Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarSkinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 16/09/2026it turns out that a monkey cannot in fact do my job, long story short, he got us both fired 826181
Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · 29/09/2026This is the most @misshavishambles.bsky.social post ever that wasn't written by her. 120
Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · 29/09/2026i have so far been able to combine a significant amount of confidence in my ability while simultaneously possessing very little ability it's something of a paradox i can tell you 252
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarMiss Havishambles @misshavishambles.bsky.social · 29/09/2026It’s not you it’s me I say, looking in the mirror. 39643
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarThe Tennessee Holler @thetnholler.bsky.social · 25/09/2026CARTOON OF THE DAY… 408127145446
Reposted by Pumpkin Escobarkorpisworld @kwkorpi.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Nobody has ever casually purchased a tarp. Something has happened. 1518870
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarLizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 28/09/2026I simply couldn't, so I did not. 814561
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarBoo B 👻🐝 @vtbee80.bsky.social · 28/09/2026before you fall in love with me you should know that i’m not very good at cooking. or cleaning. or sex. 16019
Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · 29/09/2026when I find a way to put positionable fabric coverings over my windows it's curtains for you lot 14816
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarMiss Havishambles @misshavishambles.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Trying to give up cake and pastries. The strudel is real. 718045
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarViktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Oh, you like psychology? Name five ways you can help me 1015544
Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · 29/09/2026america, your president has made a culture of misogyny and degradation of women acceptable but still, what about that new ballroom eh 071
Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · 29/09/2026great because I didn't want to miss out. 010
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarCosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 28/09/2026me: we have to stop meeting like this *chuckle, pause, frown* no, seriously, i'm getting sick of bumping into you tuesday: 04623
Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · 29/09/2026chris dot, is nemesising the same as loathing, because I loathe 94% of Bluesky 110
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarMisery Highlight @miseryhighlight.bsky.social · 28/09/2026I’d take an earbud out for you. 125095
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarDaisy @daisy91.bsky.social · 18/06/2026I walk around in public with the same facial expression as my cat when he sees the vacuum. 21587111
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarSkinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 28/09/2026I'm not going to lie, would you accept an elaborate excuse instead? 613159
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarDaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 28/04/2026if hamburger helper then surely hot dog collaborator 222365
Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · 29/09/2026i ended it when it became clear she only liked me for my special potatoes and it's not the first time either tbh 1134
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarMisery Highlight @miseryhighlight.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Good luck with that thing you’re trying to do. 613158
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarSpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social · 28/09/2026I could go to sleep but unfortunately I’m committed to making tomorrow worse for me and everyone involved 123567
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarA Shot of Steve™ ⚡️ @stevekoehler22.bsky.social · 28/09/2026We should be able to “skip ad” when some people in real life are talking to us. 12310
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarKip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 28/09/2026I must have been 8 or 9 when my parents sat me down to explain there is no Michelin Man. 109930
Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · 28/09/2026everything i have learnt about myself i have learnt under duress 06431
Reposted by Pumpkin Escobarsweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026all of these cave paintings are about me that’s weird 516055
Reposted by Pumpkin Escobarsky @iamspacegirl.bsky.social · 11/11/2024It may look like I’m just sitting here but I’m actually nourishing a massive underground root structure, so 544883
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarComics Outta Context 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ @comiccontext.bsky.social · 28/09/2026#MondayMorning 511419
Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · 28/09/2026I said you seem obsessed with the size of my appendage she said no honestly it's just not that deep. 041
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarShade 5 @shade5.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Just think there's someone who has yet to be born that'll be preforming with Madonna at the VMAs someday. 2135666
Reposted by Pumpkin Escobar(spoo)key @lefttwix.com · 19/09/2026what if eyeballs were testicles you could see out of 2714142
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarDamnit Janet @damnitjanet.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Podcasts are actually really useful for making it sound like you're not home alone when the delivery guy brings a shameful amount of takeaway 610932
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarLizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Slept on my body weird last night. Who wants to come over and snap my spine? 57635
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarSam @samuelhlowe.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I just need to say that convincing someone that your crazy ass is emotionally stable is also catfishing. 35528
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarTim 🇨🇦 @qwertying.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I saw a scarecrow today. It looked more employable than I am. 12512
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarDaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 08/01/2026Sesame Street never prepared me for any of this 2471155
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarSkinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 25/09/2026When all else fails you really have nothing to worry about anymore 010446
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarSaltyGirl @saltssaltgirl.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Setting the bar so low that my toes touch it. Now go lower. 2166
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarShitposts In Tiaras @shitpostsintiaras.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Radical flame-inism 🔥🏆👑 Congratulations @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social from @hormonella.bsky.social 152
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarMarly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 26/09/2026*vague gesture* Yeah, yeah. The only thing to fear is fear itself but no one ever wants to carry the propane tank in a lightning storm either. 16033
Reposted by Pumpkin Escobarstrange ranger @lithiumsucks.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Nobody really wants to be the winner of the, "who had it worse growing up" competition...nobody. 57231
Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · 27/09/2026going to add a random person's handle to my bio alongside a wedding ring emoji 14021
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarFrances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 27/09/2026i'm sorry baby, i swear it'll never happen again, after the midterms 24716
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarJane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Tune in next week when I livestream my attempt to smuggle a baby giraffe through airport security. 310448
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarMrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 27/09/2026It’s 6:00 am. Do you know where your phone is? Hint: It’s in your hand. 23515
Reposted by Pumpkin EscobarSkinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 27/09/2026[Samuel L. Jackson voice] Nonsense motherfucker, do you speak it? 59037