Reposted by Monkey OneErnest Penfold @penfoldsfiv.eurosky.social · 4hpretty telling how NOT heated centrist libs are getting over this development especially since they spent the past month or so crashing out over people saying that they weren’t gonna vote for transphobic democrats. 211324
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 5hWhat did us beardos do other than have fabulous facial accessory hair? 040
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 5hYou’re either masturbating with me or you’re masturbating against me. 020
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 8hYeah, yeah, it’s woke or whatever. I don’t care. That armor is fucking cool. 070
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 10hThis is the kind of angle that makes Lovecraft protagonists realize they are dealing with something inhuman. 020
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 11hSpinning in place like a top at 6700 RPM and generating massive amounts of heat as I tell YouTube to not suggest Randy Rainbow to me. 120
Reposted by Monkey OneKelly @justkelly.bsky.social · 30/09/2026She was doxxed by a Chi Phi alum who implored his followers to “help a Chi Phi.” Just in case anyone thought that organization was remotely redeemable. 413594577
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 29/09/2026“I thought he would punish the people I don’t like, but it turns out those people are load-bearing.” 0124
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 29/09/2026SENATOR: You’re on record as saying you had a sensible dinner. ME: That’s correct. SENATOR: But these photos show that you just smoked two cigarettes and drank a Dr. Pepper. ME: I consider that sensible. SENATOR: Mr. Chairman… CHAIRMAN WINSTON CAMEL: Sounds sensible to me. 1111
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Spiritually, Eric Schmitt is a redditor hunting down the Boston bombers. 060
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Still think Maxine should have finished him off that day. 130
Reposted by Monkey OnePrem Thakker ツ @premthakker.bsky.social · 29/09/2026BREAKING: Israel snatched an American teen from his West Bank home in the middle of the night — just days before his birthday and during his critical national exams. He's now been held for 3 months, with no charges. Netanyahu just came to the US for the *eighth* time since Trump took office.zeteo.comFirst Draft: Israel Has Kidnapped Another American TeenagerAbdalkareem Issa Ahmed Safi has Texas roots but languishes in a notorious jail, one more victim of Benjamin Netanyahu’s cruel impunity. Donald Trump, meanwhile, is losing some of his most ardent fans. 8742357
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 28/09/2026I have eaten The paintings You left in The ice box 150
Reposted by Monkey OneSerena/Noelle/Samantha @beancatter.bsky.social · 28/09/2026When I click "dont recommend any videos from this channel" I think the owner of the channel should get an electric shock and the thumbnail of the video beamed into their brain 17716
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Some of you may be innocent men, but not me. I’ve done terrible things. 020
Reposted by Monkey OneCalvinball Congress @emericanjezebel.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Every person on this website who says they've never heard a Cab Calloway song is gonna shit their pants when a bunch of skeletons start line dancing in their front yards 89313
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 27/09/2026All sex groups are cults but not all cults are sex groups. 030
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Name one good thing that college fraternities have produced. You can’t. 010
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 27/09/2026“I’m sorry to inform you that if you haven’t heard the number one country song you are in a bubble.” Oh, well, I guess I will devote the rest of my life to listening to every genre of music. I thought it was OK if I only sought out music I liked, but apparently that’s wrong. 2141
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I don’t know how my cat got shut into the dryer last night, but I found her this morning doing Marco Polo. 040
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 27/09/2026ME: Yeah, so, after Bush, the next president in my adult life was Obama. RESURRECTED GEORGE WASHINGTON I’VE RESTRAINED IN MY SHED: O’Bama? Good lord, not an Irishman. 1120
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 26/09/2026This is awful for the environment but I bet it’s fun as hell. 391
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Of course, he’s looking past these small-time scammers to the big fish: people who don’t eat all the food that they paid for. 140
Reposted by Monkey OneCage @ridiculouscage.bsky.social · 26/09/2026"why would I deceive you?" 130105202087
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 26/09/2026We need a name for our line of giant trucks. What about an animal that’s known for crashing into things headfirst? 010
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Can your toaster achieve nirvana? Is your TV capable of shame? Does your lamp ever get lonely? 061
Reposted by Monkey One🦉 @smallmutuals.bsky.social · 26/09/2026This story of Babel is bullshit because every construction site in chicago has guys who only speak polish, guys who only speak spanish, and guys who only speak English, and they can still finish the building 101758469
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 26/09/2026My 2005 college decision to never join Facebook is still paying off. 130
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 25/09/2026You frown as I walk into the job interview with a giant iced coffee. You quickly change that to a smile when I reveal the coffee is your favorite flavor. As you sip, it occurs to you that I shouldn’t know your favorite coffee. The world starts to dim. 020
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 25/09/2026You should watch this for the old guy who suddenly has a personal epiphany. 010
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Pantyhose and cigarettes? Did the 1960s write this lede? 120
Reposted by Monkey OneArt Of Coop @artofcoop.bsky.social · 25/09/2026I Hate Blacks Widow will return in Avengers Doomsday 922329
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 25/09/2026I’m going to idiot whisper for Jennifer. She’s trying to describe “using the same bathroom for all sexes,” but she’s a sloppy communicator because she has a lazy mind. 040
Reposted by Monkey OneSalad @biodegabriel.bsky.social · 25/09/2026One time I was chatting with a pilot and he asked me if I wanted to go to his apartment and let myself get tied up. I declined. 141
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 25/09/2026End every answer with, “At least that’s what my very Greek neighbor thinks.” 140
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Everyone knows pilots aren’t furries. That’s the air traffic controllers. The pilots are into hardcore BDSM. 071
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 24/09/2026They’re running ads calling Talarico weird, by the way. 251
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Pariah state being sustained solely by its tick-like attachment to an insane superpower. 191
Reposted by Monkey Oneterry gross’s ass double @sherylcrowbar.bsky.social · 24/09/2026I want opposite sex bathrooms. every time you are in a restroom another one needs to be built but for the opposite sex. you might think there are only 2 but no these are non-fungible. a school of 1,200 should have 1,440,000 bathrooms. 1123
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 24/09/2026She’s basically saying she doesn’t buy the commercials where Talarico does things like try to hedge his opinions on trans people and she wants to hear what he’s actually promising to do for people. Gee, who else has been suggesting this strategy? 082
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 24/09/2026You’re hearing more and more, “Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?” Folks, it’s no one. We will custodiet ourselves, and it’s gonna be beautiful. 043
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 24/09/2026The only funny part of this is how the AI keeps changing the background between every cut and still can’t generate text that isn’t nonsense. 090
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Bessent’s being an asshole, but Aaron also elided this quote in a way that makes it look like he’s directly threatening them. He jokes that he doesn’t know how they’re getting home because of the sanctions. The second part of the quote is actually about Iranian allies, not the diplomats. 020
Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 23/09/2026You don’t have to make it up. It’s standard protocol for a state visit with a head of state you are desperately trying to negotiate with. Hell, Joe Biden had a red carpet and a Chinese flag waiting for Xi when they met face to face to negotiate in 2023. That wasn’t even considered a state visit. 230
