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Davidly Roth 🎉

@lazurwoolf.bsky.social
5.3K followers 581 following 1.2K posts

Love will win and in the meantime there is whiskey. I’m a fuckin idiot bsky.app/profile/did:plc:eqabl4kvjc…

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Reposted by Davidly Roth 🎉
Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 18/12/2024
The sounds of broken bodies striking the earth intensify. Brief screams of agony fill the night, blending together in an unrelenting chorus of the macabre. Windshields shatter. Roofs collapse. Streets run crimson as rivers of blood rush into overflowing sewers. It’s raining men.
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Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I wouldn’t eat that if I were you. - me, serving dinner.
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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
[science lab] SCIENCE TEACHER: is everything ok ME: it will be in a minute TEACHER: what do you ok ME: ok OK: ok ok ok OK: ok ok OK: ok ok ok ok ok
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Davoid (extra screams) @davoid.bsky.social · 24/08/2025
Me: I’d like to solve the puzzle Pat Sajak: Go ahead Me: I didn’t say I could
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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 02/06/2025
*takes off jorts to reveal even sassier jorts
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Paranormal Pandy 🎃 @thatbrenna.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Everything can go in a crockpot. Put your entire fridge in there. Not like wussy air fryers
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Roxy @laboxalaroxa.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Good intentions, terrible delivery.
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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Client: I wear multiple hats around here Me: I have three pairs of pants
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Blair Spookily @blairloudly.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
enter your fav weird/unhinged or simply nonsense skeets by following the quoted below! contest runs until 9pm PST tonight and the judges (in comments) will trophy their fav overnight!
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Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
there's an alternate timeline where shorts are called pants and pants are called longs
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Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
WE RANKED THE TEN MOST UNHINGED THINGS TO DO TO A CHILI DOG OUTSIDE A TASTEE-FREEZ (YOU WONT BELIEVE NUMBER 1 😱)
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al-boo @captainacabairbud.myatproto.social · 30/09/2026
he was a boy. he was back in town. can i make it any more obvious?
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Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
don't worry about how i know this, but it's better to puncture the tube with a fork 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 you microwave the gogurt
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Davidly Roth 🎉 @lazurwoolf.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
if there’s one thing Aerosmith’s livin’ on the edge video taught me, it’s that condoms are pshhht
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Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
if your skeleton was made of hard candy, chances are you'd probably not even know about it.
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Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
skeeting is for the people
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Davidly Roth 🎉 @lazurwoolf.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
i wonder what Pete’s up to these days
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Jerry Chen @jcsalterego.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, oh god that's 90 billion megatons of TNT all civilization is wiped out earth plunges into fiery inferno and then utter darkness
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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
They should put a little piece of candy under the plastic push-up part that falls off when you're out of deodorant
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J¡m Vaughn @jiminyspigot.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Goooood morning, Bluesky! Today's episode is brought to you by Omaha Steaks. Go ahead, eat them with ketchup. Nothing matters anymore.
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Davidly Roth 🎉 @lazurwoolf.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
same
Screenshot from YouTube of the band grizzly bear walking down a street doing the best barber shop you’ve ever heard but actually from the knife (girl talk remix) video, which is the exact same amount of good. Below that, the top comment is “been in a committed relationship with this song for over a decade”
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Kalvin the Reindeer @kalvinmacleod.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
PETER GABRIEL: shock the monkey ZOOKEEPER: absolutely not
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
She was rare, like a goth snorkeling.
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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 12/09/2026
Still have not found a job but had a big minesweeper breakthrough today
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Dak @dak.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
Restaurants need to stop with the QR code menus. I came here for a meal, not to day trade crypto.
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[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Tonight you’re mine completely But leave my tree fort discreetly 🎶
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
rotisserie chickenmaxxing
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Davidly Roth 🎉 @lazurwoolf.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Pile Buddies: 2 Cool 2 Drool
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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Where will I go now, as a dogpile fetishist?
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gwen 🌶️👹 @gwenpepperoni.myatproto.social · 02/09/2026
gatherings of more than 3 people who agree on something are now prohibited on bluesky
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Cosmos Lionheart @cosmoslionheart.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
guy who wakes up every morning and immediately starts trying to think of the safest way to post online that we should just kill all the wealthy already
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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
All I want for Christmas is a medically induced coma.
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Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
therefore, send not to know for whom the bell tolls, you're so vain i'll bet you think it tolls for thee don't you don't you
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Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
citizen number 342,600,001 would make a beautiful name for a human child
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Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
THIS JUST IN: bluesky mods hate puppies
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(spoo)key @lefttwix.com · 27/08/2026
the two wolves inside me saw you from across the bar and they were wondering if you wanted to try and make them howl
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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 27/08/2026
Fine, I condemn Bong Bong the Clown. I find his japes perfunctory. His balloon animals strike me as vulgar. The bursts of laughter he evokes from children ring hollow to my ears. Now can we please get this city council meeting back on track
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Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
if I had a nickel for every shopping cart i've ridden home from aldi i'd still be 40 cents in the red
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Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
i bet it feels so affirming for the rice krispies when a motherfucker really listens to what they've got to say
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Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
• 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐱: 𝐛𝐚- (meaning "𝘣𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦") • 𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐭: 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐤- (meaning "𝘨𝘺𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘶𝘱 𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘶𝘢𝘭", "𝘥𝘶𝘮𝘱 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳", or "𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘬𝘦") • 𝐒𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐱: -𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐤 (a noun-forming suffix meaning "𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘺𝘢𝘵𝘵/𝘥𝘶𝘮𝘱 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘤𝘬/𝘤𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘰𝘧") [1] [2]
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Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
SPOUSE: reasonable request PROTAGONIST: malicious compliance or lack of understanding segueing into cringy non sequitur or pun SPOUSE: exasperated reply
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Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
wisconsin drivers are legally obligated to shit talk anyone they see on the road with illinois plates. it's not personal. we get sent to jail if we don't do it
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dan mentos @danmentos.com · 04/05/2024
"it's always monday somewhere" I say as I pull up a spreadsheet on a friday night
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Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
if you live in a reasonably constructed house, you can really just go ham with the stone throwing
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Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
thinking about throwing a dinner party with a cuck chair where one randomly selected guest doesn't get to eat. don't forget to smash that follow button for more 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕤 and 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥
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Davidly Roth 🎉 @lazurwoolf.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
extended cut Brazil is a christmas movie
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Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
look, we can be amok without all that running
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Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 21/05/2026
The Property Brothers is much more engaging once you realize you're just watching one dude caught in a time loop
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i can be your long lost pal @pallavi.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
ever since i was a child i knew i just needed five more minutes
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