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kess.bsky.social

@kess.bsky.social
61 followers 33 following 45 posts
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
“You don’t really care for music uwu” Kawaii Leonard Cohen
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
In honour of the inaugural game of the @wpbl.bsky.social, a match-up poster in the style of my old #blaseball ones. Let's Go Heights, Baby Love Da Heights
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
Depluralise a movie Jumanjo
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 16/01/2026
I can finally watch Star Trek: Starfleet Academy in peace I’ve worked out that who Sam reminds me of is Little Cook from the 2022 version of Big Cook Little Cook
Kerrice Brooks as a Starfleet cadet, with space buns and a can do attitudeCourtney Bowman as a tiny cooking human, with space buns and a can do attitude
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 08/11/2025
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 22/09/2025
GWARSH #DisneyMetal
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 15/09/2025
There's a scene in the first Hobbit film which goes Sylvester McCoy as Radagast: I'll draw them off Gandalf: These are Gundaberg wargs, they'll out run you Radagast: These are Rhosgobel rabbits, *extremely intensely* I'D LIKE TO SEE THEM TRY I wish I'd been at that match
A poster in the style of a sports match advertising the Gundabad Wargs vs the Rhosgobel Rabbits
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 26/07/2025
The greatest gift that loving the Railway Children as a kid has given me is seeing two characters have the most minor interaction and saying “they’ll have to marry now”
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 05/07/2025
You’re one microscopic club in his catastrophic plan
Poster that says right hand clubs (red)
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 13/06/2025
My ongoing Blaseball curse is that I will keep having ideas for matchup posters, possibly forever
A poster for a blaseball game between the Charleston Shoe Thieves and the San Francisco Lovers. The tag line is Rogue / Like
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 15/01/2025
Why doesn’t Daredevil just talk to the Hand?
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 13/12/2024
I have a white whale. An albatross. Seven years ago I watched a Christmas film called the 12 Gifts of Christmas that I’ve been trying, and failing, to find again. It’s never been anywhere. But I’ve just found that it’s GONE UP ON PRIME Is it a good film? Absolutely not, no
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 09/12/2024
Sounds painful
A clay kit to make a unicorn called Sparky Glanz
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
I'm designing @alkennedy.bsky.social t-shirts for Christmas. Here's an Over the Garden Wall design I didn't end up going with
T-shirt design of a turtle with a sweet stuck on its back, with the words "we're here to burgle your turts"
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 28/11/2024
I’ve ended up on ice hockey tiktok and discovered there’s a player called Jack Hughes I hope he has fans and I hope they all dress like Poirot
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 23/11/2024
Dragons, I’m asking for several million pounds for my golden idea: the Aardvent Calendar An advent calendar full of Aardman Animation Christmas tree decorations. Feathers McGraw in a Santa hat. That rat from Flushed Away hilariously tangled up in red ribbon. The Pirates! In An Adventure With Holly
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 23/11/2024
Thinking about how The Railway Children begins “They were not Railway Children, to begin with”, and how that could be an all-purpose first line. “He was not the Great Gatsby, to begin with.” “They were neither the Master nor Margarita, to begin with.” “We were not the Watchmen, to begin with.”
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 05/08/2024
Audio books are amazing I had an audio book version of the Magician’s Nephew as a kid and I still quote the incredibly scenery-chewing way she has Jadis say “SUCH WAS CHARN”, like its the official, agreed reading
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 03/08/2024
I’ve just realised my issue with men’s gymnastics Their leggings have socks built in and it makes them look like smurfs
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 01/08/2024
Taking into account population (in favour of smaller countries) the countries with the most medals in Tokyo were 1 San Marino (by a LOT) 2 Bermuda 3 Granada 4 Bahamas 5 New Zealand 6 Jamaica 7 Slovenia 8 Fiji 9 Georgia 10 Netherlands
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 01/08/2024
I always think Olympic medal tables should account - at the very least - for population size. If you have loads of people in your country, it’s way easier to find people who are good at specific sports
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 28/05/2024
My expensive perfume and candle making vision? I’m glad you asked: 1. hire Macaulay Culkin 2. get him to slap on some Cypress & Grapevine Cologne Intense and then scream 3. fade in logo JO 🏠 MALONE 4. profit
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 21/02/2024
Biblically accurate Mod
A black and white photo of a Mod on a moped that has a terrifying amount of lights on the front and mirrors sprouting out of either side
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 17/12/2023
It would be cool to have extra toes because then you could decide the outcomes for a load of non-canon little piggies
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 25/11/2023
Happy we finally have a Tardis that you could stage Starlight Express in
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 20/11/2023
Love lies bleeding is a real downer name for a flower The final verb should be more ambiguous, something where you need to clarify “in a… good way?”, like Love Lies LARPing
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 22/10/2023
I was looking back over a Deck of Many Things I made for @alkennedy.bsky.social I think I still like the panopticon donjon the most
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 05/10/2023
Lucy Beaumont said on Taskmaster that she’s 5’1.5” and was an inch off being cast as Mickey Mouse at a Disney thing. What she didn’t mention, and what I just learned from googling Disney character height requirements, is that she was an inch too tall. Which means I COULD YET BECOME MICKEY MOUSE
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 20/08/2023
Crying screaming throwing up
See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil monkeys who could also be said to be crying, screaming and throwing up
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 18/08/2023
Me, reading: “he did WHAT? Where’s my glock?” Me, confused: how would a glockenspiel improve this situation?
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 07/08/2023
Me whenever I have enter my pin to pay for something: these beeps are unsatisfying. why don’t they assign notes to these? Me immediately after: oh yeah
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 26/07/2023
I mean, extreme same
Sign from National Galleries Scotland reading: Apologies for my appearance, I am a work in progress
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 23/07/2023
Imagining a Sharks and Jets style fight where one side is really into dinosaurs and the other are extremely angry about dinosaurs and everyone’s wearing this shirt
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kess.bsky.social @kess.bsky.social · 22/07/2023
A reassuring constant for the last 25 years is lyric sites totally missing the “what’s a Grecian urn?” joke in Zero to Hero in Disney’s Hercules Spotify raising the bar by also adding an extra e and z to Grecian tho
Lyrics from Zero to Hero in Disney’s Hercules on Spotify. It should read “he could tell you what’s a Grecian Urn” and instead reads “he could tell you what the Greecizns earn”
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