MisterD @misterd78uk.bsky.social · 12/05/2026My brain is foggy and forgetful all day long but the second I'm about to fall asleep it's like "hey here's a list of all the stuff you wanted from me earlier" 042
MisterD @misterd78uk.bsky.social · 12/05/2026I always wanted one of my college professors to write "he gave it the old college try" on my report card but they said they weren't allowed to lie 021
MisterD @misterd78uk.bsky.social · 08/05/2026I'm that dork who just thinks everyone's being friendly and my mate will be like "she was totally hitting on you, you idiot" 041
MisterD @misterd78uk.bsky.social · 08/05/2026You know when someone recognises you but you can't remember who they are? Yeah I try that shit with everyone these days 021
MisterD @misterd78uk.bsky.social · 07/05/2026I think karma comes to collect when we need to print something... it's the only explanation 0148
MisterD @misterd78uk.bsky.social · 07/05/2026Bumped into an old work colleague who said he got married and had three kids since, so I said I hadn't done much as I think telling him i'm making a sick Lego C3P0 would've made him feel even worse 031
MisterD @misterd78uk.bsky.social · 07/05/2026I sometimes think of something really fun to do then I remember there'll be other people there too and the idea is no longer fun 24522
Reposted by MisterDTwoSense @twosense.bsky.social · 13/01/2026if someone shoves your face into a chocolate cake, the calories don’t count 910532
Reposted by MisterD𝔏𝔦𝔩𝔞𝔠🪩 @ironlilacc.bsky.social · 12/01/2026I don't trust anyone who gets excited about math facts 1178
Reposted by MisterDbacon popsicle 🧴 @gupton68.bsky.social · 13/01/2026To cut down on my alcohol intake I’m only going to have half measures in future but to save on the washing up I’m going to have them two at a time in the same glass. 211246
Reposted by MisterDbacon popsicle 🧴 @gupton68.bsky.social · 08/01/2026[after my first set as a stand-up comedian] me: man, I can’t believe I died on stage tonight St. Peter: I know, and to be honest your act was awful too 316665
Reposted by MisterDDanny @mardigroan.bsky.social · 13/01/2026Unprecedented Times at Ridgemont High 113346
Reposted by MisterDGranite Man @granitedhuine.bsky.social · 13/01/2026You can tell a lot about a person by what's on their bookshelves. 0197
Reposted by MisterDAnnaAnkaAnia @samerealwoman.bsky.social · 27/11/2025Autocorrect changed "demands" to "demons" in my emails, and I must fully agree with it! 19440
Reposted by MisterDJim @jimstewart.bsky.social · 13/01/2026Not enough of you read cereal boxes as a kid eating breakfast, and it shows. 216360
Reposted by MisterDandy vs. @im-all-id.me · 13/01/2026I'm not alone. I have forever chemicals 16492143
MisterD @misterd78uk.bsky.social · 12/01/2026It's true I never know what's going on but these days... who would want to? 02215
Reposted by MisterDWineMummy @winemummy.bsky.social · 11/01/2026How can we be soulmates if you don’t reply? 02713
Reposted by MisterDandy vs. @im-all-id.me · 11/01/2026Hmm day 7 of waking up without my left sock on 1314741
Reposted by MisterDGary Muppet @garymuppet.bsky.social · 11/01/2026It wasn’t anywhere to be found, and Gary just knew it was because he put it somewhere he “wouldn’t forget.” 15116
Reposted by MisterDSpecialKimtamine™ 🚩🏴☠️🇮🇹🇺🇸🦈 @lorazekim.bsky.social · 09/01/2026I guess calling the pharmacist Candy Man is frowned upon. Who knew 16220
Reposted by MisterDSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 11/01/2026Be the sweet ass mix-tape you want to hear in this world 623695
Reposted by MisterDOne Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom.bsky.social · 11/01/2026I wish unfriending someone on Facebook meant unmeeting them too. 0153
Reposted by MisterDAlgonquin K Farquhar II @buddhatree.bsky.social · 11/01/2026If you like cheese enchiladas and getting caught in the rain 513344
Reposted by MisterDMary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 11/01/2026I parallel parked so bad that I had to leave and find a new space. 414740
Reposted by MisterD(spoo)key @lefttwix.com · 11/01/2026why haven’t any skin care brands been able to replicate the post cry glow 28734
Reposted by MisterDJenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 11/01/2026Have you looked at the time? I’m almost late for a nap 1279
Reposted by MisterDParanormal Pandy 🎃 @thatbrenna.bsky.social · 11/01/2026I am not overthinking things. If anything, you're underthinking things 05021
Reposted by MisterDEmma Bolden @emmabolden.bsky.social · 11/01/202680% of owning a cat is trying to figure out where your cat is 48013
Reposted by MisterDchris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 07/01/2026There are ghosts in your house but don't be so arrogant to think they have the time or energy to fuck your shit about. 411136
Reposted by MisterDchris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 09/01/2026I wear big glasses. All the better to cover in body grease and not have to see you with, my dear. 58520
Reposted by MisterDchris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 09/01/2026There is nothing melted cheese cannot correct, except for maybe an open chest wound. 2923266
Reposted by MisterDDrunkAss @maxhyde.bsky.social · 11/01/2026Was about to fucking reply, poured a bourbon, fucking ripped a dart, didn't fucking reply We all fucking win 0138
Reposted by MisterDJenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 11/01/2026I’ve got nothing to say so I guess I better go ahead & say it 53311
MisterD @misterd78uk.bsky.social · 11/01/2026No no don't take it personally, I don't like anyone Me, flirting 03312
Reposted by MisterD🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒 @dadmoonrising.bsky.social · 02/01/2026This "you do you" mentality is selfish, self-centered and ultimately self-destructive. We need more of a "everybody do everyone" attitude in 2026 0136
Reposted by MisterD🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒 @dadmoonrising.bsky.social · 04/01/2026I go back to work tomorrow, which means I now have exactly one day to complete the two weeks worth of projects I confidently told my wife I’d “definitely get to” during my vacation 2187
Reposted by MisterD🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒 @dadmoonrising.bsky.social · 08/01/2026One day you're young and carefree, the next you have both daytime and nighttime socks 27330
Reposted by MisterDMrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 11/01/2026according to this fitness app, I’m more of an inactivist 07730
Reposted by MisterDMrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 25/11/2025Some nights I throw all of my coats on the bed in the guest room so it looks like I’m having a big party. 09929
Reposted by MisterDBrick's House 🍁 @brickmahoney.bsky.social · 04/01/2026We need Song 3 from Blur now more than ever 932773
Reposted by MisterDBrick's House 🍁 @brickmahoney.bsky.social · 04/01/2026Sir Isaac Newton: "If I have seen further than others, it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants." Me: (can't see at all because the cat knocked my glasses behind the toilet) 320352
Reposted by MisterDBrick's House 🍁 @brickmahoney.bsky.social · 10/01/2026Can any reply people out there tell me what a rhetorical joke is? 2316463
Reposted by MisterDAuntie Social @auntiesocial.bsky.social · 11/01/2026people that don't sleep with bare feet are sockturnal 24413
Reposted by MisterDandy vs. @im-all-id.me · 08/01/2026Radical fuckin idea but maybe we let ppl find enjoyment however they can because everything sucks 18947223
Reposted by MisterDandy vs. @im-all-id.me · 09/01/2026It should cost money to send people videos that are longer than 30 seconds 1130865
