iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Wilt thou not eat thy pizza crusts?

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Me performing your wedding ceremony - Love, respect, honesty... yeah, yeah, all good. But the real secret to a successful marriage is managing expectations.

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Canadian Bacon @tashaneedshelp.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

I’m sorry, I can’t hang out right now, I have to go poke things with a stick.

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

let's just go back to pagers and landlines guys.

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Algonquin K Farquhar II @buddhatree.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Who's up for a nice 37-bean soup

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Dumb Beezie @dumbbeezie.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

For $5 I will stand over your kid’s bed in my Ghostface costume

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Sunshine Jarboly @sunshinejarboly.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

haha, if i’m supposed to be at work right now then how come me & my friend dale are at the park fighting a door dash delivery robot?

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

For those trick-or-treaters who may have food allergies, it’s Snickers or nothing.

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Dumb Beezie @dumbbeezie.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

What if our pets just have Stockholm Syndrome

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Jack Boot @jackboot.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

When I'm struggling to pull on a turtleneck I start to worry what the world will be like when I get to the other side.

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MrsFitz @mrsfitz.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Wayne Shorter's Night Dreamer. I imagine Wayne walking around the little tube amp city, blowing that horn.

Album cover for Wayne Shorter's Night Dreamer.

Tube amp glowing, sending out beautiful sounds.

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Good day to park under a bridge and listen to your favorite AM radio station

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Leggy Pain 🇨🇦🇵🇸🇺🇦 @leggypain.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

In an ongoing effort to be the most insufferable creature you've ever encountered, I'm writing poetry now.

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Mary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I wouldn’t need an exit interview, but I would like to sit a few people down for an I Think You Suck meeting.

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Jack Boot @jackboot.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

That thing where a bunch of big shot directors all agree some old, confusing, super slow, boring film is fantastic so we all have to wade through it to keep our smarty-pants cred.

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

It has been my experience that if you let your eyebrows run wild and free you’ll never get your head stuck in a tub of margarine

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Apocalypse Now and Then

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

I can see from your pleasant expression you don’t remember me.

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Betsy Wetsy @betsyross.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

I’m thriving here I should leave

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

these must be those anals of history they’re always talking about

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alexis simpson is confused by display name changes @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

coward is short for cow award

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Mary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

I purchased a flutter sleeve leopard print blouse which, like myself, manages to be both cool and frumpy all at once.

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Blather Wince Repeat @blatherwincerepeat.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

I never truly understood what “like the cat that ate the canary” meant until I ate my first canary.

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 11/09/2026

There's only room for one neurotic person in a relationship and it needs to be me

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

You could see forever in the suffocating blue that morning

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

what you guys don't understand is if you live in California, eventually you'll swim in a swanky livestock hydrotherapy pool as a bit.

a very swanky pool that is actually a hydrotherapy pool for large farm animals in the desert

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Dumb Beezie @dumbbeezie.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

When I want a man’s attention I’ll get arrested

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Tippi Hedren Collider (now with more birds) @linanneblack.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Sorry my heart set off your dark matter detector.

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Blather Wince Repeat @blatherwincerepeat.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Avoid people who see through your shit and don’t mind telling you so.

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Mary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

If I were casting a TV show, I would have the middle sister be the tallest. Throw people off their game.

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Dumb Beezie @dumbbeezie.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

So we’re all watching Kimmel interview Talarico on YouTube to bring the most views the world has ever seen, right?

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Dead Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Watermelons and I have a lot in common like we both want to be launched off a 20 story building

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Nothing goes down harder than a cameraman in the end zone

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Leggy Pain 🇨🇦🇵🇸🇺🇦 @leggypain.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

Paint me like one of your sane girls

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

My "friends" say I'm too cynical.

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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

not to brag but I can now carry $250 worth of groceries in from the car in one trip

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Tippi Hedren Collider (now with more birds) @linanneblack.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

I know it can be a contentious issue for parents in this economy, but I'm so glad the cat didn't leave home after he finished school.

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Clowns are only scary if you allow them to glimpse your soul, Billy.

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Sunshine Jarboly @sunshinejarboly.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

last week my priest kicked me out of the confessional because i kept asking what the wifi password was.

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amberkitty 🐈‍⬛ @amberkitty.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

My skills include finishing the bag of chips and the container of dip at the same time

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Dominic Caruso @dominiccaruso1.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Pay no attention to the Minotaur, the Minotaur said, Minotaurally

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Mal a BOO 👻 @hallowedverses.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Your weirdo name is your first name followed by your last name.

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Sunshine Jarboly @sunshinejarboly.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

one time i knew a guy who was so pretentious that when he talked the lyrics of steely dan songs just came out of his mouth.

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

I can't comb my hair. My dog will bark at me

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

I wonder how God feels when he makes this beautiful tornado for you and you're praying that he saves you from it.

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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

life is just one long series of figuring out which episode you fell asleep on

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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

My first suggestion for the County Psychiatric Hospital is they should make their fence harder to climb over.

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