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Clarrie Maguire

@problemchimp.bsky.social
182 followers 183 following 740 posts

Sometimes bread is better.

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Clarrie Maguire @problemchimp.bsky.social · 1h
Aargh!
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Jennifer Wright @jenashleywright.bsky.social · 13/12/2025
Michael C. Rockefeller got shipwrecked in 1963, washed up on an island, and was promptly eaten by cannibals.
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Richard Smyth @rsmythfreelance.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Google Photos used to say Happy Memories! or Remember This Day? and now it says 2023 Lore because software has to have a personality now and the personality it has to have is "a cunt".
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Ash @queerash.bsky.social · 15h
adding '5 British doggers' to the list of surprising defeats for the US military, alongside the IRGC, Viet Cong, and geography
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Prof Frank McDonough @fxmc1957.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
4 October 1936. Battle of Cable Street took place in Cable Street, Whitechapel, London. It was a clash between the Metropolitan Police, protecting a march by the British Union of Fascists (BUF) led by Sir Oswald Mosley and various anti-fascist and Jewish demonstrators.
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Humor Satire Memes @funnysnarkyjoke.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
@hansmollman.bsky.social
@hansmollman   

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Murdery Steve, he has never been questioned”
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Daniel Kibblesmith @kibblesmith.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
People love to say “ACTUALLY, Puff the Magic Dragon is about weed” Did it ever occur to you that people smoking a bunch of weed would very happily also write a song about a literal dragon.
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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 03/10/2026
"I should get to sit down when I work but you shouldn't" is a great high level summary of labor disputes
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Al Kennedy @alkennedy.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Everyone knows that most guys have a bad Kermit impression and a bad Jimmy Stewart impression just hair-trigger primed to deploy, but less well known is that for those of us of a certain age, we also have a bad Suzy Izzard impression on the stocks
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Jonathan Edwards @jontofski.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Rock (Hudson) & Chips at Rita’s Cafe, Morecambe.
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Dave Bagpuss Forsey ☕️ @bagpuss.org · 02/10/2026
Jones, Tom Jones, Tom Oh it's Jones, Tom Comes from Pontypridd and really wants to fuck your mom* #totp
Tom Jones looking out of his ancient TV.
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Frances Ryan @francesryan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Disability doesn’t care how old you are. Specialist food is no cheaper if you’re 19. Employers don’t lose their prejudice if you’re 21. This is blatant intergenerational inequality from Labour. Younger disabled people of all severities deserve better. www.theguardian.com/politics/202...
theguardian.com
Key disability benefit for young people may be axed under major welfare changes
Exclusive: Plan under discussion involves intensive support to help young people into employment
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Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
JD Vance’s sofa just turned up on Marketplace.
Sofa Cum Bed - For Sale
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maura quint @mauraquint.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Yes every woman has been harassed, many assaulted. But every woman has also experienced invisible loss from moments she avoided harassment. She felt a space becoming unsafe, so she left, while men stayed on. And in leaving, she lost: opportunities, experiences, learning, promotions, even simply fun.
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Comicsbeat @comicsbeat.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Artist Dan Boultwood was given a suspended sentence earlier this year for grooming and abusing a 15-year old in 2010, and his victim would like to know if there were others like her.
comicsbeat.com
CHU artist Dan Boultwood pleaded guilty to preying on a minor
Dan Boultwood was given a suspended three-year sentence earlier this year, for grooming and abusing illustrator Maddie Williams when she was a 15-year old fan in 2010.
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Dropout @dropout.tv · 30/09/2026
If you haven't watched Hundreds of Beavers (now available on Dropout for US subscribers), we highly recommend you do that immediately watch.dropout.tv/hundreds-of...
watch.dropout.tv
Hundreds of Beavers - Dropout
A drunk salesman battles hundreds of beavers to become North America's greatest 19th century trapper.
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Ed Burmila @edburmila.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Proud Graduate of the Mr Hulot School of Normal Posture
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Amy @lolennui.bsky.social · 19/12/2024
MrBeast is what Lucille Bluth thinks every Avenger is called
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Alex Morris @asjmorris.bsky.social · 14/09/2024
Continuing on the Popeye tip, I was delighted to rediscover in an old scrapbook that I'd kept these stickers from the early 1990s, handed out by our (then) local pizza takeaway, 'Popeye Pizza' off Mare Street, Hackney. I don't believe they were affiliated with Kings Features Syndicate.
A sticker for Popeye Pizza. Popeye is driving in his trademark red 5-door Austin Metro. His pipe is emerging from the back side of his cheek and his legs are protruding from the bottom of the car's clearly fucked chassis. The text across the top reads: "POPEYE PIZZA". A circle reads "In this AREA We are best". The slogan at the bottom says" "Hey if you want very testy & Delicious PIZZA. CALL US"A Popeye Pizza sticker. Another crudely drawn Popeye, this time in a more traditional boat, but a boat that appears to be carelessly emitting a cloud of raw effluent, which a fish is jumping out of the way to avoid. The pugnacious mariner's clay pipe still appears to be stuck in the back of one of his cheeks since it's nowhere near his mouth. The slogan reads: "Sailor-Man PROMISSING You that PIZZA Will Reach You Very Soon." another one reads: "when you CALL US".Another Popeye Pizza sticker. This time Popeye is riding a delivery moped with the slogan "DELIVERY MAN" carefully sidestepping any possible "SAILOR MAN" legal confusion. The slogan reads, semi-apologetically: "We are New But What A Taste"A final Popeye Pizza sticker with Popeye in a more easily traced, 'Trad. Popeye' pose with can of spinach in one hand and the other arm ending in a clenched fist. The ad claims: "I will Get MORE PIZZA ENERGY ENERGY ENERGY"
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Alex Morris @asjmorris.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Now seems as good a time as any to post the plasticine Frank Muir that I built for the ‘Amateur Frank Muir Modeller’ Viz ad back in 2006.
A plasticine model of Frank Muir.
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Adam Roberts @adamroberts.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
" ... and if you get it wrong, you get a flight next time ..."
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Clarrie Maguire @problemchimp.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Sadly I’m going to be busy doing other stuff this year, but The Big Scream is always a blast. Their showing of The Tingler was one of my all time favourite cinema experiences.
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Joel Morris @gralefrit.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Morning. Last week I found out for the first time that Champion The Wonder Horse (stalwart black and white 50s schedule filler up to 1993) was a spin-off. Champion was Gene Autry’s horse, and it was a 1955 cash in on the success of the Gene Autry Show. He’s like horse Frasier.
Champignon, Le Cheval Merveilleux
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Ste Kilb @waspdodger.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
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Dave Convery @zomda.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I’ve got an idea Satya, if you have a bunch of “developers” they can produce “games” which you can then “sell” in exchange for “money”.
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Clarrie Maguire @problemchimp.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
‘Devastating Prank - Spouse Believed They Were About To Get An Evening Alone.’
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Tim Gaedke @timgaedke.com · 26/09/2026
talent is a lie
a cartoon picture of a frog throwing a crooked looking clay vase with the words “talent is a lie, just do it anyway”
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Stephen Gallagher @stephengallagher.co.uk · 19/09/2026
I've added a new feature to my website where I'll make a selection of script pitches, outlines, and early drafts available for download. The PDFs themselves will be password protected in a futile attempt to keep the scrapers at bay, but the code's right there. First up, John Buchan's The 39 Steps
stephengallagher.com
Downloads – Stephen Gallagher
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Lucy Fishwife 🥐 @lucyfishwife.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Revelations from the Antony Beevor event: Rasputin, whose chatup line was “you have sad eyes, does he treat you badly”, may have been the first employer of the “hey baby what’s wrong” move
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Talia "ATTACK DOGS is out now!" Bhatt ⚢ @taliabhatt.itch.io · 27/09/2026
Transphobia is genuinely an elite fixation that is much less popular than most politicians and media outlets would have you believe.
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Ray Newman @raynewman.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Good morning. Today, I'm going to give a little push to my second collection of stories, 'Intervals of Darkness', from 2024, partly because I think of it as particularly autumnal. www.amazon.co.uk/Intervals-Da...
The cover of Intervals of Darkness in black and red with an image of a figure being stalked through a dark space by an unseen figure, with a quote from author John Grindrod: "Existing somewhere between Robert Aickman and J.G. Ballard, these blackly funny tales are sure to chill you, no matter how high you turn the central heating."
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Mike Ginn @shutupmikeginn.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
porn is so deeply misogynistic. i just watched a video with dozens of performers going at it, and they literally hadn’t bothered to hire a single woman.
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Kate Watson @loreandordure.com · 26/09/2026
Yes. Understanding my struggles through a lens other than being a moral failure helps me. The meds help me be an almost functional human being. My adult ADHD diagnosis has been life-changing. I want that for others it would help; fuck you for not wanting that for other people too.
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Bylines Network @bylinesnetwork.co.uk · 25/09/2026
M&S Custard Cream Spread: Britain has completed food One jar of M&S Custard Cream Spread has caused us to question civilisation, breakfast, mashed potato and the limits of human restraint @willyandbill.bsky.social
centralbylines.co.uk
M&S Custard Cream Spread: Britain has completed food
One jar of M&S Custard Cream Spread has caused us to question civilisation, breakfast, mashed potato and the limits of human restraint
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JW Mason @jwmason.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
This is the master key to deciphering contemporary debates about free speech. www.lrb.co.uk/blog/2026/se...
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Ed Maibach @maibached.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Happy Stanislav Petrov Day He passed in 2017. As Encyclopedia Britannica puts it, “He is survived by his two children, two grandchildren, and the entire human race.” If you don't know his story, please take 3 minutes now to learn it. @gchalliance.bsky.social @docsforclimate.bsky.social
sammatey.substack.com
Happy Stanislav Petrov Day
Take five minutes to not destroy civilization
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Matt Baume 🏳️‍🌈 @mattbaume.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
The movie ROPE came out on this day in 1948, and newspapers really struggled with how to explain that the main characters were, you know,
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Adam Roberts @adamroberts.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
" ... please make yourself aware of your nearest chance for redemption, which may be behind you ..."
A photograph of Pope Leo, standing inside a plane, addressing a number of seated passengers
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Ed Morrish @edmorrish.com · 26/09/2026
sad to hear about piers morgan he’s not dead. it’s just that every time i hear about him, i’m sad
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bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
my sister’s husband did not get me this job so that you could just waltz in with your americano and your two napkins and just shit all over four proud months of tradition at Pyooblr, the number 2 pube grooming app
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Clarrie Maguire @problemchimp.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Project 2: Mill Road Funicular.
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Clarrie Maguire @problemchimp.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Is… is muggy gay sex something Cambridge currently lacks in quantity?
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Clarrie Maguire @problemchimp.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Pob lwc!
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Hieronymous J Doom @hjdoom.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I've done your birth chart and consulted my spirit guide and it turns out your great grandma was into some seriously messed up stuff in the bedroom.
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Clarrie Maguire @problemchimp.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
All that is required for evil to triumph is for good men to say nothing (about very minor points of ambiguous etymology). I think that’s how the saying goes anyway.
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
“You don’t really care for music uwu” Kawaii Leonard Cohen
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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 24/09/2026
ME: So I can't put anything else on the scale? ANUBIS: No. Just your heart ME: No money, no good deeds? ANUBIS: No ME: What about steam points? I've got a ton of steam points ANUBIS: The point is to be lighter than the feather ME: I was just hoping to finally do something with the steam points
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Clarrie Maguire @problemchimp.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I mean, I’m saying this with an avatar that’s literally a photo of me aged two looking like the evidence you needed to resolve the haunting:
An old, stained, photo of a toddler in a pink dress sat on a wall in front of a council house. She looks furious and it is the most haunted shit you have ever 
seen.
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Clarrie Maguire @problemchimp.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I didn’t grow up in Milton Keynes but this picture is reminding me of a conversation between my brother and I. He and his regular playmate were both very skinny, big headed, children and we grew up skint on a council estate. As a result every photo looks like it was found in a ruin after a war.
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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
God, grant me the courage to change the things I can and incredible new powers to change the things I can't.
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