.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
A much-needed break from anything serious. 🥰
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River Side Casino @riversidecasino.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Due to the recent highjacking incident, we’re no longer offering hot air balloon rides.
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
If there's one thing I can't stand it's an unscheduled exchange of pleasantries.
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Fumblefingers Magee @fumblefingersmagee.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
I've finally reached the age when I get far more phone calls from my pharmacy letting me know that my medications are ready to be picked up, than I do from my family and friends.
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
"It's dangerous to go alone! Take this."
A hamster sits in a tiny blue knit basket being held by a person dressed in brown.
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Michelle @michelleroy78.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
I typed "I'm unstoppable" and my phone changed it to "I'm unstable." Honestly, that's probably more accurate.
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Granite Man @granitedhuine.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
BREAKING NEWS JUST IN: I don’t want to.
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TwoSense @twosense.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
the main thing that’s missing in my life is more chocolate
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MickDundee58 @lairdmickd.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
"I bought a muzzle for my Duck." "Nothing flashy, but it fits the bill."
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MickDundee58 @lairdmickd.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
"I started work at the Cheese Factory." "Today I learned that Edam is made backwards."
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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion . . . except people that don't drink coffee or don't eat bacon.
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Fumblefingers Magee @fumblefingersmagee.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
open.spotify.com/track/00kbL0... Living in these times, a song like this helps me remember that we are going to be ok.
open.spotify.com
Shooting Stars
Rival Sons · Feral Roots · Song · 2019
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Georgia the Explorer 🇨🇦 @georgiatheexplorer.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Gas Station Boner Pill is an excellent name for a thrash metal band
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Spooky Goosey @augustagoose.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
I’m essentially a ravioli. All tucked in the blankets and full of cheese.
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Michelle @michelleroy78.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
The person who I was when I took these chicken wings out the freezer is not the same person I am now that I have to cook them.
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Fulkery Monkery @fulkery.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
My accomplishments may seem few, but you don’t realize how unsuited I was to any of them.
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Melicious @honeybadgermel.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Emerging from peaceful slumber to a brand new day. Well, fuck me.
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