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YumWaffles

@yumwaffles.bsky.social
61 followers 348 following 1 posts

cool as a cucumber

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Rocco Botte @roccobotte.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Grown adults don’t eat chicken strips.
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The Fig Economy @figgityfigs.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Sometimes my wife and I like to send each other text messages as though they’re democratic fundraising messages, and I believe she has produced the jewel of the form.
, it's
and I
have some personal news to share with you.
Being a mom is one of the greatest joys of my life, and I feel deeply that we should have salad tonight
This year has been challenging in many ways, and I have immense gratitude for the kindness and support of family, community, and people like you who have continued to stand by me through everything. It means the world, and I wanted you to be among the first to know that squash is in the oven and kale is in the fridge.As many of you are aware, ve been navigating one of the most challenging periods of my day while waiting for dinner.
Facing baseless federal hunger brought on by not eating since lunch, fighting for the working kids of this country, and now caring for a mean toddler and helping him grow up in a world that isn't always easy. But it has also reminded me exactly why I do this work and who I do it for.
I will never stop working to eat dinner. I will never stop fighting for what is right, even when there is also some feta in the fridge. And I will never stop being so very thankful that you are by my side in this important work and that there is tahini in the pantry for dressing
With love and gratitude,
stop to end
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princess zandra but kinda chinese @spacehunterm.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
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nda🔞 @ndasfw.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
THE BURNINATOR
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
@mathaiaus

Twitter:

Here’s a photo of my cute children playing with their new puppy aww 
I
I
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I
I
No I didn’t say Hiroshima was good I just said it helped push the Japanese towards surrender
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Borzoibot @borzbot.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
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Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik @hatethathedgehog.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
you arent a burden. you are a human being with wants and needs. having desires does not make you selfish. unless you are sonic, in which case you are not human and everything you do sickens me.
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beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Three panel comic. An upset young woman sits at an outdoor cafe table. She says earnestly to her boyfriend, “it’s like you don’t even listen to me anymore…” Panel 2: Her boyfriend, sitting across from her at the table, is making a strained, distracted expression. He says, “babe, I’m sorry— I just—“ Panel 3: he continues, “there is something so insane behind you right now. Behind his annoyed-looking girlfriend, there is a monkey in sunglasses and a backwards cap sitting side-saddle on a parked motorbike.
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
@murrman5

[me telling my story how I survived a plane crash and lived ona deserted island for a year] it was crazy

[friend who once got a text from me where I accidentally called the grinch the grink] was the grink there?
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Jesse Hawken @jessehawken.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
“No! They expect one of us in the wreckage, brother”
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Hellanal Boner-Farter @weedlordmegadoodoo.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
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J HELL P @jlp.systems · 24/09/2026
I had to make this a jingle
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Mike Ginn @shutupmikeginn.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
porn is so deeply misogynistic. i just watched a video with dozens of performers going at it, and they literally hadn’t bothered to hire a single woman.
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ironghazi @ironghazi.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
[crappin’ my ass off on the toliet] *unmutes Teams to say something at the exact moment a turd bloinks into the water* No concerns
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Gangly Bitch @gangly-bitch.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
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Chris Person @papapishu.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Me and the fellas were about to get together and select one of three potential starting weapons, each with their own unique strengths and weaknesses.
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lukelukeluke @lukelukeluke.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Me: I’d like a slice of pizza Server: that comes with three sides Me: I know what shape it is
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
@Senn_Spud

(Repairing wrecked boat village boy approaches with picture from my pack) Bahu bah? {Monster}

Me: No bahu bah. Marmaduke...Buha bet {Friend}

Boy: Mar-ma-duke...Your?

Me: Not mine. Everybodys. {confused look} he is...like Wind. Everyones

Boy {grinning} Marmaduke is like Wind
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andy.scrolling.fright @andy.scrolling.site · 15/09/2026
We saw Yoda at the gym last night, he kept getting flung off the stairmill. Kept saying “help me, you must not”. Wearing his old Dagobah State shirt. Probably fell 12 times while I was there
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Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
I should be able to bonk my head to my dog's little head and download his thoughts that way. What kind of god doesn't put that feature in
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
@TOS_Violator

the only lasting 9/11 memory i have is when the budweiser ad with the kneeling clydesdales came on during the super bowl and i said "those horses are praying to mecca" and my friend's uncle got so mad that he had to go in the backyard
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Mike X. Nichols @mikexnichols.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Thinking about this exchange today
A YouTube video for the Water Temple in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. The comments section has an exchange as detailed below. “@TheMrdangles16 • 11y ago: 
i hate the water temple... too confusing :(“ “@KeithHalsell • 2y ago: 
it's been 9 years, i hope you are doing great in life now.” “@TheMrdangles16 • 2y ago: it couldn't be going worse Keith.”
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🐺Cold🪦Sam🪾 @pdfmerchant.bsky.social · 10/07/2025
This is his time.
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ceej @ceej.online · 12/06/2024
My wife, a prodigious sleep-talker, failed to disclose her affliction when we started dating, which led to the fright of my life the night she sat bolt upright in bed and in a low flat monotone loudly declared that “THIRTEEN BABIES REMAIN UNFATHERED.”
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ceej @ceej.online · 04/03/2026
sometimes a coworker will drop offhand a piece of lore that feels like finding an audio log in a survival horror game
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Blaise Boo-lysse Bernard Collins @wittywebhandle.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Superman (2025) scene where he's losing his cool

Post from @pastapilled

It takes strength to be gentle and kind you stupid fucking idiot
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Dakota DeGarmo (Commissions open) @dakotamacdoodle.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
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Supper Mario Broth @mariobrothblog.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Super Mario Galaxy 2 contains an unused "yellow zone" that, upon entering it, makes Mario yellow. Being yellow makes Mario run faster.
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🅺🅴🅴🆂🅷.work🏳️‍🌈💜 24/7 Plompy 🔜Infurnity 2026 ⏭️JMoF 2027 @keesh.work · 21/11/2025
found y'all favorite drink
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Nintendo of America [Twitter/X Parody] @nintendooamerica.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Hey! Look over here! You can press the Ⓐ 𝘽𝙪𝙩𝙩𝙤𝙣 to make me shake my queer little ass.
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ceej @ceej.online · 13/01/2025
not good
bluesky screenshot "Dracula liked your post - 1m"
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T1J @the1janitor.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
a common taunt that shredder would say to the ninja tutles was "tonight i dine on turtle soup". threatening to literally eat your enemy is pretty hardcore
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Jesse Boo-rascia 👻 @jesseguarascia.com · 01/09/2026
Critically acclaimed strategy game made by veterans of the genre set in the universe of a beloved IP published by one of the biggest names in the industry and the devs get fucked over despite it all? Close enough, welcome back Marvel’s Midnight Suns
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videogame history @vghistory.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
the sims: hot date, magazine screenshot, pc (2002) archive.org/details/PCG....
a room inside a house is on raging fire as a firefighter tries to put it out. outside, on tiles, someone wearing white is playing a pinball machine. beond this is a picket fence and green grass. isometric view.
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Kae Kolormore @kaekolormore.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
many of you
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turtle @turtle.labeledrude.online · 23/12/2024
GERALT: Hhh. Seven Monster cans. Empty. And a diet Dr Pepper. If you're lucky, you've got a pack of small gamers. VILLAGE HEADSMAN: And...and if we're not lucky? GERALT: One really big one.
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Mr Drinking a Beer @abigbagofkeys.sickonedude.com · 29/08/2026
One of your HOMIES is hungry. You can equip your HOMIES with FOOD from the HOMIES menu. Try assigning the BURGER you just purchased to GREGOR.
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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 13/09/2024
There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done
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ceej @ceej.online · 26/08/2026
He had the pointy cheekbones and sharp, angular lips of a white Unreal Engine 3 protagonist
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Tweet from Zach Dunn (@zachbdunn):

NEW JAMES BOND MOVIE: James if you can't overcome your generational trauma you'll never discover what it means to truly sacrifice

OLD JAMES BOND MOVIE: My name is Rebecca Ass
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Sarah McAnulty, Ph.D. @sarahmackattack.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Sometimes I’ll open threads and immediately be hit with truths I never would expect to find there.
A Threads post by somebody called Georgie Porgie and it says no browse tomorrow for anybody tits at half mast for Dolly
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Tim Price @timprice.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
@Agos226 • 1y ago (edited)
My dad walked in on me playing kingdom hearts as a kid and I told him I was killing a boss and he said "I wish I could kill my boss" and left
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David_j_roth @davidjroth.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
When your wife drinks half a can of seltzer and then just leaves it somewhere
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journeyman folklorist @aniceburrito.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Naturally occurring spring of cream soda
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ceej @ceej.online · 23/08/2026
it’s wild how the single greatest learned skill most everyone acquires, as in: you had to be taught to do it, you started out doing it poorly, you gained proficiency over time, and now you do it every day, without really thinking about it, to an extremely high degree of accuracy, is wiping your ass
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amy brown 👻 @amybrown.xyz · 23/08/2026
we’re at costco and my husband ordered a hot dog from the cashier and the guy said “what flavor” and my husband said wat and costco guy said “jk there’s only one flavor. it’s hot dog” and my husband said dammit you did this to me last time and the costco cashier collapsed in giggles
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ceej @ceej.online · 24/11/2024
trying to pull on a sock while sitting on the toilet and blacking out like a fighter pilot pulling high Gs
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 28/10/2025
Cookie Monster’s date: Can we talk about something else
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Seth Rosenthal @sethrosenthal.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
home technology is headed in a Jetsons direction when it should be moving toward Flintstones. No one needs a smart refrigerator but i do want a turtle to wash my ass
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