iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

"Good news, I've just become the 'Leap Frog' World Record Holder. On the downside, I'm now banned from ever entering any Mosque again."

0152

"What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun-tanning cream on a topless brunette?" "Your camera."

3172

"In what year were Kangaroo's discovered?" "A leap year."

1293

"Our sailing trip in Maine was going great . . . until we were capsized by Augusta wind."

0162

Two Cows were standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

3392

Blue-tongued lizzard back for a feed, I gave it half a ripened banana, which it happily devoured. 😀

1331933

Good morning from Seven Hills, NSW, Australia, where at 7.30 am on Friday, October 2, it is an overcast 15°C, rain on its way. May take the wife out for lunch if she wants to go out, she is having a little sleep in. Have a great day, take care, keep smiling, talk later. 😀

3523

"Two men were bartering over a marble slab." "A lot of counter offers were made."

2342

A Jumper lead walks into a Bar. The Bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

1172

"A dyslexic man walks into a bra."

1366

Two cannibals are eating a Clown, one says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

1233

"An Invisible man marries an Invisible woman." "Their kids were nothing to look at either."

1282

"Did you hear about the guy who wanted to be buried in a concrete slab?" "He was dead set."

1222

"What do you call an excited fireplace?" "Stoked."

0212

"How do you get all the Russian tanks out of the mud? Ukraine them out."

0203

Good morning from Seven Hills, NSW, Australia, where at 9.45 am on Thursday, October 1, it is a sunny 23°C. Washed rugs & towels put them on the line, breakfast over & dishes done, took the wife to hairdressers for a cut, now back home. Have a great day, keep smiling.😀 Shopping centre.

6532

A drunk was in front of a Judge. The Judge says: "You've been brought here for drinking and molesting women." The drunk says: "Great, let's get started."

4222

"What do you call a chicken who crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and then crosses back again?" "A dirty double-crosser."

1344

"Why was Melania so excited when Donald Trump became President?" "Because she could call herself the 'First Lady' instead of the third wife."

4301

"What is the square root of 69?" "8 something."

4141

A male Kangaroo walks into a Bar. He orders a scotch and starts talking about "The Good Old Days" when nobody was on their phones, when video games were for the rich, and the ozone layer was whole. "OK Boomer."

1243

Good morning from Seven Hills, NSW, Australia, where at 7.45 am on Wednesday, September 30, it is a sunny 13°C. My 'May Bush' is out in full flower. General yard work today, awaiting wife's instructions. Have a great day, keep smiling, talk later. 😀

7632

"What State has the smallest soft drinks?" "Minisoda."

3261

"I can't take my dog to the park as all the ducks keep trying to peck him . . . my fault for getting a dog that's pure bread."

2252

"What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?" "Whoops, my fault."

0464

"How do you turn a Duck into a Soul Singer?" "Put it in a microwave until its Bill Withers."

2192

"I was in Court recently. The Judge found me guilty of being 'egotistical'." "I'm appealing."

1343

"What did Roger Stone say when he bumped into Donald Trump?" "Pardon me."

1174

Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd break into a distillery. Daffy turns to Elmer and says: "Is this Whiskey?" Elmer says: "Yeth, but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank."

4484

Good morning from Seven Hills, NSW, Australia, where at 11.45 am on Tuesday, September 29, it is a Sunny 21°C. Sister-in-law went home this morning, so keeping my wife busy with a 1 on 1 game of cricket. Hope you are all having a great day, take care, keep smiling. Talk later. 😀

5522

"My mate has quit his job at the Erectile Dysfunction Clinic." "He hasn't had a raise in years."

2241

"Lot's of rain lately - anyone need an Ark?" "I Noah guy."

1283

Rain doesn't fall . . . . . . Raindrops!

2264

A Sloth was robbed by 3 Turtles. When the police arrived to help him, they asked, "what did the Turtles look like?" The Sloth said, "I don't know, it all happened so fast."

1374

"What did the Sun say after melting Frosty the Snowman?" "I came, I thaw, I conquered."

0192

"I ran into a lamppost yesterday, luckily I only sustained light injuries."

1323

Good morning from Seven Hills, NSW, Australia where at 9.15 am on Monday, September 28, it is a sunny 18°C. Bluetongue lizard has returned. On my way out to do some shopping. Have a great day, keep smiling, talk later. 😀

2422

Patient: "Doctor, come quick, I've been bitten by a Wolf." Doctor: "Where?" Patient: "No, just a regular one."

1533234

"How did the Ice-cream man sell all his product on a hot summer day?" "He had a Liquidation Sale."

0261

A blind man wakes up in hospital and asks the Doctor "where am I?" The Doctor replies, "ICU". Blind man says, "I know Doctor, I'm the blind one."

1654

"What do you call trading one joke with another?" "Quip pro quo."

0211

KALE I prefer mine with a silent 'K'.

4778

It's a shame how some things aren't made in this Country anymore. I just bought a TV and it says "built-in antenna " "I don't even know where that is."

1382