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chaosbrain.bsky.social

@chaosbrain.bsky.social
6 followers 64 following 17 posts
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🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 15/02/2025
life is easy you just endure pain for all of it and never understand why
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David Marshall @illdave.bsky.social · 23/01/2025
You've just been thrown to your death by the Beatles.
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eve6 @eve6.bsky.social · 20/01/2025
A thing that i believe about myself is that I'm the perfect amount of woke. If you're less woke than me you need to fix your heart and if you're more woke than me your friends and neighbors probably find you a little fatiguing
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I had a pony! @meghancolleen.bsky.social · 21/01/2025
What I have learned by consuming endless amounts of true crime content is that no matter what you say on that 911 call you’re gonna sound like you did it
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 21/01/2025
my whole mantra for the last two months has been "It Will Be Worse Than You Think But Not In The Way That You Think". Put it on a decorative pillow
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Joe Berkowitz @joeberkowitz.bsky.social · 20/01/2025
So yeah, it’s real bad. Just remember: 1) they’re going to fuck it up 2) but not all of it 3) do what you can when you can 4) do nothing when you need to 5) posting is not doing something
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Elle @elleisanisland.bsky.social · 20/01/2025
pretty crummy day to be a person with thoughts and/or emotions
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chaosbrain.bsky.social @chaosbrain.bsky.social · 09/01/2025
There are so many smart reasons that people should NOT get a parrot. It just doesn't feel like they apply TO ME.
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Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 15/12/2024
90s Nostalgia Doctor. A doctor points to a CE scan and says I'm sorry Mr. Kkowalski, but you have a brain tumor." He solemnly winces "she's lump." He dispassionately explains "she's lump..." He points to Mr. Kowalski's forehead and says "she's in your head..."
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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 11/12/2024
[petting dog] Awww who's a good boy? Are you a good boy? Are you even a boy? Are you just atoms held together by fragile consciousness? [dog runs into traffic]
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Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 15/05/2024
Oh I should let myself be vulnerable? Sounds like something my enemy would say
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BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 03/12/2024
Little known fact: no argument in history was ever resolved until the invention of Google. Before that, they just ended when everyone got tired.
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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 05/12/2024
You’re telling me if the entire McAllister family drank milk with their pizza but Fuller, the one drinking Pepsi, is the weirdo? I’m not buying it.
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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 02/12/2024
How do I convey my rakish nothing to lose attitude now that I don't smoke cigarettes? Is there a hat or accessory? Motorcycles are too dangerous. Toothpick?
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walruslifestyle @walruslifestyle.bsky.social · 03/12/2024
me: i'm not sure why i feel so bad. everything is mostly ok right now the humming orb of despair: *hums*
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Amy Vants to Suck Your Blood 🩸 @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 03/12/2024
what do you think it’s like to be dead I bet it’s super cozy and quiet and no one is mean to you ever not even your own brain sounds lovely tbh
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Roxi Horror 💀🌸 @roxiqt.com · 03/12/2024
If your partner is the reason you can't sleep at night and the reason you wake up in the morning, that's not a boyfriend or girlfriend. That's a family of squirrels living in your attic. Know the signs.
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 03/12/2024
Alexa, vanquish my foes
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chaosbrain.bsky.social @chaosbrain.bsky.social · 23/11/2024
There are currently 8 cats in my house and not one of them is snuggling with me. Like, sure you've been rejected by one cat before, BUT HAVE YOU BEEN REJECTED BY 8?!
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chaosbrain.bsky.social @chaosbrain.bsky.social · 20/11/2024
It just feels like everyone is going about their lives with dangerously little concern for WHATS TO BECOME OF ME!
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karanormal activity 💜 @deadontheoutside.bsky.social · 28/07/2023
what is wrong with me and how do I monetize it
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Nate @thenatewolf.bsky.social · 18/11/2024
“Hey, stud, you still making the hottest soups in town?” I crack my thermos and the steam immediately fogs their glasses up. There’s no doubt this soup will destroy their mouth if they aren’t careful. It is the danger that makes it sexual.
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lalalyds @lalalyds.bsky.social · 18/11/2024
You forget to eat? That's cute. I forget to breathe
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Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 08/12/2023
From now on my apartment is called “my lab.” This is my lab. I conduct my experiments here, I go insane here, I eat an English muffin here. This is my work. Magic happens in here, for example the English muffin
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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 18/11/2024
Sorry I didn't riff on your riff, I was feeling jocular when I posted but despondent seventy seconds later
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Lostcatdog @lostcatdog.bsky.social · 12/11/2024
Got an update from HR on changes coming to our 2025 health plan. Contraception and mammograms are canceled, but they’re expanding coverage for something called “podcaster’s malaise”
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Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD, BOFA @buckyisotope.bsky.social · 13/11/2024
ME: welcome home John Wick JOHN WICK: thanks roomie. How’s my tamagotchi? ME: *starts sweating profusely*
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chaosbrain.bsky.social @chaosbrain.bsky.social · 29/10/2024
But...what if im too tired to live intentionally tho.
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chaosbrain.bsky.social @chaosbrain.bsky.social · 23/10/2024
Just found out I do not, in fact, contain multitudes afterall. Please send thoughts and prayers.
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nattie winters @utilitylimb.bsky.social · 19/10/2024
in the early 2000s a web forum created a brand new income stream: letting users pay to change someone else’s avatar. sharks, i’m asking you for $10,000,000 to start Namely, the website where you can rename a stranger’s dog
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soul nate @mnateshyamalan.bsky.social · 19/10/2024
imagine being the CEO of spirit halloween. you only work a single month a year and you make 10 billion dollars. your only job is sell skeleton. life is good. and then some FUCKER from *Home Depot* says “let’s make one taller than god.”
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chaosbrain.bsky.social @chaosbrain.bsky.social · 23/09/2024
I just wanna save cats. But there are so many spreadsheets to do.
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chaosbrain.bsky.social @chaosbrain.bsky.social · 17/04/2024
My favorite kind of footage is footage that may just be key to solving a horrific crime.
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chaosbrain.bsky.social @chaosbrain.bsky.social · 26/02/2024
I want a big window and some trees and a yard and some permanency. But I can't have it. Maybe ever. And it's fine. Kind of. But it's sad.
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donni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 24/02/2024
Every day I swear I can’t take any more horrors, but then I learn about new horrors and take them as well
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Roxi Horror 💀🌸 @roxiqt.com · 07/01/2024
This might be a hot take but personally, I would like it if good things started happening again too.
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Roxi Horror 💀🌸 @roxiqt.com · 13/02/2024
The CDC says it's okay to abandon society & go live in the mountains with a family of raccoons
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 07/02/2024
Sorry I can’t solve your very real and concerning problem but I do have a Simpsons screengrab that is kind of applicable to the situation
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chaosbrain.bsky.social @chaosbrain.bsky.social · 30/01/2024
It's really hard to work really hard for a life you know you don't want.
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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 23/10/2023
I am not messy, what you see here is a series of meticulously planned obstacles for my friends and family to overcome for their own betterment
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