Reposted by STRUMPET❗️Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 02/10/2026you gotta be super careful when summoning demons cuz you mispronounce one word and things get weird 1836887
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Starting my own neighborhood militia — fatties trannies beardos and weirdos only please 76512
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️murphmama.bsky.social @murphmama.bsky.social · 02/10/2026I am Jane Doe. My sister is Jane Doe. My mother is Jane Doe. 34215
STRUMPET❗️ @strumpet.bsky.social · 02/10/2026I have to be careful. There is place somewhere between the 2nd & 3rd drink combined with a couple nice tokes & I will suddenly buy just about anything the algorithm throws at me. Especially if is cat related. 010
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️Betsy Wetsy @betsyross.bsky.social · 02/10/2026according to a review of my late night online window shopping, it appears my cat narrowly avoided being a nun for Halloween 512745
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️Frances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 30/09/2026one thing i understand more and more as i get older is that i do not have to post every half-baked inane thought that blows through my weary, addled brain. i do it by choice. i can stop anytime i want. 1556993
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️haunted ghoulfriend👻🍬 @sliceofwife.bsky.social · 30/09/2026a hotdog will save your life 15512
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 30/09/2026them: when exactly did you become so jaded me: around the time i stopped wearing candy necklaces 418273
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️𝕳𝖔𝖗𝖗𝖔𝖗𝖈𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖎𝖘𝖙 🇨🇦🦇🥀🕸 @horrorculturist.bsky.social · 29/09/2026✨ 𝓮𝓶𝓫𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓮 𝔀𝓱𝓲𝓶𝓼𝔂 ✨. 🌙🌿 3349117
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I'm like DJ Jazzy Jeff but with my pill container 4447
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️DB 🇨🇦 @rebelliousdb.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Anyway, I have decided to shower and wash my hair. 1133
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️SeaTea @tierno158.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Yesterday, for a brief shining moment, I felt euphoric. Or as voice-to-text calls it ewe four ick. 1153
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️🖌 Myandra sez: 🖍 Impeach the MF'er soon. We're waiting. @myandra.bsky.social · 27/09/2026This is me... 3195
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️Jane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Unless you're talking about the crushing weight of existence, then no, I don't have a crush. 517978
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️Marly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 26/09/2026*vague gesture* Yeah, yeah. The only thing to fear is fear itself but no one ever wants to carry the propane tank in a lightning storm either. 17137
STRUMPET❗️ @strumpet.bsky.social · 27/09/2026You can want to strangle them, but still love them That is normal, right? 032
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️Idle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 26/09/2026One time, I self edited. That shit was fucking bonkers. 0249
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️Destry B @destry.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Back in my day we did it all for the nookie. Now we do it just to survive. 031
STRUMPET❗️ @strumpet.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I'm 57 and I have a roommate and a 'always here somehow' drug dealer. So yeah my late midlife crisis is going stunningly well. 010
STRUMPET❗️ @strumpet.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Girl is a narcissist and needs 100% attention but she is also our drug dealer so 🤷🏼♀️ 011
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️spleenly @spleenly.bsky.social · 11/11/2025We don't yoink people with a crook enough these days. 19430
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️Dead Reckons @gregreckons.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Join my Patreon for early access to my meltdowns. 06527
STRUMPET❗️ @strumpet.bsky.social · 26/09/2026What is the German word for when another thinner women has your partner takes her measurements and then talks about her fat belly in your living room? Is it fuckofffraubitchenstien? 130
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️Marly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I guess yelling, "I DON'T EVEN LIKE CORN MAZES!" is like a secret password that gets you escorted to wherever you want to go. 18627
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 26/09/2026-Wait, where’s Pokey? -I’m sorry Gumby, but I needed window putty 99233
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️the hype @thehyyyype.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Shawty: why... is the whole club looking at me? Her friend: uhh, it's probably because of your apple bottom jeans and boots with the fur Shawty: oh yeah, that makes sense 0334
STRUMPET❗️ @strumpet.bsky.social · 16/09/2026My mom used to move all the time with me as a teen in her 50's. I hated it & cried every time. Now I know why she threw away everything.... 041
STRUMPET❗️ @strumpet.bsky.social · 16/09/2026As a functional alcoholic. Shit falling apart on a Tuesday does not fit my paradigm, but here we are. 031
STRUMPET❗️ @strumpet.bsky.social · 16/09/2026Wait many years to divorce your spouse & move in with your partner. Take their BFF as roommate so you can afford a nice place. Realize after a soul breaking move you may have made your daily existence worse Wonder if you packed a couple of suitcases & left the country if that would be better 000
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️Princess of Whales @princessofwhales2.bsky.social · 29/07/2026Onion rings are the only safe way for me to eat vegetables now 1522652
STRUMPET❗️ @strumpet.bsky.social · 31/07/2026I am half drunk eating a raspberry uncrustable for dinner, if you were wondering how my glamorous life is going. 3383
STRUMPET❗️ @strumpet.bsky.social · 31/07/2026I am one of those babies. Parents managed to not kill each other for 8 whole years after. But damn did they try. 010
STRUMPET❗️ @strumpet.bsky.social · 30/07/2026The Von Underfoote family is vast. Here is uncle Vlad. 120
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️regular meghan 나영지 🇵🇸 @ruemcclammyhand.bsky.social · 06/05/2026can you come over and do this to me 722926
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️SpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social · 30/07/2026I’m too young to be this old 13412111
STRUMPET❗️ @strumpet.bsky.social · 30/07/2026Uncontested divorces take 60 days to finalize. I think if you've been married over 25 years, you should be able to shout "I'm divorced" three times in your local supermarket and call it good 091
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️💄Echo💋 (ghostly) @babyfirstandlast.bsky.social · 30/07/2026withdrawing into myself so hard that my tits have popped out my back, it’s normal it’s fine 2212
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️Astr0z0mbreez @astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social · 24/07/2026Babe. I just rly wanna escape to somewhere less forsaken 07231
Reposted by STRUMPET❗️bacon popsicle 🧴 @gupton68.bsky.social · 30/07/2026My wife appreciates the same feature of our marriage as she does in my credit cards – they’re both contactless. 19446