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Sanjeev Kohli

@govindajeggy.bsky.social
2.5K followers 33 following 1.2K posts

Navid in Still Game, Synthesiser Patel in Look Around You, Ramesh in @FagsMagsandBags, Martin in Dep Q and dynamite in a boob tube. Work enquires: MacCormick@Curtisbrown.co.uk

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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 4h
The follow-ups to "Are You Experienced?" by Jimi Hendrix were "What Personal Qualities Do You Feel You Can Bring To The Post?" & "This Is Mr Torries from HR"
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 23h
In production right now - Rocky XIII, where Rocky Balboa markets a sloping electric grill
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
My ambition as a child was to be a blackjack dealer. (Although I would sell probably fruit salads as well)
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I don't hate ALL of the periodic table. Just elements of it.
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Most guitarists can only play the word 'chihuahua'. Jimi Hendrix could play 'terrier', 'alsatian' & 'Rhodesian Ridgeback”
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Is it immature to snigger & point & say "you said diarrhoea"? Well yes. And I’ll be changing my GP
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Sting runs a father-and-son barbers which caters to men of all ages. Don’t expect any chat though: "I do do dos, my da' does da's, that's all I've got to say to you"
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I once got a blood transfusion by mistake. Which is why I'm now on the Jehovah's Witness protection programme
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
"Do biscuits go to heaven daddy?" "No sweetheart. What did you think jobbies were?"
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I’m always reassured when I see that my food is “pan-fried”. I’d hate for it to be fried in a shoe or a dolphin or something
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Last night a DJ saved my life. (To be fair she’s a cardio-thoracic surgeon who spins discs every second Tuesday as a side-hustle but the principle remains intact)
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Today we fondly remember Russ Abbot, who, tragically, was vaporised on this day last year
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Judging by the lyrics of The Joker, Steve Miller's Facebook profile is an AI picture of him in full ski outfit in front of the Alps
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
My favourite Scottish prog rock tribute band is probably Emerson, Loch & Palmer
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
I made the mistake of asking Dynamo "how's tricks?". That's five hours I won't get back.
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
This was Marj’s meta moment
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
When touring near Cornwall, Musical Youth would always plan their itinerary so that they could pass the Duchy ‘pon the left hand side
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Your porn star name is the name of your first Virgil Van Dijk, followed by the Virgil Van Dijk where you grew up
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Just baked my very first peasant insurgence cake. Have to say, it's very maoist
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Got an interview with TRESemmé tomorrow. They must have liked my hmm hmm hmm resumé hmm hmm hmm
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
As his name would suggest, Charles Rennie Mackintosh invented cocaine, antacid tablets AND raincoats
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
It was Phil Oakey’s sister Carrie who invented the interactive entertainment system where people sing to a backing track. She called it the Singalonga3000
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Yaas!
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Wonderful news - the deaf leopard that Def Leppard were named after has FINALLY had a cochlear implant fitted. 56 year old Sushma just heard a river flowing for the first time
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I never believed in the grammar school system. Go to a normal school. If you still want to do grammar, apply to a further punctuation college
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Keith Harris & Orville DESPISED each other in the latter years. They had to record Orville's Song in different studios from each other
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
56 years since they formed & Aerosmith have yet to make a SINGLE Aero
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Don't say you're naked. Say you're "wearing your nonesie"
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I have a more basic model of the Samsung Galaxy called the Samsaid Twix
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
A global disaster was narrowly averted yesterday. An asteroid waa heading DIRECTLY towards the scissor factory. They managed to assemble the world's largest sheet of paper to encase it
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Why are some pubs called 'theme pubs'? Surely all pubs are theme pubs? Unless you walk into The Red Lion expecting to meet a red lion
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
A disco can go one of two ways. Either discovery or discontent.
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Andi Peters is not his real name. He’s called that because he gets quieter towards the end of his sentences
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Selling some of my childhood toys... an 'Eagle Eyes' Action Man, & the limited edition pro-gay rights 'Legalise' Action Man.
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
My momma said "you can't hurry love". Sorry - it was risotto. My momma said "you can't hurry risotto"
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Before she became Madonna, Madonna was a right pre-Madonna
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
I never understood why Vanilla Ice's DJ had a revolving hook. Was it supposed to hang doner meat?
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Massive brawl in a Paris nightclub last night. All started with Simon Le Bon & Lionel Richie arguing over which was easier - a Sunday morning or a nuclear war
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Today I misread “vaginoplasty” as “vaginapasty”. I then had a VERY interesting phone call to the marketing department at Greggs
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
10pm: “Let’s make these coffees Irish” 3am: “Let’s make these cocktails Molotov”
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
I firmly believe there is a bullet with my name on it. To counter this, I have embroidered my name on 3000 Kevlar vests
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Jason & The Argonauts: Jason, regional manager of Argos in Chelmsford, takes 99 employees with him to search for the elusive Golden Fleece (Item 314/4240)
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
When I first met my wife I told her "I want to make you mine". And now, 20 years later, she's finally started a job as a tin-miner
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Love Really Hurts Without You is probably my favourite song that's specifically about KY jelly
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
I'm the curator at the National Snooker Museum. I generally rate the cues from one to ten
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Heston Blumenthal wants to deep fry Jupiter... but can he build a deep fat fryer big enough? That's "Heston's Planetary Snacks", Ch4, 9pm
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
The world's first googolplex has opened in Kuala Lumpur. That's a LOT of cinema screens. And it has 5,000,000,000,000 Frankie & Benny's.
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
The joint appearance of Bonnie Tyler & Shakin' Stevens on Top of the Pops remains to this day the only occurrence of quadruple denim
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
That lump that women have in their neck is called an "Eve's Pudding"
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Sanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Wonderful times with wonderful people. And what a gorgeous thing to be involved with…
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