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Fleetwood Mat

@mattbots.bsky.social
75 followers 99 following 60 posts

reality->twitter->threads/insta->bluesky. sf->la

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Reposted by Fleetwood Mat
Avery Edison @averyedison.com · 05/07/2023
I wrote “I am alive” on a piece of paper, and placed it into a photocopier. What I saw next has shocking implications
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Fleetwood Mat @mattbots.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
@uzmab.bsky.social happy birthday
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Fleetwood Mat @mattbots.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
i grieve in stereo
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Six Dettmar @sixdettmar.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I’M AT THE URGENT CARE I’M AT THE TACO BELL I’M AT THE COMBINATION URGENT CARE AND TACO BELL
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Mikel Reparaz @wikiparaz.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
PAUL: What’s in the box? REVEREND MOTHER: Pain. [PAUL hesitantly puts his hand in the BOX, then FROWNS IN CONFUSION. He pulls out A BAGUETTE.] REVEREND MOHER: Hōn hōn,
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
ON SALE THIS WEEK: - Jimmy Eat Wood - Parafloor - My Chemical Remnants - Floor Out Boy - The Promise Rug - Floorboard Confessional
“EMO FLOORING” shop
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It's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
So far the most impressive thing any billionaire ever created is an ex-wife
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ex-Lethality Jane @lethalityjane.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
When Amadeus first transferred from London to Broadway in 1980 the Broadway production starred Tim Curry as Mozart and Ian McKellen as Salieri and I would like to go back in time and watch that.
Tim Curry and Ian McKellen in Amadeus.
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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
[sighing to my wife at the table of a nice restaurant] No no no, milkshake ducks are just for racism. if you're complaining about fascists or homophobes, that's a drone metal orthodox priest guitarist. You don't think it makes a difference, but I'm saying it does. I am not raising my voice.
Drone Metal Orthodox Priest Guitarist Responds to Fascism, Homophobia Accusations
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Ricardo Autobahn @ricardoautobahn.co.uk · 26/08/2026
The best tribute to Dolly Parton is that she regularly and repeatedly refused to have anything to do with Piers Morgan
Piers Morgan

@piersmorgan

Follow

:

RIP Dolly Parton.

Never met her, never interviewed her (despite decades of unrequited requests) but thought she was utterly fabulous in every way.
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Microplastics Sommelier @leastactionhero.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
RIP to a legend
rob dubbin @robdubbin

MY MAN: (comes home)
ME: (nervous) how was the store
MY MAN: fine
ME: oh thank g-
MY MAN: ran into jolene
ME: oh no
MY MAN: she mentioned you left kind of an intense voicemail

12:50 AM • Jul 29, 2019
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Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Let me get this straight. Sometimes a famous person dies and everyone is nice about it? Merely because of their deeds during life?
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donni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Give a man a fish, and the two will team up to fight crime. Villains of the land and sea alike fear their powers
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Mary Gillis @marygillis.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
One bean to rule them all One bean to find them One bean to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
The One Bean Dietitians
Recommend for Brain, heart, and gut health.
The darker the bean, the deeper the benefits.
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Bishop Steiner @bishopsteiner.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
still one of the greatest conversations ever put on TV.
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Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 06/08/2023
daughter: daddy, who’s your favorite child? me: I don’t have a favorite. you all need to try a little harder
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Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 04/02/2024
cashier: did you find everything you were looking for? me: *gazing melancholically into the middle distance* I thought so, once
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Conor @ernekid.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
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Ramin Nasibov @nasibov.me · 17/07/2026
I’m so happy for them
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Dan of the Year @downwithdan.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
Dang they really got a category for everything
THR
The Hollywood Reporter *
@THR
Louis C.K. Wins Grammy for First Special Since Sexual Misconduct Allegations
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Jesse Hawken @jessehawken.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
How did so many Republicans get elected in 2020 if the entire election was interfered with by sinister forces... oh wait
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Elle @elleisanisland.bsky.social · 12/09/2025
All I saw was cheesecake boat and ocean for at least 5 minutes
Photo of a missing slice of cheesecake that looks like a cheesecake hull floating in a deep blue ocean. The "ocean" is actually the blueberry topping on the large cheesecake that we don't see completely.
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
How long can you hug the pizza delivery guy before it gets weird
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Jon Drake @jondrake.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Say what you want about Lindsey Graham,
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Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 22/11/2023
me: attention is neither “paid” nor “given,” and nobody else can “have” mine fire marshal: fine, shut the fuck up and listen to me then — you need to get out of the building
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Ryan Marino, MD @ryanmarino.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
Election results:
Everyone gets a Puppy: 49.9%
Diarrhea Forever: 50.1%
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Laura Knetzger @lauraknetzger.bsky.social · 13/02/2025
Hey guys meta announced a new policy where they send a killer to get you so be sure to go to settings>my account > killer> disable killer to turn that off
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Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
This thing where members of congress keep disappearing for months with health problems and no explanation is bad, but also how would anything be different if every member of congress was in a coma right now
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Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 06/08/2023
[bookstore] customer: can you tell me where the do it yourself section is? me: you are not off to a good start
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Rusty Foster @rusty.todayintabs.com · 06/07/2026
Thank god mitch mcconnell isn’t alive to see any of this
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Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 06/07/2026
Types of Tornado Alert xkcd.com/3267/
8-panel Comic. (1) Tornado Warning [tornado in the distance of a house] A tornado has been detected; take shelter (2) Tornado Watch [Person with bun talking to another person pointing at diagrams on screen] Conditions are favorable for tornadoes to form (3) Tornado precaution [person] Tornadoes happen sometimes, so be ready (4) Tornado Inkling [Person with hand on face] No tornadoes yet, but we have a feeling (5) Tornado Suspicion [Person looking up at clouds] Weird clouds have been observed (6) Tornado Premonition [Person looking at birds flying in tornado shape and two birds sitting on scythe-like structure with skull beneath] Tornado portents and omens have been observed (7) Tornado Recollection [Person with thought bubble containing tornado] Tornadoes have occurred in the past (8) Tornado Contemplation [Person sitting and saying, “Wow.”] Tornadoes are very big and powerful
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DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
haha, thats a great post. unfortunately you phrased it in a way that allowed me, a moron, to misunderstand it
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Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️ One milkshake to rule the boys, one milkshake to find them, one milkshake to bring the boys and in my yard to bind them 🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️
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Microplastics Sommelier @leastactionhero.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
how it feels to watch michael clayton
Tom Wilkinson in Michael Clayton (2007) surrounded by many many baguettes
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Juiceticles @juiceticles.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
One of these days, these Crocs are gonna walk all over you
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Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
America keeps trying to get me to go to her birthday party and I’m like no girl u need to go to the hospital
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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 23/02/2025
i'm so close to standing on the side of the road barefoot wearing a sandwich board that says the end is nigh, like i'm just looking for the right hat at this point
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
I like to challenge myself by trying something new every day. Today, I hijacked an ice cream truck
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Ray @sireviscerate.myatproto.social · 09/06/2023
I take off my blindfold. Before me is a gory tableau of death and destruction, bodies strewn across the landscape. The piñata is unscathed.
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 05/04/2025
And the Michelin Man removed the tire from his waist and gave it to them, saying, “Take this and drive; for this is my body.”
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James McLeod @jamespmcleod.ca · 06/11/2025
It's a small graphic design detail, but the loitering guy on TTC signage is actually in front of the red slash, casually leaning against it, making him look *unbelievably* cool.
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gamera obscura @ohrobin.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
This Danville, VA city council candidate made a very dramatic video about sidewalks and public safety, and I love it and him. Worrying about a possible milkshake duck situation, I looked at his FB page, but he seems ok. Juneteenth celebrations, community outreach, Methodists. A solid old gent.
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ContempraInn 🌹 @contemprainn.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
Tippy Toe Taps for Treats 😊
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slime and goop @snakeroot.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
What if god was built Ford tough Just a truck for hauling stuff
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Heather Anne Campbell @heathercampbell.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
can’t believe a narcissist is being so publicly humiliated by a reflecting pool
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Amy @lolennui.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
guy has a trillion dollars, 0 friends, and has never landed a joke. I know a pact with the devil when I see one.
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WeRateDogs @weratedogs.com · 24/06/2026
This is Lady and Piper. Lady really loves playing fetch. Maybe even enough for the two of them. 13/10 for both (TT: rachaelsteinle)
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
don’t want to be controversial but i only fry my beans once
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I 💙 Dogs @dogs100.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Such a good girl….
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Will Oremus @willoremus.com · 17/06/2026
I appreciate how people are conducting themselves here
First screenshot is a skeet by user HK: "Out on a run and came across a couple having a break up. The woman yelled that the guy cared more about “his YouTube videos” than her. Fully expected it to be some Andrew Tate shit until he sheepishly said “trains mean so much to me but you’ve never understood that”

Second screenshot is of the reply thread. Comments include: 

So sad when a relationship hits the buffers
sometimes things just go off the rails
Decoupling is the right choice here
that tracks
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