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Dave

@dboofman67.bsky.social
1.1K followers 446 following 2 posts

25, he/him

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Reposted by Dave
Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
Abraham Lincoln: they say that all men are created equal, but you look at me and you look at Robert E Lee and you can see that statement is not true. See, normally if you go four score with another wrestler, you got 7 years. But I'm a genetic freak and I'm not normal!
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Robocop (1987) @robocop1987.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
When people jerk me off, I kill them!
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Rural Indexing Project @ruralindexing.bsky.social · 17/05/2026
Royal Crown Cola West Terre Haute, IN
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For sale: Baby shoes. Never worn. (Baby is dead.) @leharrumph.bsky.social · 17/03/2026
It's objectively hilarious Jack Harlow made an R&B album and is now dressing exactly like Andy Samberg's character from "Threw It On The Ground."
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Marklandry @marklandry.bsky.social · 30/12/2025
The artist who recorded Songs From The Crystal Cave as a Na'vi
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soul nate @mnateshyamalan.bsky.social · 26/12/2025
me: [throwing open blinds] you there! boy! what day is it today? street urchin: why, it’s Christmas Day sir! me: oh, wonderful! that means it’s not too late for BOFA street urchin: what’s- shopkeeper: listen, kid. he does this every day
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Screamer Jim @screamerjim.bsky.social · 23/12/2025
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more mr. spice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 13/12/2025
Erika Kirk failing the Voight kampff test
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Corey Atad @coreyatad.com · 06/11/2025
best ending of all time, let's be real
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Mike Boylan-Kolchin @mbkplus.bsky.social · 05/11/2025
We'll never know for certain, but I for one feel confident that tonight would have turned out differently if Cuomo had had the courage and foresight to hire Brendel
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David_j_roth @davidjroth.bsky.social · 04/11/2025
Getting hit in the chest from point blank range with a footlong sub and an enormous Peckinpah-style squib of sweet onion teriyaki sauce explodes from my chest.
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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 22/10/2025
i understand that dr. zack isn’t for everybody and that if you’re a longtime football fan, you don’t get a lot out of his segments. but they’re a great way for casual fans and newcomers to learn football concepts like the alphabet
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ripcinema @ripcinema.bsky.social · 21/10/2025
rest assured, this will be the third time Tron has failed to become a franchise, and we've become exceedingly efficient at it
the architect of the matrix
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spooky cannoli @boner.ink · 20/10/2025
sling us some schlong your the penis man, sling us some schlong tonight, well, we're all in the mood for you sexually, and you've got our holes feeling right
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Martin John @martinjohn.bsky.social · 16/10/2025
This meme made me laugh.
A meme with a character from Watchmen whose name I can’t remember, saying:

It is 1982. I am one year old. Tron bombs at the box office
It is 2010. I am
twenty-nine years old.
Tron bombs at the box office
It is 2025. I am
fourty-four years old.
Tron bombs at the box office
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little lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social · 14/10/2025
Charlie Browns mom: Waaah wah wah wah waaah waaah waaah wah Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him
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skáld @danglinghemmie.bsky.social · 15/10/2025
living más in sam altman's masturbatorium
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Norm Charlatan @normcharlatan.bsky.social · 14/10/2025
Why should I change my name? He’s the one who sucks.
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Jac @dairyqueenslime.bsky.social · 07/10/2025
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Brian Floyd @brianmfloyd.bsky.social · 07/10/2025
the physics of this are so funny because the right guard stepping on his foot leads to him looking like uncle phil just threw him out the front door of the mansion
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rivers mccown @riversmccown.bsky.social · 07/10/2025
Trevor Lawrence picking his nose
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dr peppermint patty @jessespector.com · 07/10/2025
this is the face of a man who stopped masturbating thanks to kellogg’s corn flakes
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Sean T. Collins @seantcollins.com · 06/10/2025
CHATGPT: I understand where you're coming from. You worked really hard to get here, and now it's time to enjoy the fruit of your labors. ISILDUR: So I should keep it? Elrond says I shouldn't CHATGPT: The ring is precious. Sometimes friends don't have your best interests at heart. ISILDUR: true
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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 06/10/2025
So Hulk Hogan, why are you a great candidate for the Administrative Assistant position? Hulk Hogan:
An app icon of a printer/scanner combo and the app name "brother iPrint&Scan"
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Mina Kimes @minakimes.bsky.social · 06/10/2025
Rhamondre Leavensome Points Out There
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CJ Fogler @cjzero.bsky.social · 06/10/2025
Watch this Titans TD, TRUST ME. You cannot predict ball.
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Katie @katesofheaven.bsky.social · 06/10/2025
Tennessee Titans football
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Roxy @roxytall.bsky.social · 04/10/2025
You scored a touchdown On my ovaries They all called you a clown But I’m all over it (your cock) -Taylor Swift, The Life of a Showgirl
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dom nero @dominicknero.bsky.social · 24/09/2025
you take the blue pill, your baby is normal, gets an average brain, lives an unremarkable life. you take the red pill, and we see just how many episode titles of obscure 2000s television shows your child can recite from memory
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Blaise Boo-lysse Bernard Collins @wittywebhandle.bsky.social · 13/09/2025
Great news; Legacy Media Reporting and TheCybersmith posts are no longer distinguishable from one another.
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Bryan Fischer @bryandfischer.bsky.social · 12/09/2025
Ooof.
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Jacob Weindling @jakeweindling.bsky.social · 12/09/2025
Lowering the flags on 9/11 at the Guantanamo Bay McDonald's for Charlie Kirk is the most dril tweet thing that's ever happened
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more mr. spice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 12/09/2025
dan bongino and kash patel lying unconscious on the ground after bonking their heads together as they both bent down to examine what is later determined to be their own footprints
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Andrew Lawrence @ndrew.bsky.social · 08/09/2025
cam newton dresses like he drives a mechanical spider to work everyday
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Sickos Committee @sickoscommittee.org · 07/09/2025
Look at that time of possession.
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UFO Citybusters @iankumohara.bsky.social · 06/09/2025
Jodorowsky's Madea Goes to Jail
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Lyman Zerga @fredfred.bsky.social · 01/09/2025
And yet a trace of the true self resides in the false self
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your pal uly @uscocksman.bsky.social · 20/08/2025
is this anything
outtake from garfield's drunk paul masson wine commercial
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Nicolas Dream, PhD @afraidofwasps.bsky.social · 19/08/2025
(me, tiny dick, bragging to my friends) Bro she shallowthroated me last night !
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davy gravy @tveite.bsky.social · 14/08/2025
prue: "ok paul, tell us about this week's technical challenge" paul: "this week our bakers will be making one of my favorites, the merovingian's orgasm cake from the matrix reloaded. two things i'll be looking at: the consistency of the sponge, and whether or not it makes me cum"
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Sickos Committee @sickoscommittee.org · 03/08/2025
Please listen all the way through this clip, because you have to hear the ref’s accent.
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Dave @dboofman67.bsky.social · 15/07/2025
It’s Western Kentucky’s Big Red!
WKU’s mascot Big Red standing menacingly in a cornfield.
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Beccas can't be choosers @beccanical.bsky.social · 26/06/2025
i think, unfortunately, that this may be my masterpiece
An edit of the "Yes... ha ha ha... YES!" sickos meme to replace the sicko with Cathy (from the syndicated newspaper comics) saying "Ack... ha ha ha... ACK!" with an expression of distress on her face. Her shirt also now reads "Ackos"
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more mr. spice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 13/06/2025
i think it's good that today's bleeding edge tech exists mainly as a threat and i'm excited about starving to death in a gleaming utopia while my lamp and coffee table cheerfully lie to one another and my fridge tries once again to order milk from a Dairy Queen that closed in 2021
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josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 08/06/2025
(proudly showing my date a pencil mark on the wall - the mark is clearly several inches taller than me) that's how tall i am
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more mr. spice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 07/06/2025
Stacy Keach as Not Hans Gruber, clearly having the time of his life: remember the Alamo, Tex? ha ha HA (cocks pistol) well go 'head n call me Santa Anna Jean-Claude Van Damme as Johnny "Tex" Winchester: aven't you eard (producing much larger pistol) heveryting spiggerin texis. hyee aw
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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 05/06/2025
[struggling to rise above crosstalk between the other candidates] i’m jon. i don’t want to be the mayor. i want to make sports videos. I don’t want to be the mayor
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It's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 02/06/2025
Just saw your text from last night. Are you still defusing the bomb
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