Reposted by timmimSanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Bees traditionally use chocolate to insulate their homes. And that, my friends, is the origin of the Crunchie 1181
Reposted by timmimPaul Bassett Davies @thewritertype.bsky.social · 05/10/2026It seems remarkably easy to chase American bombers out of Britain. Maybe all you need is a clown car and a person holding a sign saying "BOO". Very encouraging. 2244
Reposted by timmimfesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 05/10/2026In the past, I used to check my hair every six weeks or so to decide when to go to the hairdresser. I now check my eyebrows. 61394
Reposted by timmimmindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 23/02/2025Hate it when my friend traps me under a cup then slides a piece of paper under it and throws me outside. Do you have any idea how long it took me to get into your house? 21814213
Reposted by timmimHoodlum 🇺🇸 @nothoodlum.bsky.social · 01/10/2026“It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.” — Dolly Parton 41062761342
Reposted by timmimJonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Brb finding a rat to tickle… 924228
Reposted by timmimFinn @thegoblinpoet.bsky.social · 28/09/2026ngl "2 doggers, a lad out on the rob for diesel, a fly tipper and an actual terrorist get swept up into an international incident" would be a really funny premise for a slice of life British comedy 1344685
Reposted by timmimJane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 25/09/2026I love how dogs look at you like you invented the universe, when you really just gave them a piece of cheese. 319270
Reposted by timmimSteph Wright @elmosmoe.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Absolutely love this from @jessharwoodart.bsky.social that appeared in the @australia.theguardian.com 02614
Reposted by timmimmindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Just right-clicked on my dog to view his properties but then I accidentally converted him to a PDF. Now I can't convert him back unless I sign up for a subscription. Does anyone know any free PDF-to-dog converters that aren't full of malware? 1419746
Reposted by timmimBut Andrew Hickey Died Ten Years Ago This Very Night @andrewhickey.500songs.com · 24/09/2026DVDs aren't low-tech. They're just things you can actually own, that won't disappear overnight, that don't require a monthly subscription, that won't suddenly get reedited, that won't start putting adverts in the middle and that won't sell your data to the worst people in the world. 92162781
Reposted by timmimfesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 23/09/2026I caught the wife secretly eating at night. Supporting her through eating disorder treatment. My actual fess is that I've adopted her 'recipe' of tipping gravy and grated cheddar and mushy peas into a bag of crisps and eating it with a spoon. Like a poutine made at a chippy. 131434
Reposted by timmimLev Parikian @levparikian.bsky.social · 09/06/2026Then left again, next left, then take another left, and one more, then left again, then hang left, and again… 1447694
Reposted by timmimKaiJen M(s) 🏵️🎉 @jenetmms.bsky.social · 22/09/2026It was a bad idea leaving me to my own devices. What am I supposed to do with all these devices?? 27731
Reposted by timmimMr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social · 22/09/2026“You call it United Queendom, Britishland, Londontown, they call it sometimes England. It's got more names than any other place in the world. So many names. I call it Susan.” 213420
Reposted by timmimPaul Bassett Davies @thewritertype.bsky.social · 22/09/2026That horrible sinking feeling you get when someone announces: "The children have written a little play for us, and now they’d like to perform it, so can everyone come into the living room please," is exactly what happens when you know Donald Trump is about to address the UN. 0399
Reposted by timmimpmamtraveller.bsky.social @pmamtraveller.bsky.social · 20/09/2026Moby Dick by French artist Gérard DuBois, 625170742
Reposted by timmimmindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 20/09/2026My phone sends me a notification whenever there's an owl nearby. I don't remember asking it to do that and I don't know how to make it stop. I tried throwing my phone into a ravine but it just reappeared in my hand moments later. The owl notifications are growing more frequent 1136065
Reposted by timmimRich Neville @richneville.bsky.social · 20/09/2026 “The nurses say it’s cottage pie for supper, but it will now be a military complex/cottage pie, with baby carrots sticking out of the crust for missiles. There isn’t another cottage pie in the WORLD like this. Thank you for your attention to this matter.” 023
Reposted by timmimAnon Opin @anonopin.bsky.social · 18/09/2026There should be a ban on celebrities writing novels. If not a ban they should use a pseudonym and only reveal themselves once a book has sold a million copies. 131125
Reposted by timmimDropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 31/12/20242004: google answers your question 2014: google offers to sell you something that will answer your question 2024: google makes up an answer to your question 2034: google tells you your question is impermissible and summarily executes you 14872226
Reposted by timmimParody Nigel Farage @parodypm.bsky.social · 15/09/2026I'm proud to represent the interests of the man in the street. The street is in Thailand and the man is Christopher Harborne. 141013234
Reposted by timmimlinuxnerd @loonerlinuxnerd.bsky.social · 13/09/2026Never mind that they've been fraudulently selling hot moose piss mixed with birch ash and calling it coffee for decades. 011
Reposted by timmimbbarr246.bsky.social @bbarr246.bsky.social · 13/09/2026It's a fruit that qualifies as a vegetable. 022
Reposted by timmimWe Own It @weownit.org.uk · 13/09/2026We were promised a better postal service, at lower prices. We got neither. Privatisation failed It would cost just 0.1% of the UK national debt to buy back Royal Mail In public hands, we can reinvest profits from parcels into improving the overall service and run it solely in the public interest 310042
Reposted by timmimPaul Bassett Davies @thewritertype.bsky.social · 13/09/2026Hi, first-year students! If your parents are dropping you off at your new University this weekend, try not to feel too homesick as they wave goodbye. As soon as they get home, they'll open a bottle of wine, shag on the couch, and put your bedroom on Airbnb. 0133
Reposted by timmimmindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 12/09/2026Well, I finally gave in and bought a feral mountain lion for my home office. Honestly I'm not sure what all the fuss is about, it's actually been a huge inconvenience 024850
Reposted by timmimAnon Opin @anonopin.bsky.social · 12/09/2026It is very annoying when I click on an interesting news story and it starts audio playing. I can read a news story in about a minute. A podcast usually demands at least 15 minutes of my time. They are not equivalent. Stop putting them in the same place. 2760041
Reposted by timmimRich Neville @richneville.bsky.social · 11/09/2026You’d have to give me a damn sight more than that. 0102
Reposted by timmimAmanda @mandalikewine.bsky.social · 22/11/2024Son, your father and I have something to tell you - you were adopted. Your new parents are waiting outside in the car. 654986
Reposted by timmimmindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 10/09/2026We raised enough money at last week's fundraising drive to send 400 underprivileged lobsters to portugal for some reason. And that's just the beginning of whatever it is we're trying to achieve 321740
Reposted by timmimOctopus/Caveman @octopuscaveman.bsky.social · 02/07/2023Jesus blessing a woman with the recipe for Pepsi 251195243
Reposted by timmimSarah Dempster @dempster2000.bsky.social · 08/09/2026The first rule of Norman Collier club is ou alk ut orm er club. 1843188
Reposted by timmimPaul Byrne @theplanetaryguy.com · 09/09/2026Astrophotographer Adam (AJ) Smadi caught this image a few hours ago from Washington state. A thin crescent Moon, sunlight illuminating the rugged lunar surface. And 2,400 times farther away—and on the other side of the Sun—mighty Jupiter, and its moons Io (left) and Ganymede (right). 187165485089
Reposted by timmimGenAAaarghhvieve 🧟♀️ @gensibayan.bsky.social · 06/09/2026Some of you will repost anything 67333
Reposted by timmimRob Delaney @robdelaney.bsky.social · 09/09/2026Initially I was frustrated with the rise of self-checkout but I appreciated how stores passed the savings on to me rather than pocket the money, fire armies of workers & make me do a job I suck at. It’s also why I’m optimistic about AI! I have been kicked in the head by several horses. 653999786
Reposted by timmimPaul Bassett Davies @thewritertype.bsky.social · 08/09/2026If your home is haunted by the ghost of an atheist, exorcism doesn't work. You need an embittered humanist to come and use sarcasm on it. 3238
Reposted by timmimA.L. likely @alvildalikely.bsky.social · 08/09/2026I don’t necessarily want to lose my mind, but if one of you could stash it somewhere I can’t find it for a few weeks, that would be great. 1217171
Reposted by timmimLaura Webster @lauraewebster.bsky.social · 07/09/2026We have made a full documentary about what really happened at Reform conference. If you only watch a bit of it please make it these 39 seconds. You won't regret it. 2092639874
Reposted by timmimBrian Tyler Cohen @briantylercohen.bsky.social · 04/09/2026Breaking: Someone appears to have hacked the Republican National Convention website and it now redirects to the Epstein Files website. 53193872464
Reposted by timmimlukelukeluke @lukelukeluke.bsky.social · 03/11/2023When I see you walk your dog but not let her stop and smell stuff I smell it for her and tell her about it later when you’re asleep 291075188
Reposted by timmimChris Addison @mrchrisaddison.bsky.social · 03/09/2026Somewhere in England, a tired man turns off Channel 4 news and wearily puts on a bin. 06029953
Reposted by timmimTim 🇨🇦 @qwertying.bsky.social · 03/09/2026You folks enjoy your pumpkin spice cult. I’ll be over here drinking coffee that doesn’t taste like a candle store exploded. 564961
Reposted by timmimJohn Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 03/09/2026I tried to delete my Bluesky account but accidentally deleted my real life, so I only exist here now. Please feed me likes to keep me alive. 1148895
Reposted by timmimGet To Know Nature @gettoknownature.bsky.social · 03/09/2026For the #BirdOfTheDay theme of #Contrast I managed to find both a dark bird against a light background and a light bird against a dark background in the same photo! Poking around in my archives is fun (Cormorant and Snowy Egret) #birds 🌿 1834366
Reposted by timmimCat Hobbs @cathobbs.bsky.social · 03/09/2026How can Andy Burnham deliver public ownership? Force private monopolies to deliver on their statutory duties Say no to more bill hikes When they go bust, LET THEM Then take them back 18445
