Reposted by 🥃Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 04/12/2025If your date is more than 30 minutes late, you’re allowed to start having sex without them. I don’t care if it’s a lunch date. Those are the rules. 28027
Reposted by 🥃Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 03/12/2025You can learn a lot about a person just by whether they have their phone muted or not. 1114770
Reposted by 🥃Georgia the Explorer 🇨🇦 @georgiatheexplorer.bsky.social · 03/12/2025I poured you a mug of tuna juice, please respond 88332
Reposted by 🥃g.c. @lscrapl.bsky.social · 04/12/2025it's almost like they know what settings you need and just refuse to give them to you 02311
Reposted by 🥃Muffin Top Momma 🍪 @muffintopmomma.bsky.social · 04/12/2025Fucking Thursdays As bad as Tuesdays Worse Maybe 1186
Reposted by 🥃Bogey @oneyebogey.bsky.social · 04/12/2025Sore and physically weak, I was concerned I wasn’t recovering from my injury. (it’s important to drink water👀) 88837
Reposted by 🥃sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 04/12/2025i’m starting to think that if i allowed it our cat would weigh 3000 lbs 911718
Reposted by 🥃Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 04/12/2025Humor is an awesome coping mechanism for anger, anxiety & depression . . . This is why I try to make myself laugh. 812265
Reposted by 🥃Frostbitten Flamingo @flemtheparrot.bsky.social · 04/12/2025The chances are there. Two and two, waiting to be put together. 2114
Reposted by 🥃WintersDaemom @imwintersmom.bsky.social · 04/12/2025my electric blanket this year is just me lighting my pubes on fire 136819
Reposted by 🥃Veruca's Alt @verucas-alt.bsky.social · 04/12/2025Rolling into the cardiologist office with a vape in my bra, in case you were wondering if I'm into health and wellness. 6598
Reposted by 🥃Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 04/12/2025THERAPIST: Remember, the marbles aren't love. HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPO: I guess I never really thought about it that way... 07012
Reposted by 🥃👻 Crujería 🦇 @carnitas.bsky.social · 04/12/2025if you’re reading this, your shitposts are straight up art, bro 45014
Reposted by 🥃Reverie @augustreverie.bsky.social · 12/11/2025seductively sampling several salamis 89630
Reposted by 🥃Lizzlepants 🐒 @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 10/09/2025finna sew a bunch of labubus together to make an ugly sweater for the Xmas party this year 77932
Reposted by 🥃T @mamafirefly.bsky.social · 04/12/2025thank goodness for texting *every socially awkward person 16127
Reposted by 🥃Bogey @oneyebogey.bsky.social · 26/09/2025I am what I had to be, but I’m trying to be more. 517999
Reposted by 🥃GoneRogue @gonerogue.bsky.social · 27/09/2025It's not the size of your account, it's how you use it 173
Reposted by 🥃Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 14/09/2025I know this may come as a big shock but I've never put a second thought into any of my posts. 1018776
Reposted by 🥃Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 14/09/2025I may not be able to give you the moon, but I’ll make you a BLT and I think that’s better anyway 78027
Reposted by 🥃Sassyteach24 @sassyteach24.bsky.social · 14/09/2025The breath on your neck that lets you know your effect on them. 12910
Reposted by 🥃GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 15/09/2025I’ll only pull the thread that leads me to you. 12713
Reposted by 🥃🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 15/09/2025Typo during sexting like, "I want your hot jazz all over my tots." 209623
Reposted by 🥃blondii✌🏼 @savageblondii.bsky.social · 15/09/2025if you can’t handle me at my worst don’t text me at all actually 111842
Reposted by 🥃Queen RanDumb @invisihole.bsky.social · 16/09/2025I left my palm prints on the outside of your bedroom window. Please respond. 3013431
Reposted by 🥃Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 12/09/2025Sure, sex is great, but have you ever smelled a thunderstorm in the desert? 1314332
Reposted by 🥃Wilbur72 @wilboo72.bsky.social · 11/09/2025“That is LIT!!” Me, pointing at a candle 14617
Reposted by 🥃Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 11/09/2025It's with a heavy sigh that I follow you back. 14337113
Reposted by 🥃Bigthinkingcap @bigthinkingcap.bsky.social · 06/09/2025Listen… I too am an undercover informant working to dismantle the U.S.A., by infiltrating the cult of shit-posters on Bluesky My opp name is Bait McMuff Ssh don’t tell anyone .. want a cookie 59939
