Reposted by Smh-luckymeMarly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 11/10/2026Y'all don't even know how hard I laughed when the weekly newspaper had to print a formal clarification one year that the photo of a house fire published the prior week which contained Big Foot in the yard of the house on the right, was actually a large Halloween prop & not actually Big Foot. 13912
Reposted by Smh-luckymesweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 11/10/2026i was really bummed out by something my estranged sister said to me and then my daughter said “mom, that’s like a cockroach telling a unicorn they’re not special” and now i feel so much better 225337
Reposted by Smh-luckymeMarly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 11/10/2026You have to enjoy a town with a strong fondness for Big Foot. 44921
Reposted by Smh-luckymeMarly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 11/10/2026See, you think I'm quirky but when I tell you about my neighbors, y'all become "Actually, she seems kind of normal" pretty fast. *grin* 02711
Reposted by Smh-luckyme𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026The loaf is the laziest of all food formations. 713253
Reposted by Smh-luckymeMarly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 11/10/2026Phone 19: Mama, you know you're banned from using boxcutters. You always hurt yourself by accident or destroy something. We've talked about this. No boxcutters. Me: It's not my fault. It was in the new package blade out! All I did was reach in there! 19: Sure it was. 02810
Reposted by Smh-luckymesweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 11/10/2026nothing gives you the ego boost you needed like your teenage child telling you your taste in clothes is gross 711216
Reposted by Smh-luckymesweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 05/10/2026i guess you could say i’ve mastered the art of nodding and politely smiling as i simultaneously wish the ground would open and swallow me whole 616850
Reposted by Smh-luckymeDanny @mardigroan.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Mondays are like Godzilla ringing your doorbell. 05824
Reposted by Smh-luckymeMarc @runoldman.bsky.social · 05/10/2026I don't know why they're called "Briefs", I been wearing this pair three days. 1216475
Reposted by Smh-luckymesweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 05/10/2026i don’t want to be a big account and that’s why i keep posting 414039
Reposted by Smh-luckymeFR🎃 V🎃 @frovo.bsky.social · 05/10/2026it’s called making up words maybe you ferdovit 716847
Reposted by Smh-luckymeNosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 05/10/2026There's still time before the holidays to have a trap door installed in front of your house. 512942
Reposted by Smh-luckymeDaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 05/10/2026[after a few minutes] wait a minute, i think im in the wrong shitstorm 14125
Reposted by Smh-luckymeDaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Hades would be a great name for a baby 23420
Reposted by Smh-luckymeCynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 05/10/2026get in loser, we're going lurking 29837
Reposted by Smh-luckymeJake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 05/10/2026My loan for filling my gas tank completely was just approved. 720758
Reposted by Smh-luckymeDaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 05/10/2026face down ass up, that’s the way i find the clovers of luck 15124
Reposted by Smh-luckymeTim 🇨🇦 @qwertying.bsky.social · 04/10/2026I went to the hardware store and asked for a thingamajig. The kid said, "A what?" I said, "You know, the doohickey that goes next to the whatchamacallit." 1148
Reposted by Smh-luckymeJohn Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Some church people knocked on my door and said they wanted to tell me about the afterlife. I told them I’m trying to avoid any spoilers. 322973
Reposted by Smh-luckymekattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 04/10/2026“im still goth,” i say, rubbing arthritis cream on my feet, adding orthotic inserts into my (hands-free ) sneakers & walking gingerly from my chair to my other chair while saying “ow, ow”, “goddammit. ow” 1417839
Reposted by Smh-luckymeYgrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 04/10/2026saw your man at the grocery store and he was struggling to effectively use his rewards points 125948
Reposted by Smh-luckymeSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 04/10/2026If I’m bobbing for apples at your Halloween party and stay down for more than a couple of minutes don’t worry I used to free dive for abalone 1218861
Reposted by Smh-luckymeMarc @runoldman.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Ghosts in movies are stupid. If I was a ghost I'd be on a beach in St Thomas, but they're just like "Let's stay here and move pots and pans" 920481
Reposted by Smh-luckymeNosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Stow your cheese wheels in the overhead compartment. 2139469
Reposted by Smh-luckymeDB 🇨🇦 @rebelliousdb.bsky.social · 04/10/2026The weirdest thing is that the weirdest things are the norm now. 03923
Reposted by Smh-luckymeFickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Sorry everything’s on fire, I just watched a romcom. 17843
Reposted by Smh-luckymeYgrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 04/10/2026cop: license and registration please me: (hands him uno reverse card) license and registration please cop: ah man 748093
Reposted by Smh-luckymesweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 04/10/2026my friend kelly randomly said “what if penises unfurled like a butterfly’s tongue” to which i replied “it’s actually called a proboscis” and then she just stared at me 925257
Reposted by Smh-luckymeNosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 11/08/2026On the one hand I hate this series of heat waves but on the other hand when I take laundry out of the washer it dries in 5 minutes. 56510
Reposted by Smh-luckymeGrant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 06/08/2026Me: [making impt life decision] what should I do Wife: just listen to your gut Me: ok Gut: let’s get nachos Me: BYE WE’RE GOING OUT FOR NACHOS Wife: wtf just happened 215570
Reposted by Smh-luckymesweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 06/08/2026you had me at hello i own a hot dog cart 517444
Reposted by Smh-luckymeMarc @runoldman.bsky.social · 02/08/2026I'm stuck somewhere between the future looks bright & life has passed me by. 815291
Reposted by Smh-luckymesweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 02/08/2026love potion #10 causes the user to fall under the spell of raccoons 410122
Reposted by Smh-luckymeNosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 02/08/2026Ran out of Febreeze so I'm filling up a spray bottle with hot dog water and hoping for the best. 1423851
Reposted by Smh-luckymesweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 31/07/2026becoming a treasure hunter (taking random pills i find in parking lots) 714039
Reposted by Smh-luckymeCandy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 31/07/2026I know I sound paranoid, but the grocery store somehow knows exactly which item I came in for and only hides that one item. 0306
Reposted by Smh-luckymeNosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 31/07/2026When the day comes that my hair turns completely white I'll just tell everyone I have the blood of the dragon. 512128
Reposted by Smh-luckymeFᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 31/07/2026[eating cereal for dinner] it's 9am somewhere 425386
Reposted by Smh-luckymeGrant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 01/08/2026Are you there, God? It's me, the guy who makes creepy Judy Blume references 933091
Reposted by Smh-luckymeRachel @slightlycaustic.bsky.social · 31/07/2026It’s interesting that people who will be dead get to decide to ignore climate change and ruin the world for people who will still be alive. 25716
Reposted by Smh-luckymeCorduroy Cheddar @corduroycheddar.bsky.social · 30/07/2026I feel like people stopped shitting bricks 77429
Reposted by Smh-luckymeCandy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 29/07/2026"Call me when you get this. No. This isn't 1998 and I'm not your mom. Text me like a normal person. 0289
Reposted by Smh-luckymeDaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 29/07/2026drinking water is the easiest form of self care next to telling people to go fuck themselves 018062
Reposted by Smh-luckymeHenpecked Hal @henpeckedhal.bsky.social · 29/07/2026me: I’m not interested, but you should go talk to my neighbor Mark salesman: does he want solar? me: no, I just don’t like him 28124
Reposted by Smh-luckymespleenly @spleenly.bsky.social · 29/07/2026Drove barefoot for five minutes, and now I really need a beach vacation. 1226
Reposted by Smh-luckymesweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 29/07/2026r.i.p.: rest in potatoes 2630897
Reposted by Smh-luckymeYgrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 29/07/2026could really use a deviled egg based holiday right now 2041376