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Sarah Dempster

@dempster2000.bsky.social
13K followers 364 following 2.9K posts

Writer of nonsenses for “the wireless”, contributor to Private Eye & the Guardian. I like books.

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Reposted by Sarah Dempster
Ryan CrawCour @ryan.crawcour.social · 14h
BREAKING NEWS: Tensions between Thor and the Care Bears have escalated rapidly overnight.
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Sarah Dempster @dempster2000.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I’ve reviewed new ITV maverick pathologist drama “Winter”.
theguardian.com
Winter review – Richard Armitage’s new cop drama is as ferociously watchable as it is daft
Sometimes you want prestige drama that roils with nuance and complexity. And sometimes you want Armitage shouting in a cagoule
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Sarah Dempster @dempster2000.bsky.social · 20h
Not my words, Carol.
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Sarah Dempster @dempster2000.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I’ve reviewed new ITV maverick pathologist drama “Winter”.
theguardian.com
Winter review – Richard Armitage’s new cop drama is as ferociously watchable as it is daft
Sometimes you want prestige drama that roils with nuance and complexity. And sometimes you want Armitage shouting in a cagoule
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Beefcake Dad @jeffsreturn.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Googling Tony Blair Arms Deal to find out what the deal is with those arms
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@Julianshea.bsky.social @julianshea.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
'Have you got a copy of Fly Tipping by RAF Fairford? You do? Oh that's wonderful. My name? Fairford. RAF Fairford.'
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Sarah Dempster @dempster2000.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Jeff McEnroe must condemn.
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Sarah Dempster @dempster2000.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
A wonderful piece on a wonderful series.
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Ryan @ryanwright.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
This is how I remember the order of Henry VIII’s wives.
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Rose Schmits @roseschmits.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Letsss goooo
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Holly Brockwell @hollyqueenofspayeds.com · 26/09/2026
Every time I try to talk about deaf cats, my phone corrects it to "dead." It's getting quite awkward. "Have you got any dead cats that need a home?" "Would you consider adopting a dead cat?" "He can't live with kids, he's dead"
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Pierre Novellie @pierrenovellie.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Spring tour is on sale now! www.pierrenovellie.com for ticket links
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Seth Masket @smotus.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Interviewing the inventor of napalm about his hats
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Dave Vetter @davidrvetter.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Happy Kicked In The Head By A Horse Day, to all who celebrate. It's the 7th anniversary of this absolute banger.
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Sarah Dempster @dempster2000.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Oh look, it’s hilarious Patrick Freyne being hilarious *again*. Tsk.
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Adam Macqueen @adammacqueen.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Hobbe's Folly, my new ghost story to be published by @swiftpress.bsky.social in exactly two weeks' time, is going down well with the critics. "Very comfortable" - Pickle the cat
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Sarah Dempster @dempster2000.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a Wispa.
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Sarah Dempster @dempster2000.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I respect our British culture. DO YOU?
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Scarred For Life Books @scarredforlife.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
The first episode of WORZEL GUMMIDGE (1979) sees the loveable scarecrow come alive for the first time, and it's directed like a scene from an Italian zombie film. Lucio Fulci would approve!
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James Alistair Henry @jamesbluecat.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Daughter just had the classic British train experience of hearing the announcer make a long statement, of which the only discernible words were 'wartime bomb'.
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Sarah Dempster @dempster2000.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Headmaster conducted a relentlessly bleak assembly on the topic of “the future” while wearing roller skates. There was no reference to roller skates in his lecture.
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Liam Connolly @connolly-lg.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
I want my country back. By that, I mean a country where I would be confident that a thug who livestreamed himself stabbing an RNLI dingy on an active operation would a) Be universally condemned b) Be swiftly arrested, put on trial and if found guilty, face many years in jail. I miss that country.
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Matt Owen @mjowen174.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
I am a writer of the words & sentences (some funny). I’ve done most things: written gags, speeches, scripts, TV ads - if you require such an individual, then I am that person. Website (here) www.mathew-owen.co.uk any RTs (or whatever they’re called on here) gratefully received. Cheers👍👍
mathew-owen.co.uk
Mathew Owen | Speech Writer | Manchester
Bespoke wedding speeches from a professional comedy writer.
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Postcard From The Past @pastpostcard.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Well, let's get the bad news over first. Got a parking fine in Aberdeen yesterday.
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Joel Morris @gralefrit.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
New course! Starts October 18th. Sign up at: www.gralefrit.co.uk
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Peter Walker @peterwalker99.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I’m at the Lib Dem conference and, as ever, that’s Christmas sorted.
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St. Scandalbags @alfaguru.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
More significant trivia is it's one of the few films to mention Barnstaple.
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Sarah Dempster @dempster2000.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
I put it to you that while it may very well be “of its time” and “an experiment in polymorphic perversity” this film really is the most insufferable horseshit.
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Ray Newman @raynewman.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
A fun, affordable hobby is: 1. Turning up in random well-to-do Cotswold villages wearing a hi-vis vest with a picture of a wind turbine on it, and a hard hat. 2. Taking measurements of the village green and any other open space, and enthusiastically writing notes on a clipboard.
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rob @ok-but-still.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
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Tom Cox @dj-acid-reflux.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
What I want is a TV documentary channel entirely devoted to documentaries with no quick-cut montages of everything about to happen, which don't give a fuck about keeping my attention, presented by extremely knowledgeable people in a terrible mood who have no interest in trying to make me like them
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David Quantick @quantick.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
A reminder that I and many other authors are doing this tomorrow in Hastings: www.hastingsbookfest.org/events/david...
hastingsbookfest.org
David Quantick | Hastings Book Fest
Local Heroes
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Sarah Dempster @dempster2000.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I’ve written about the terrible return of the terrible MobLand
theguardian.com
MobLand season two review – why is Pierce Brosnan’s tedious crime drama so obsessed with testicle jokes?
This Guy-Ritchie-directed gangland drama is deathly dull. It’s a charm-free watch with awful characters and humour so genital-based that at one point Helen Mirren yells a penis joke at a sausage
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Sarah Dempster @dempster2000.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I’ve written about the terrible return of the terrible MobLand
theguardian.com
MobLand season two review – why is Pierce Brosnan’s tedious crime drama so obsessed with testicle jokes?
This Guy-Ritchie-directed gangland drama is deathly dull. It’s a charm-free watch with awful characters and humour so genital-based that at one point Helen Mirren yells a penis joke at a sausage
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John Oxley @joxley.jmoxley.co.uk · 18/09/2026
What on earth is happening?
  This had become the new normal. RNLI crew members had been forced to take their permits off their cars after their tyres have been repeatedly slashed. Most of them have been pilloried at the school gates or turned away from local pubs. One man who worked in search and rescue had been beaten unconscious and hospitalised, recognised for TV interviews he had done.
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skizelo @skizelo.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
The film that asks "What if there was a bastard?"
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Sarah Dempster @dempster2000.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Hell of a film.
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Ron Filipkowski @ronfilipkowski.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Time for some positive news …
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Ian Martin @ianmartin.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Richard did a bespoke crossword for my missus and let me tell you, it was two or three days of deciphered cleverness. Huge, huge recommend.
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Angus Dunican @angusdunican.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
What a truly excellent series of acting choices this fifty seconds of television presents…
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Joel Morris @gralefrit.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Still annoyed that the 2006 Thing prequel wasn’t called “And Another Thing.”
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Sarah Dempster @dempster2000.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Look at her! Pure joy. x
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MꙬse Allain @mooseallain.bsky.social · 09/09/2025
I hope this ishmael finds you whale
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Sarah Dempster @dempster2000.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
“Pissport to Piddington”
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Sarah Dempster @dempster2000.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
“Piddington”
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Twlldun @twlldun.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Good luck receiving your pensions and getting the bins collected, fuckos
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Mr. Joshua @pantspants.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Ballpoint pen on paper. A man in his PJs is tucked into his bed. He's upset because the bed has been lifted off the ground by a pack of small, mischievous creatures. We can only see 9 of them in the image but there are likely many more since they're all working together to lift the heavy bed frame. As the creatures run with the bed they chant, "hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup." The man in the bed wants no part of this. "Put me down. No more hups," he says. It's unclear where they are going or what is happening. There is no punchline. There is little to no context. You're either with the hup team or you're out. Thank you for reading these.
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Sarah Dempster @dempster2000.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
More things I was frightened of as a child: *London *The animations in Monty Python *”Stranger Danger” *Flushing the toilet at night *The photos of Pluckley in Usborne’s World of The Unknown: Ghosts *The covers of the horror videos in the corner shop *My parents’ bedroom *Semolina *Punks
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Sarah Dempster @dempster2000.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Things I was frightened of as a child: *Nosebleeds *Parties *Being murdered *Daddy longlegs *Electrical substations *Vomit/vomiting *Bullies *The theme to Near and Far *Balloons *Dogs *Extroverts
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