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smillz

@righttwix.com

1K followers 131 following 1.2K posts

unpaid professional time waster clocking in. @lefttwix.com ♥︎ daily slop → bsky.app/profile/did:plc:cfyb5lvlik… cream of the crop → bsky.app/profile/did:plc:cfyb5lvlik…

Posts Replies Media

smillz @righttwix.com · 4h

neither did the flyers boom just like that

smillz @righttwix.com · 4h

hold on let me get my popcorn

smillz @righttwix.com · 4h

in most hockey circles it is expected to really kick a fan when they’re down it’s actually a sign of respect

smillz @righttwix.com · 4h

distraction would be good flyers got mopped

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alexis simpson @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 5h

30-40 year old cowboys are Milleniy'alls

smillz @righttwix.com · 4h

you can cut the tension with a spork

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Frances Meh @francesmeh.reviews · 5h

this place is getting more and more heightened as november approaches. like it's not just me, there's been a noticeable anxiety inflection in the last couple weeks right?

smillz @righttwix.com · 4h

gas prices up consumer goods up for the holidays the entire us does christmas on credit talking heads in january “record spending over christmas corporate profits at all time high the us economy is booming” - shitpostradamus

smillz @righttwix.com · 4h

mfer forgot the phrase “i gotta pee” and said “i gotta go empty my pants”

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Travis comma bitch @prof-hinkley.bsky.social · 17h

you grow up thinking milk is either good or bad, but then you become a parent and find out there’s a third state called "it’ll taste fine in cereal, hurry up we’re late for school"

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alexis simpson @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 13h

inventing turkey milk

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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 15h

A semicolon is just a regular colon that needs a fluffer

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sophia ♥️🎂 @sophamir.bsky.social · 11h

should I watch american horror story

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HL @haitchel.bsky.social · 14h

Finally watching the backrooms and damn it is an absolute mess

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 17h

i never correct people when they say i’m aloof bc that sounds much cooler than clueless

smillz @righttwix.com · 5h

no good that best bin it off then

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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊 @professorkiosk.wtf · 8h

people forget lmao means laughing my arse off in british english

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✧𝔪𝔲𝔡 𝔰𝔠𝔞𝔪𝔭✧ @altaudge.bsky.social · 17h

today is a great day to kick some dick

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Jerry Chen @jcsalterego.bsky.social · 6h

thank goodness it's fryday

freshly fried fries under paper towels in a stainless steel mixing bowl

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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 6h

There should be a Recycle Bin for when you delete a post accidentally

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Evie Nyx @evienyx7.bsky.social · 9h

The feminine urge to travel back in time just to give a T-Rex a high five

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futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 6h

ME (not a fool): i think the baby is asleep, i’ll put her down now BABY: you fool ME (a fool): ah beans

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futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 14h

my baby has started to respond to questions with an adorable little “ya” and to test it i asked are you a stinker and she said “the fuck did you say to me”? so proud of her

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✧𝔪𝔲𝔡 𝔰𝔠𝔞𝔪𝔭✧ @altaudge.bsky.social · 6h

sorry if i annoyed you with my existence, it’s likely to happen again

smillz @righttwix.com · 5h

extra thick coffee is my favorite thing about autumn

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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 5h

as i walk through the hidden valley of the shadow of ranch

smillz @righttwix.com · 5h

all in favor say ay!

000

smillz @righttwix.com · 8h

that roster spot has been open since john wayne gacy was executed

200

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sophia ♥️🎂 @sophamir.bsky.social · 8h

we need a ramsey bolton of the left

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👻 L.T. Vargus, disgraced author👻 @ltvargus.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

Mayonnaise is just lotion for your sandwich

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Jason the Average ®️ 💛🤍💜🖤 @jasontheaverage.bsky.social · 8h

Whenever I see a couple with a shared Facebook account, I wonder what he did.

smillz @righttwix.com · 8h

we all know what he did

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strange ranger @lithiumsucks.bsky.social · 14h

The first rule of mental illness club is login to Bluesky.

smillz @righttwix.com · 8h

i’m all about getting bent

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Greg Reckons @gregreckons.bsky.social · 19h

I enjoy long walks off short piers and dropping dead. You?

smillz @righttwix.com · 8h

if you need help getting some numbers up on this one lmk I have over 1k followers now no big deal

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trickykat @trickykat.bsky.social · 11h

flaring my nostrils because i’m having a good nose hair day

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Misery Highlight @miseryhighlight.bsky.social · 12h

Radically accepting that everything is lava

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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 10h

Came across ppl here I know irl... gross. Anywho new pfp, who dis

smillz @righttwix.com · 8h

the flavor department is still there kinda but now spirit Halloween is too

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futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 12h

spirit halloween has moved into the flavor department of the la croix factory

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key @lefttwix.com · 12h

how it feels reposting posts that are doing bad

the cue card guy from shrek with a sheepish look on his face while holding a blue and white sign that reads “laugh”. theres a hooded henchman behind him

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key @lefttwix.com · 15h

bro would you even kidnap the sandy claws with me?

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futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 17h

most mimes stick to the following code:

smillz @righttwix.com · 16h

ㅤ

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Misery Highlight @miseryhighlight.bsky.social · 17h

Plants teach you about you, if you’re listening.

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 19h

You don’t need a data center to make spaghetti

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I invited my next door neighbors over to play connect four. They just looked at me funny and went inside.

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KnewNic🖕🏼🧊 @knewagirlnic.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

My flabber just doesn’t gast like it used to

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 18h

me: let’s turn this haunted house into a haunted home ghost: umm sorry, but i have girlfriend haunting in another house — you don’t know her