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Joe Berkowitz

@joeberkowitz.bsky.social
5.2K followers 531 following 2.5K posts

Writer. Not too annoying. Books: American Cheese, Away With Words, You Blew it. Bylines: Many of the good places.

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merritt @merrittk.com · 9h
we fucked up bigtime when the internet slipped from the utopian promise of being able to connect with ANYone into the hellscape of being connected to EVERYone
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Brandy Jensen @brandyjensen.bsky.social · 20h
Sarah Hagi writing about the Daily Wire movie 🚨
defector.com
Finally, A Shitty Movie Where Muslims Are The Bad Guys | Defector
I can’t think of a time in my life when the idea of a Muslim terrorist was not the most acceptable societal enemy. As someone who came of age in the wake of 9/11 and the invasions of both Iraq and Afg...
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Joe Berkowitz @joeberkowitz.bsky.social · 20h
"Computer, tell me what music I like."
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Ahhhhh @nerdjpg.com · 29/09/2026
Sorry I just need to take a few years to think about everything
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nick @unionnick.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
On the *same day* the Cornell Seven drugged and raped Jane Doe, Cornell banned four students (including the President of Cornell JVP) from campus for three years for nonviolent, pro-Palestine protests. The same Cornell officials let the rapists off with apology essays.
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Joe Berkowitz @joeberkowitz.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I can see how a normie dmv person might not have thought to flag this.
License plate that reads AGAPE2U
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I work at the newspaper and just wrote The Great Awokening is over, I’m both 79 and 12 years old and make 260,000 dollars a year from a man who sent Katy Perry into space on a rocket ship. As you can see, everyone else is the problem.
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huck mason @tylerhuckabee.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
bad news babe a rogue openai agent must have hacked our refrigerator last night and drank 15 beers
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Joe Berkowitz @joeberkowitz.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Dissociating politically by autumning out.
A man, woman and gorgeous black lab pose near a bunch of pumpkins at an apple orchard
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Joe Berkowitz @joeberkowitz.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Hard to overstate how it blew my mind as a child to find out a person’s legal name could be ‘Wolfgang’
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Jason Koebler @jasonkoebler.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
it’s forbidden content but i have watched this video of the AI songs a man made for his mistress after murdering his wife being played in court maybe 20 times today. It is one of the most compelling things i have ever seen
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Norm Charlatan @normcharlatan.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Banned from the New York Times website, because I sent an angry email about not being able to vote for the Grape Stomping video in the Best TV Shows of the 21st Century because apparently it's from 1998, even though that information is not listed anywhere on the ebaumsworld site.
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Joe Berkowitz @joeberkowitz.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I ordered Goodfellas online and the version that arrived has this hilariously bad cover art. Like, why is it autumnal?
Goodfellas blu ray featuring images of ray liotta walking behind De Niro, against the bright orange sunshine. Because it’s such a daytime-centric movie, of course.
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Kylie Eleison @gonebabygone.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I doubt this will be what makes the difference but I also know the connection that launches a career can come from anywhere so if you know a literary agent who might be into an LGBTQ mystery let me know
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Joe Berkowitz @joeberkowitz.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
"I'm not mad," he added. "Please don't put in the newspaper that I got mad."
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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
God, grant me the courage to change the things I can and incredible new powers to change the things I can't.
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Michael Lobel @mlobelart.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Another London dispatch: If any of you know any Broadway producers or investors, I am begging you to convince them to transfer "My Neighbor Totoro" to NYC when it closes in London in January. It is one of most enchanting, moving, heartwarming shows I've seen & I want audiences here to experience it🙏
Photo from London production of My Neighbor Totoro, with Satsuke & Totoro standing in the rain
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Joe Berkowitz @joeberkowitz.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Maybe let him spend a few years demonstrating his alleged regret before helping him publicize it???
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maundering yokel @nomic.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
you've got to assume an ethics expert is troubled almost all the time. although it would be pretty cool not to be. "the blasé ethicist"
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the beggars out of here getter @milesklee.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
malpractice story packaging in that the more pertinent details are: this guy is a bodybuilder promoter who killed his own son with a $100K divorce on wheels but is crowdfunding his funeral on a page that just says he was “accidentally struck by a moving vehicle” and they’re close to half that amount
latimes.com
Young boy killed after father backs Cybertruck into him, police say
A California man accidentally hit and killed his 6-year-old son while backing out of the family’s driveway near Temecula in a Tesla Cybertruck, according to police reports.
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Stella Sacco @antlervel.vet · 21/11/2025
MAMDANI: And I just think that there are barriers, barricades, to helping Americans that we can break down TRUMP: Uh huh MAMDANI: And breaking down barriers? Reminds me of a certain Broadway show *smiling widely* where they worked together to break a barricade? TRUMP: *sitting bolt upright* Phantom
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Nate Schenkkan @nateschenkkan.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
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Joe Berkowitz @joeberkowitz.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Not the Trump White House's legendary standards of professionalism and decorum!
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Joe Berkowitz @joeberkowitz.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Just realized on this King of Comedy rewatch the limo window separating Sandra Bernhard and De Niro in the opening credits is like a TV screen, and it telegraphs the ending.
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Joe Berkowitz @joeberkowitz.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Nobody wants to talk about it but Brad Pitt wears a tie with little basketballs going into hoops during *multiple scenes* throughout Se7en.
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Acting the Fulemin @actingthefulemin.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
there are 70 million people for whom this is the biggest song in the world. they watch comedies called like "Wives of Jim" that have run for nine seasons. they're usually pretty affable in person. in 2024 they severed the fate of humanity because of egg prices
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Richard Wells @slipperyjack.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
My mom (idly scrolling on her phone): "Hm, have you heard of this film, Lost Highway?" Me:
Mystery Man with a look of surprise.
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Norm Charlatan @normcharlatan.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
This kicks so much ass. Also, it makes my life as a parent so much easier.
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Gwen Marshall @drgwenmarshall.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
The Onion ran this amazing article and thought, I wanna play this! So I made it! 38 pps, PbtA, plus every mechanic mentioned in the article, and a bunch of Rodrigo song references. And it's free! Enjoy! #OliviaRodrigo @theonion.com #theonion #ttrpg #itch.io drgwenmarshall.itch.io/high-winter-...
drgwenmarshall.itch.io
High Winter Elves of Girlville by Gwen Marshall
A satirical game based on an Onion article about Olivia Rodrigo making a TTRPG!
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Joe Berkowitz @joeberkowitz.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
When you definitely understand the backlash you’re hoping to avoid.
From the Hollywood Reporter: Kit Harington Credits Harry Potter With Helping Him Through Sobriety Struggle
The actor gives a Jon Snow spinoff update, plus talks playing Gilderoy Lockhart in Harry Potter.'
BY JAMES HIBBERDSEPTEMBER 21
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Ryan Boyd @ryanboyd.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
NEW BRAIN DROPPED
med.stanford.edu
Human brain is two separate organs, Stanford Medicine-led research finds
Stanford Health Care delivers the highest levels of care and compassion. SHC treats cancer, heart disease, brain disorders, primary care issues, and many more.
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Joe Berkowitz @joeberkowitz.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Finally, a chance to see Donald Trump on television.
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phil @philjamesson.com · 20/09/2026
when i start ruminating on the boxed cereals which destroyed my memory, nothing can help me sleep. not even getting in full military regalia
image of a woman in bed wearing military regalia with several bars and medals pinned to her lapel
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Ken Tremendous @kentremendous.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
I wish there were a single sentence that could simultaneously encapsulate and explain every single problem we have in modern society.
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Jaya Saxena @jayasaxena.com · 21/09/2026
It's restaurant week in a few places, so upping my piece about how it got a reputation for being cringe, and why it actually still rules www.weareravenous.com/restaurant-w...
weareravenous.com
Restaurant Week Is Good, Actually
Chefs and diners have been plenty skeptical of Restaurant Week's discounted menus. But what if it's a better way to learn what a city's restaurants have to offer?
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Josephine beckbook.com Riesman @josie.zone · 21/09/2026
OK, might as well let the cat out of the bag The first excerpt from @beckbook.com is now available in the PRINT edition of New York Magazine!! It'll be online later, but if you can buy the actual issue, go support one of the last great print magazines!!! To entice you, here's the opening spread:
OPENING MAGAZINE SPREAD FOR BECK BOOK EXCERPT:

"Losing Beck" by Josephine Riesman

The singer-songwriter's acclaimed album SEA CHANGE was said to have been inspired by a breakup. For his partner of nine years, it was the story of how the Church of Scientology took over his life.
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Blue sky nice ghost @rajandelman.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Do you ever read a series of words
Includes exclusive Hanks for our troops pumpkin brulee
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Joe Berkowitz @joeberkowitz.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
For dogs, sidewalk pee is social media.
For dogs, sidewalk pee is like social media

A neighborhood street with 5 splotches of pee along the sidewalk, a square is rising out of each to give info about the fog behind the pee:

Minosa, Poodle
F. 7yo., walked by 40 minutes ago 
usual time
She has a UTI

Luna, Golden Retrever 
F. 3 y.o., walked by just 10 minutes ago, herusual time, she is in heat

Adonis, Beagle, M, 5 y.o., Walked by 4 hours ago, New in town

Avon Barksile, Daschund, M,6 y.o.,
Walked by 5 hours ago, Alpha, Currently in post-holiday malaise

Pickle, Boxer
M, 6 y.o., walked by an hour ago.
USual time. Ate a whole thing of 
Xmas
cookies
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Olúfẹ́mi O. Táíwò @olufemiotaiwo.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
according to the article, it took hours after the personal intervention of the mayor for his family to even get basic information about him. that information included that he had been transferred to ICE custody hours after being shot. no amnesty
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Imani Gandy @angryblacklady.blacksky.app · 20/09/2026
I just honestly can't get over that Save Women Sports, an anti-trans group could only find five trans athletes competing K through 12. Five. The NCAA president testified a year and a half ago or so that there were less than 10 college level trans athletes. What the fuck are we doing, people
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Prisonculture @prisonculture.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Excellent. I think he should ban more outlets. perhaps that will address the press's collective action problem...
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Joe Berkowitz @joeberkowitz.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
What if AI superstar Tilly Norwood, longevity genius Bryan Johnson and the pronatalist couple just interviewed *each other* forever, perhaps on an island somewhere with no cameras or wifi.
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Microplastics Sommelier @leastactionhero.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
tilly norwood vs fred flintstone made up: ✅ / ✅ has a job: ❌ / ✅ catchphrase: ❌ / ✅ pet dinosaur: ❌ / ✅ is a virgin: ✅ / ❌
Tilly Norwood, an inhuman gollum shaped like a perky brunette Fred Flintstone
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Joe Berkowitz @joeberkowitz.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
My brother in law is seven-feet tall and every photo he takes looks like this.
Photo of gorgeous couple std ding in front of an okay waterfall. The camera is looking down at them from absurdly high
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Joe Berkowitz @joeberkowitz.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Happy face of a girl enjoying a large treat to celebrate leaving the vet with good news.
most adorable black lab mix you've ever seen, looking happy in the backseat of a car clutching a huge meat disc thing. wet paw prints are visible on the seat cover because it's raining.
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Marisa Kabas @marisakabas.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
NYU Langone is paying the government $8.5 million in addition to ceasing gender-affirming care for minors. Cowardly loser shit.
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Gaius (from Tribunate) @gaius.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Imagining future digital archaeologists poring over boomer Facebook posts and attempting to use them to understand our culture and values the way we do tablets from the Library of Ashurbanipal
Maynard Dubuisson
2d •
Donald Trump I voted for you and I love you but we are not oil and gas
independent.We are having a hard time getting diesel fuel for the shrimp boats in alabama
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Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Carly Rae Jepsen is great in part because her songs are horny in ways that most musicians can't capture all of. Cheerfully horny. Wistfully horny. Hornnui. She has the horny range.
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Joe Spreadsheet @jsdtweets.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Zendaya is Neagley
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