iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

koi fish that kill you @koifishthatkillyou.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

call me EZ Pass the way you can run me through the Northeastern United States

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koi fish that kill you @koifishthatkillyou.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

terf icarly theme remix be like: 🎵it’s all for free 🎶 i’m telling you just how to pee 🎵

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acabylon 👻👻 BOO 👻👻 @acabylonbee.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

i call him Bitch McConnell because i hate him. and women

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gwen 🌶️👹 @gwenpepperoni.myatproto.social · 14/09/2026

MITCH MCCONNELL TO REPLACE MACKLEMORE ON ED SHEERAN TOUR

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alexis simpson is confused by display name changes @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

orthopedics? yeah duh i mean where else is the pee supposed to come from

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The Hell Curve @thehellcurve.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

My fondest post-9/11 memory was the Yankees losing the World Series the only time most of the country was behind them.

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harpy @harpy.party · 07/06/2026

if i was Paddington Bear I'd be feasting on British people until Scotland Yard killed me in a hail of gunfire

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farner @farnerb0cken.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

[sitting behind the wheel completely naked with a donut around my stiff erection] hello officer

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koi fish that kill you @koifishthatkillyou.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

foley supervisor? they were doing catheters on set?

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Pookleblinky @pookleblinky.bsky.social · 03/02/2025

Why did they stop at garlic knots. Those cowards could have invented garlic shibari, but didn't.

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　　　the　　　 ghostes @rem.bsjky.team · 24/04/2024

vinegar that denies itself all pleasures call that ascetic acid

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William B. Fuckley @opinionhaver.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

Could an ‘empire in decline’ produce this many hazy IPAs?

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alexis simpson is confused by display name changes @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

having girl dinner (the ritual blood of my enemies from the ceremonial cup upon the high table) 💅

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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

Microdosing being a horse by asking for a water I’m not gonna drink

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Ruby KoBOOld👻🎃 ΔΘ 🌹 @fluffyscales.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

That which doesn’t kill you makes a very funny story that you tell your friends and instead of laughing they ask if you’re okay and that’s how you find out it’s not a very funny story at all actually

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Truckstop Vigilante @brenthor.bsky.social · 08/10/2025

*mouth all red*: i gotta refill the hummingbird feeder. Something musta got into it

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autumn coded @hoovybaby.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

Adding cocaine to my Barq’s call that Zoot Beer

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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

I'm sorry I threatened to end your bloodline in an "orgy of blood and violence not seen since Caligala discovered dick pills"

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Raysident Evil @sireviscerate.myatproto.social · 31/07/2026

Each of the 7 executioners in the firing line squad decided independently it would be hilarious if one of them shoots me in the balls this time.

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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

2 in the pink 1 in the panther

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Truckstop Vigilante @brenthor.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

You should NOT be drinking water. Things like coffee and soda taste so much better and theyre made mostly of water. Beer is another one. Its mostly water, guys. Big Water is lying to you

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an dipshit™ @andipshit.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

bagpipe fulla cum

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koi fish that kill you @koifishthatkillyou.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

my FBI agent just used my wifi to scan my baby and spoil the fucking gender reveal because i keep being mysterious and plausibly deniable online

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Canadian Bacon @tashaneedshelp.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

Gonna keep drinking coffee until my body gets up and starts moving on its own.

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an dipshit™ @andipshit.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

One must imagine Sisyphus horny as all get out

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koi fish that kill you @koifishthatkillyou.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

of course i kink shame, i love to kink shame. i think everyone but me fucks weird. why is that so hard for people to accept?

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Lontar 론타르 @lontar.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

Taco Bell Foot Lettuce

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koi fish that kill you @koifishthatkillyou.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

@burgerkingcorpus.bsky.social Number 15: Burger king diarrhea lettuce. The last thing you'd want in your Burger King burger is someone's Cyclosporiasis. But as it turns out, that might be what you get.

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Frances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 13/07/2026

look i told you already, i don't have explosive diarrhea. it's regular diarrhea. i just lit a cherry bomb in the bowl.

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Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

He died as he lived: ignoring good advice and treating healthcare like some kind of fucking joke.

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Mike X. Nichols @mikexnichols.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

if you’re in line waiting for Mitch McConnell to die, stay in line

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Diedrich Bader @diedrichbader.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

Well, we may have lost but at least we look like we cheated

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Ed Morrish @edmorrish.com · 03/07/2026

oh my god calm down you’re being hysterical your honor

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👻PeeTomb🐺🍺👻 @geraldelephants.bsky.social · 01/07/2026

I can sand and polish a cherry wood table to a beautiful sheen with my tongue

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HunterKiller @holybible.bsky.social · 27/06/2026

Tgirl w a small penis call that shrimp on the barbie

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🌑 @fell.energy · 25/06/2026

being annoying is a biological imperative for me sorry

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skáld @danglinghemmie.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

got an ancient high flow toilet in the downstairs bathroom im terrified of breaking cause that thing can flush a softball

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Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans) @iwriteok.bsky.social · 21/06/2026

woke up this morning with the phrase, "Ork pronouns, 'e / 'em" stuck in my brain so there you all go

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Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 21/06/2026

Three things can be true, I have more self control around food now than I did before, I have a less adversarial relationship with the backyard sprinklers than I did before, and it was at the very least incredibly rude for my wife to hire Cesar Millan to train a human husband.

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Idle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 15/06/2026

Hospitals draw an arrow on your stomach just in case the surgical team forgets which side is your face and which side is your ass.

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josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 11/06/2026

The story of Icarus provides us with a valuable lesson: never fuck up real bad

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Hand Remover @hughneill.bsky.social · 11/06/2026

“this sucks” means something is bad. “this fucks” means something is good. “i suck and fuck” is a value-neutral statement of one’s skillset. forgot where i was going with this. real sleepy right now tbh

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autumn coded @hoovybaby.bsky.social · 04/06/2026

two girls one world cup

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ꜱ ᴛ ᴀ ʀ ʙ ʟ ᴏ ᴏ ᴅ @yurei.bsky.social · 09/06/2026

Me: im gonna be a lil late Boss: can you explain why? Me: revolution calling

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