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Pumpkin Escobar

@kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social
6.8K followers 666 following 6.4K posts

I'm no clown I won't back down I don't need you to tell me what's going down bsky.app/profile/kingmonkeysunkle.b…

PostsRepliesMedia
Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
influencer?
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Skinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
it turns out that a monkey cannot in fact do my job, long story short, he got us both fired
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Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
This is the most @misshavishambles.bsky.social post ever that wasn't written by her.
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Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
i have so far been able to combine a significant amount of confidence in my ability while simultaneously possessing very little ability it's something of a paradox i can tell you
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Miss Havishambles @misshavishambles.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
It’s not you it’s me I say, looking in the mirror.
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The Tennessee Holler @thetnholler.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
CARTOON OF THE DAY…
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korpisworld @kwkorpi.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Nobody has ever casually purchased a tarp. Something has happened.
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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I simply couldn't, so I did not.
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Boo B 👻🐝 @vtbee80.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
before you fall in love with me you should know that i’m not very good at cooking. or cleaning. or sex.
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Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
when I find a way to put positionable fabric coverings over my windows it's curtains for you lot
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Miss Havishambles @misshavishambles.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Trying to give up cake and pastries. The strudel is real.
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Oh, you like psychology? Name five ways you can help me
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Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
america, your president has made a culture of misogyny and degradation of women acceptable but still, what about that new ballroom eh
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Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
great because I didn't want to miss out.
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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
me: we have to stop meeting like this *chuckle, pause, frown* no, seriously, i'm getting sick of bumping into you tuesday:
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Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
chris dot, is nemesising the same as loathing, because I loathe 94% of Bluesky
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Misery Highlight @miseryhighlight.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I’d take an earbud out for you.
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Daisy @daisy91.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
I walk around in public with the same facial expression as my cat when he sees the vacuum.
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Skinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I'm not going to lie, would you accept an elaborate excuse instead?
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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 28/04/2026
if hamburger helper then surely hot dog collaborator
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Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
i ended it when it became clear she only liked me for my special potatoes and it's not the first time either tbh
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Misery Highlight @miseryhighlight.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Good luck with that thing you’re trying to do.
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SpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I could go to sleep but unfortunately I’m committed to making tomorrow worse for me and everyone involved
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A Shot of Steve™ ⚡️ @stevekoehler22.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
We should be able to “skip ad” when some people in real life are talking to us.
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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I must have been 8 or 9 when my parents sat me down to explain there is no Michelin Man.
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Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
everything i have learnt about myself i have learnt under duress
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
all of these cave paintings are about me that’s weird
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sky @iamspacegirl.bsky.social · 11/11/2024
It may look like I’m just sitting here but I’m actually nourishing a massive underground root structure, so
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Comics Outta Context 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @comiccontext.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
#MondayMorning
Image of Batman, he is slumped but setting up against a yellow wall, his legs on the ground and spread while little Asterix around his head indicate he is disoriented.”
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Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I said you seem obsessed with the size of my appendage she said no honestly it's just not that deep.
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Shade 5 @shade5.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Just think there's someone who has yet to be born that'll be preforming with Madonna at the VMAs someday.
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(spoo)key @lefttwix.com · 19/09/2026
what if eyeballs were testicles you could see out of
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Damnit Janet @damnitjanet.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Podcasts are actually really useful for making it sound like you're not home alone when the delivery guy brings a shameful amount of takeaway
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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Slept on my body weird last night. Who wants to come over and snap my spine?
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Sam @samuelhlowe.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I just need to say that convincing someone that your crazy ass is emotionally stable is also catfishing.
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Tim 🇨🇦 @qwertying.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I saw a scarecrow today. It looked more employable than I am.
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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
Sesame Street never prepared me for any of this
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Skinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
When all else fails you really have nothing to worry about anymore
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SaltyGirl @saltssaltgirl.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Setting the bar so low that my toes touch it. Now go lower.
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Shitposts In Tiaras @shitpostsintiaras.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Radical flame-inism 🔥🏆👑 Congratulations @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social from @hormonella.bsky.social
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Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
🤟
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Marly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
*vague gesture* Yeah, yeah. The only thing to fear is fear itself but no one ever wants to carry the propane tank in a lightning storm either.
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strange ranger @lithiumsucks.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Nobody really wants to be the winner of the, "who had it worse growing up" competition...nobody.
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Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
going to add a random person's handle to my bio alongside a wedding ring emoji
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Frances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 27/09/2026
i'm sorry baby, i swear it'll never happen again, after the midterms
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Jane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Tune in next week when I livestream my attempt to smuggle a baby giraffe through airport security.
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
It’s 6:00 am. Do you know where your phone is? Hint: It’s in your hand.
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Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
🙏
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Skinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
[Samuel L. Jackson voice] Nonsense motherfucker, do you speak it?
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