Reposted by Stevevsninjas captain bleach @blainecapatch.bsky.social · 19/03/2024EXCOMMUNICATE EXCOMMUNICATE 564063943
Reposted by Stevevsninjas Jo @whatsjo.bsky.social · 19/09/2023I need someone else to prevent forest fires for like 10 minutes. 171040202
Reposted by Stevevsninjas Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 25/06/2026*brings guitar to campfire circle *tunes guitar *waits for everyone to be quiet *gently places guitar on campfire 734659
Stevevsninjas @stevevsninjas.bsky.social · 30/06/2026grace, ya ever wonder what DJT is up to these days? 070
Reposted by Stevevsninjas Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 29/06/2026researching baseball 187100802179
Reposted by Stevevsninjas highly praised and little read @hannah.posts.rat.pictures.ap.brid.gy · 28/06/2026Each broom agent can spawn additional, autonomous broom agents, each with their own pails. This allows apprentices to accelerate monotonous water-fetching tasks and save their time and energy for more interesting and useful work 4132139
Reposted by Stevevsninjas karanormal activity 💜 @deadontheoutside.bsky.social · 28/06/2026me: should i chronicle history or document current events? funk soul brother: write about now 273101749
Reposted by Stevevsninjas Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 27/06/2026the reflecting pool is looking great today 2115840691
Reposted by Stevevsninjas Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 05/04/2025And the Michelin Man removed the tire from his waist and gave it to them, saying, “Take this and drive; for this is my body.” 352025402
Stevevsninjas @stevevsninjas.bsky.social · 26/06/2026omg kmy only 5 left! ill get 1 if u get 1 we can have play dates 4 them 020
Reposted by Stevevsninjas 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 29/12/2024I hate when I go time traveling and forget to bring my pastport. 22494124
Reposted by Stevevsninjas DC Pierson @handle.invalid · 19/06/2026The sort of thing you get offered by a guy in a Hold Steady song 12915125
Reposted by Stevevsninjas Nate @thenatewolf.bsky.social · 09/06/2026Neighbour noticed my fortifications and started inquiring about my moat guy. Dream on, fella, I’ve already promised your vulnerable lands to one of my lesser brothers. 06811
Stevevsninjas @stevevsninjas.bsky.social · 31/05/2026I was going for a joke. Both letters of OK were capitalized for a reason. Too subtle? 110
Stevevsninjas @stevevsninjas.bsky.social · 31/05/2026Professor: if the valley is shaped like a V it was formed by a river because River has a v in it. If the valley is shaped like a u it was formed by a glacier because Glacier has a u in it. Student : Glacier doesn't have a u in it. Professor: *shoves student into crevasse* now the glacier has u in it 0437
Reposted by Stevevsninjas Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 05/07/2023hyperbole kills more people annually than all other literary techniques combined 12652189
Reposted by Stevevsninjas mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 23/05/2026A rolling bookcase ladder is the ideal mode of transportation. I just need a bookcase that runs between my house and the corner shop 08314
Reposted by Stevevsninjas Joel @snufkinlib.bsky.social · 29/04/2026trying to play peekaboo with my child but he's a European diplomat: me: where'd daddy go? baby: we must articulate a post-daddy vision of strategic autonomy me: peekaboo! baby: my historic relationship with my father is stable despite recent troubles 1572471735
Reposted by Stevevsninjas NY Times Pitchbot @nytpitchbot.bsky.social · 18/04/2026Whether it’s pictures of Barack Obama reading to a group of children with Zohran Mamdani or it’s pictures of Donald Trump with Jeffrey Epstein on an island full of sex-trafficked minors, occupants of the oval office are making some controversial choices about who they take pictures with. 71207168
Reposted by Stevevsninjas Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 11/04/2026it is acceptable to wipe your hands on a sleeping relative because they are your napkin 1016936
Stevevsninjas @stevevsninjas.bsky.social · 09/04/2026we invented these incredible devices called smartphones that give us all the world's knowledge at our fingertips 0224
Reposted by Stevevsninjas Dominic Caruso @dominiccaruso1.bsky.social · 30/03/2026I’ve been trying on the same pair of pants since 1989 (it’s the world’s biggest pair of pants & I have been free-falling down one of what I assume is one of the legs—it’s hard to tell, it’s so dark in here—for 36 years). 24012
Stevevsninjas @stevevsninjas.bsky.social · 20/03/2026one roundhouse kick from Chuck, and Death collapses like a game of Jenga 020
Stevevsninjas @stevevsninjas.bsky.social · 20/03/2026Death didn't come for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris came for Death. 193
Reposted by Stevevsninjas futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 10/03/2026why did we even domesticate peeves 231040291
Reposted by Stevevsninjas victoria scott @victoriascott.bsky.social · 14/03/2026I'm sorry ma'am, but your son perished on Kharg Island in a valiant effort to create Wii Bowling meme videos for the White House X account. In the face of danger, he was not cringe; he was based to his last breath. Please have this commemorative Epic Fury challenge coin. Yes that's Punisher, ma'am 103115542398
Stevevsninjas @stevevsninjas.bsky.social · 10/03/2026now it's charged but the Bluetooth won't pair... 020
Reposted by Stevevsninjas Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 08/03/2026Turning the clocks forward to a time when he's finally dead 161359219
Reposted by Stevevsninjas Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 06/03/2026To: All Staff Subject: Marketing We've rebranded the Murder Hornets as the Buzz Kills™️ Please note updated signage in the apiaries. 321141
Reposted by Stevevsninjas William Stone @handle.invalid · 03/03/2026It’s actually FEWER Misérables 525092987
Stevevsninjas @stevevsninjas.bsky.social · 06/03/2026Today the streets of DC are black with Kristi Noem's running mascara 13310
Stevevsninjas @stevevsninjas.bsky.social · 05/03/2026FIFA begins fabrication of newly invented 'War Prize' 183
Reposted by Stevevsninjas Sunshine Jarboly @sunshinejarboly.bsky.social · 02/03/2026me: adele is still out there chasing pavements & setting fire to the rain & it’s making my life seem like i’m living in the non-descript, depression city in the movie se7en. the priest giving me communion: maybe you should try not believing in god for a while. 0278
Reposted by Stevevsninjas Mitch McConnell's shambling corpse 🧟♂️ @checarina.bsky.social · 06/02/2025TATTOO ARTIST: you mean "no regrets", right? ME: *crushing a picture of the egret that killed my father in my clenched fist* no 7702169
Reposted by Stevevsninjas Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 25/02/2026We are a few thousand subscribers away from being a bigger print newspaper than the Washington Post. We are a mere flurry away from humiliating one of the two Big Space Perverts. Ask not how a Space Pervert can dominate you. Ask how you can dominate a Space Pervert. Subscribe below.membership.theonion.comJoin The OnionDon’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news. 10869641744
Reposted by Stevevsninjas Carole Boo @caroleu.bsky.social · 25/02/2026If you scramble the letters of the word “responsibility” you will find both “insobriety” and “spinsterly” among the results. If you then take the time to type it out as a post, you can avoid your responsibilities for a moment longer. That’s a possibility, which is also a scramble result. Yippee. 0196
Reposted by Stevevsninjas gooner, the only online raccoon @sopranos69420.bsky.social · 23/02/2026 2340781
Reposted by Stevevsninjas CrazyMyra @outonthemoors.bsky.social · 17/02/2026When the pop-ups tell the real story 1215
Reposted by Stevevsninjas It's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 16/02/2026I shut the medicine chest and there, in the mirror behind me, stood the killer: atherosclerosis 210415
