iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Reposted by Ppallo

Grobian Syboe @grobiansyboe.bsky.social · 09/04/2026

"One for The City, two for The Hive, three for The Jelly that keeps us alive, four for The Mayor, five for The Queen, Six for The Hand that remains unseen, Seven for The Cell, 8 for The Wall, and nine for The Gate that guards us all." -Bee Rhyme

327669

Reposted by Ppallo

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 24/05/2025

Is the water here good? Aye you can drink it miss, but it is bad water. Foul water, morally evil water. But it is potable, and we do not recommend buying any bottled water, there is simply no need. Enjoy.

27811

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I was about 34-years-old when I realised that my classmate from Ohio who moved to Helsinki for two years when he was eleven probably wasn't actually a Wu-Tang Clan affiliate. He most likely lied about that. I handled the revelation well, only took four days off work to process it.

1262

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

A wealthy aunt of mine routinely bets large sums of money on "prediction markets" that I will find a girlfriend before my 40th birthday. She doesn't believe I will of course, but if she can pay 1500 dollars to make her fourth favourite nephew think he has a 30% chance of coupling up, why not do so?

0181

Reposted by Ppallo

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 20/05/2025

Fastest man I ever saw was from two villages away, he raced a local champion mare over five furlongs one rainy morning. The press stayed home dry. But I saw that kid win by fifty paces. He never raced again, after the war he focused on Jai alai, which he was poor at, but loved.

0472

Reposted by Ppallo

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 09/11/2023

A team of researchers has come to the conclusion that I am not actually sentient, only capable of a high degree of rote memorization "like some parrots". They're very thrilled about it, I find it all very offensive, but only succeed in verbalising that about 70% of the time.

08912

Reposted by Ppallo

Steven (with a PH) @sjksalisbury.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Christening a baby is nothing like christening a ship. I know that now. Once again I can only apologise.

158190683829

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Made the jumbotron at the hockey game today, apparently I'm the fan the players of both teams agree is least sexually threatening. Pretty specific category but it's all in good fun. They also came back to it later when announcing the attendance, bit much that, but I'm a good sport.

0200

Reposted by Ppallo

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 20/02/2026

In a better world, not a great one necessarily, but a better one, a "polymarket" would be a dating service for slightly annoying people who nonetheless had more sex by volume than any charismatic and conventionally attractive person you have ever met.

1313

Reposted by Ppallo

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

I have instructed the front desk to no longer simply say we offer all the basic creature comforts but to specify that while we aim to ensure all guests have a wonderful stay we cannot and will not accommodate Yetis or Yeti-adjacent bipeds.

0253

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Bachelor weekend as my wife is at a wedding in the city, her former mistress asked my wife to walk her down the aisle. The newlyweds will keep living at our pied-à-terre, my wife suggested we give it to them as our gift, but I still have my male pride, so free rent and a toaster it is.

0141

Reposted by Ppallo

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 30/01/2025

Last remaining native speaker of dying language so personally off-putting and difficult, linguists prefer to work around him. "To me the last man to speak the language died in 2012, one fluent, strip video poker addicted, rat remains" a leading researcher commented.

01039

Reposted by Ppallo

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 31/10/2025

My demanding sister, the lady of the house who I financially depend upon, is furious I called her acquaintance Serena's horse a "handsome beast". Apparently the horse is obviously not good enough for Serena and she's embarrassed of it. "Anyone" could have seen this I am told.

1659

Reposted by Ppallo

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 07/12/2023

My lawyer friend's himbo boytoy, who I'm seated next to, is asking me to explain the host's "Denial is not just a river in Egypt!" joke for the third time. He is very sweet, unbelievable eyes, and I'm sure he'll be a great "aura healer", but I truly can't explain it more clearly.

0323

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Laura is asking for the Wife NFT I have of her in the divorce, and it's like either "it's a fake thing that you were an idiot to pay 10k for" or it's "creepy and I don't want you to keep it" but it can't be both.

0364

Reposted by Ppallo

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 24/09/2025

Famous for saying he is "cursed". The son of Louisiana's second largest Burger Franchisee Dickie "Papa" Carter, Robert was a keen Ultimate Frisbee player in his youth, but chose a more lucrative career in golf at the behest of his father and his first, and later his father's third, wife Laurene.

0192

Reposted by Ppallo

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 10/06/2025

My neighbour recently told me her 16-year-old son is "practically a professional sleeper", I hate parents who push unrealistic expectations on their kids like that. This lad wouldn't have a chance on any of the mini tours, he is at best an ok amateur snoozer. Neighbour needs to wake up.

211810

Reposted by Ppallo

Smalls @shutupsmalls.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Hugh J. Ward, a name from the Wikipedia page Bingo (American version) and @cheatlines.co’s next display name 🏆

In the early 1920s, Hugh J. Ward created and standardized the game at carnivals in and around Pittsburgh and the Western Pennsylvania area. He copyrighted it and published a rule book in 1933.[2]

0141

Reposted by Ppallo

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 01/02/2026

Play-by-play announcer briefly struck by the majestic grandeur of the moment as the kicker runs on the field amidst a snowstorm: "They should have sent a poet, Joe." Colour commentator staying on task: "It's a difficult distance even for a professional placekicker, Carl."

0506

Reposted by Ppallo

Azure Emerald Empire @azureemeraldempire.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

New York Times feature: For a brief moment, Solar Heavy’s music was everywhere. Then it went silent.

051

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

I understand that it has become a phrase partially divorced from its original meaning but it is funny to see articles talking about the "Rise and Fall of Neom". No rise, was never going to happen and didn't. The rise and fall of my intimate relationship with Miss Universe.

2310

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

My chances of making partner at the firm just took a big hit as people have started speculating that my signature phrase, and really the only advice I have given clients over 16 years, "Don't plan to hire a Welsh farmhand, if you have an Irish shovel" may be nonsense.

1533

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

Tennis tournaments should start calling Wild Card spots something else if they so steadfastly refuse to get wild with it. Oh you picked a guy who's only 160th in the world? Dan Quayle is playing Carlos Alcaraz. Rebecca Black is in the tournament. Let's get the Pope out there on clay.

3202

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

People in town are envious of the little elf's cozy home in a log, though it is not the log that they covet, there are plenty in the woods. Rather they too wish they could be happy with so little. They make nasty comments about the kind creature, luckily he only understands song.

0517

Reposted by Ppallo

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 16/04/2026

My only brush with fame was appearing in the background of a few scenes of two reality stars' vacation sex tape. I just happened to be on holiday with them. In one scene they are filming themselves making out on a yacht and you can hear me talking about how "fruit is better here".

1625

Reposted by Ppallo

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

I have not been able to speak to the rivers after the last thylacine died in 1936, I can still speak with fungi, but I prefer not to. Their world is alien to me and their language is old and queer. Instead I focus on moderating a subreddit focused on pictures of greaser chicks.

023335

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

023335

Reposted by Ppallo

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

The leadership of sport governing bodies is one of the few roles best handled by royals and the traditional high nobility. It is wholly unsuited to burghers, and even less to the slippery creature that is the modern lawyer. The aristocracy shouldn't run the world, but horses for courses.

0241

Reposted by Ppallo

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

(Looking at a mighty old oak tree in awe) "They don't make them like that anymore." (Turning to the slightly younger oak tree next to it) "I don't mean to offend."

1372

Reposted by Ppallo

Emil A. Meal @emilameal.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

if i’m the one picking it off your head it is up to me to decide if it’s worth tasting/eating

0245

Reposted by Ppallo

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

I was for many years known as the poorest person to have a town car with a driver. In fact Felix's salary was often 90-95% of my after tax income. But everything in life is about priorities, I would rather be driven to an illegal campsite than find my own way to an apartment.

1353

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

1353

Reposted by Ppallo

Chris 𓅨 @bigjuncofan.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

I'm probably overthinking this but it's weird when people use neurotransmitter chemicals as a stand-in for actual human emotions

2935

Reposted by Ppallo

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

Twelve years ago people made fun of my Champ Diesel novels for describing minor male characters gym routines and max lifts for several paragraphs, but now that men don't read anymore, it's not that funny is it?

1142

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

1142

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

(Looking at a mighty old oak tree in awe) "They don't make them like that anymore." (Turning to the slightly younger oak tree next to it) "I don't mean to offend."

1372

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

0253

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

My fiancée swears she is not leaving me for Adam because he occasionally bathes in kefir. She says it is weird and the one thing he does that she doesn't like. I've made it clear if it is a fermented milk man she needs I will bathe in kefir four times a week, if it means we stay engaged.

1131

Reposted by Ppallo

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 05/05/2026

My father knew he wanted a child the day his impotent brother won The Amateur Championship. He would have something my uncle could never have. My mother agreed to a child as she felt it would make her criticism of other women's motherhood more credible. They dressed me well.

2595

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

0241

Reposted by Ppallo

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 02/10/2025

The worst part about having a minor gas leak in your home that you refuse to fix due to an ongoing, morally justified, but nonetheless sexually charged, dispute with your neighbour is that it really colours how people judge your takes. They're prejudiced against new ideas you or your cat suggest.

0606

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

Girlfriend has installed a kickstand on me that allows me to stay upright when still without having to lean against something. Useful little bit of kit, but apparently the pros don't have them on their sporty boyfriends. I'm more of a commuter anyway.

1565

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

(Asking about my friend's new coffee table in an upbeat manner) "So what's this mahogany?" "No man. No. That's stainless steel." (Pissed off and defensive because I never know if something is mahogany) "Well that's fucking false advertising, it's dirty as shit!"

1282

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

Walking across two yards to ask my 53-year old neighbour if her husband, who she has been married to for two decades, "is bothering her" as they sit on the porch and have coffee. He wasn't, but I'm ever vigilant.

0190

Reposted by Ppallo

Chris 𓅨 @bigjuncofan.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

We all have that one homie who scholars theorize was not a single individual, but a collection of different authors

0938249

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

The judge has ruled that the prelude to my avocado pasta recipe, in which I admit to concerns my flatulence may have been the final nail in the coffin of my neighbour's elderly cat, is inadmissible. She said recipe preludes, like diary entries, are deemed private as they are not intended to be read.

0251

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

I've come to the realisation that I just can't talk about my looseness retreats with stiffs anymore. You can only explain how important it is to have one rigid member in the collapse tent, when present members are going fully loose, and have family members laugh at you so many times.

191

Ppallo @ppallo.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

In 2012 a woman told me I had a midsection "like Barney from Barney & Friends" later that night I took over two thousand shirtless selfies trying to figure out what she meant. Due to this typing "Barney style male" into any image generator will reproduce an uncanny resemblance of me to this day.

0250