iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

things have gotten so bad tinker bell is begging everyone to stop clapping for her

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

have you tried unplugging it and never plugging it back in again

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Shiv Ramdas Mens Rice Activist @nameshiv.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

yesterday I told this cat he was a good boy for "hunting" a sock and bringing it to me in the bedroom and this morning every one of my socks is missing

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strange ranger @lithiumsucks.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

I don't need psych meds, I need to be thrown into an active volcano.

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notdaredevil @skeptyk.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

The shopping cart of my brain has five wobbly wheels, if that's even possible.

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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

WARNING: Moose will try to diagnose what is wrong with your broken vehicle.

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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Careful, the plate is hot. And the fork. Actually I microwaved all the dinnerware for 25 minutes.

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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

17 begged me for a car because all his friends have one, so I get him a used one. Now he’s not speaking to me. There’s just no pleasing him.

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karanormal activity 💜 @deadontheoutside.bsky.social · 01/12/2024

ennuibles wobble but no longer take any joy in it

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Stephen Uitti he/him/it/they/hey-you @suitti.bsky.social · 21/11/2024

I'm giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I'm giving up. Eating chocolate for a month. #joke

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Raysident Evil @sireviscerate.myatproto.social · 30/09/2026

Eating Tums not for the heartburn, but so the residents of my microbiome can make little chalk drawings in my colon

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

boi, are you one of the founding fathers bc you gave me syphilis

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Ken Plume @kenplume.bsky.social · 03/12/2025

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Kitchens on fire off the oil in the ovens. I watched tokens glitter in the dark near the skeeball grate. All those moments will be lost in time, like pizzas in rain. Time to die.

Photo of a dilapidated Chuck E. Cheese animatronic rotting outside in the middle of nowhere

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notdaredevil @skeptyk.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

🎶I got me a car, it's as big as a whale And we're headin' on down to the love shack I got me a Chrysler, it seats about twenty So hurry up and bring your jukebox money🎶

Pope Leo, backup lead singer for the B-52's, belting out their top-10 hit single from 1990, "Love Shack"

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strange ranger @lithiumsucks.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

*Normalize punching racists in the face again*

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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Asked my dentist if I should use an electric toothbrush and he said “I’m retiring next week, I don’t care if you eat rocks”

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dan mentos @danmentos.com · 27/09/2026

[shopping at costco] why do hot dogs come in packs of 192 but the buns come in packs of 146

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Boo! Bootsy 👻 @weirdmiddlechild.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I like frosted flakes but i hate scooping tony the tiger's litter box. He's gr-r-ross!

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I misread her profile. Apparently her favorite position is 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘥 cowgirl.

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Eric Replatformed @21stcenturyeric.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

I am going as Bootsy Collins for Halloween to prey on your bassist fears.

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Gwen C. Katz @gwenckatz.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Fuck ChatGPT flyers. The future is broadsheets.

A crowded broadsheet with way too many fonts. It says:
Forget ChatGPT Flyers
Say it with
Broadsheets
Unlimited fonts
Stretch them
Or cram a really long sentence into one line for no good reason
No whitespace
Mix capital and lowercase
Pointing hands
(They're called manicules!)
Don't be left behind
Broadsheets are the future

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

I do the Mister Rogers casual-thing when I get home from work but instead of putting on a sweater and sneakers I strip naked in the driveway and set fire to my filthy and wretched clothes.

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darth™️ @darthbluesky.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

in your next zoom interview have not only a cup of ice coffee but seven or eight different cups of various beverages just off camera and casually drink from each of them throughout the interview the drinks should have fancy straws or colorful parasols or large pieces of fruit on the edge of the cup

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Gary Muppet @garymuppet.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Most relatable part of Star Wars, besides the big dog in the front seat, was Luke Skywalker whining about the harvest. No way Gary was getting around these tractors.

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 01/08/2023

[jurassic park] ALAN GRANT: the t-rex can’t see you if you don’t move ME: *In The Air Tonight on my headphones gets to the drum solo part* fuck fuck fuck

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Boochy's BooBoo Booboobooboo @frenchys-goldau.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

I can't concentrate good cause I have AT&T

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Boo B 👻🐝 @vtbee80.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

there’s no need to set an alarm when you have The Anxiety Machine™ waking you up

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Blue sky nice ghost @rajandelman.bsky.social · 17/09/2023

The doctor thinks I'm giving birth, but unbeknownst to him, I'm about to execute a delightful update to the classic "snakes in a can" prank

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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Had that dream again, where I’m late for a high school math test. I’m out of breath as I run into the classroom, and everyone is naked, including the teacher, and they make fun of my windbreaker and corduroy pants.

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Misery Highlight @miseryhighlight.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Why have another seasonal depression when you can make it a ✨sensational✨ depression

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FRONT TOWARD ENEMY @armyvet1972.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

The citizenry of my locality hold a common view that my lexicon is befouled with pretentious syntax.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

My anxiety has never once fixed a problem, but I admire its commitment to the project.

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Dominic Caruso @dominiccaruso1.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Still got half a bag of charcoal left to eat before summer’s over

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Red Herring Bear @qutzupalotl.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Kleptomania? There’s a pilfer that.

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Chestbursty @chestrovert.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Gonna take a night walk and place old eggs in places like if Johnny Appleseed was also the Easter Bunny. We need more Johnny Appleseeds in this world even if it's rotten eggs for weird animals damn the rules I will be part of the problem

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