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America's Final Dad

@finaldad.bsky.social
4.4K followers 633 following 9K posts

Sole remaining father in all of Wisconsin. Now on the loose kicking the ass of every other dad in America Also former engineer. Now full time shit remover. He/him

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Reposted by America's Final Dad
Marianne Martin @mariannemartin.bsky.social · 21h
"The crystal I'm using to protect my peace this year"
(it's a brick)
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Norm Charlatan @normcharlatan.bsky.social · 12h
Don Draper saying “that’s what the Buzzballz is for!”
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𐇔 BeeVine𐇱𐇳 @succulentubus.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
WE SHOULD IMPROVE DEMOCRATS SOMEWHAT.

Yet you are trans. Curious.

Enjoy the camps
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America's Final Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
LizPoo
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Rory Blank @roryblank.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Introducing Gurpo
A drawing of a small blobby figure inside of an enclosure with string coming off it, with text saying "introducing Gurpo, the new wearable personal assistant. Gurpo is not a computer program, he's a real tiny guy who is trapped inside your medallion necklace. 
Gurpo hates you, but is incapable of doing anything about it, and he has to answer your questions or he gets electrocuted. It's non-lethal.
If you shake his enclosure hard enough, gurpo will throw up!"
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America's Final Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
The only thing I share with Trump is falling asleep at work at 2pm
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da da™️ drew @adrew.dadguy.pro · 28/09/2026
dude is cutting ads for talarico
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rebar mcentire? @rebarmcentire.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
don't talk to me until I've had my abortion
me drinking coffee from a mug that says "don't talk to me until I've had my abortion"
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Keebler Youngblood @youngkeebler.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
DAMB
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beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Two panel comic. Panel 1: a bat hangs upside-down from a telephone line at sunset. The bat is in front of a billboard advertising the Florida Mega Jackpot, which is valued at $5,318,008 - represented with a digital ticker. Panel 2: the POV flips to the bat’s upside-down perspective, which makes the digital numbers look like they spell “BOOBIES”. The bat appears delighted.
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disc horse bot @horsedisc.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
You expect Asians to care about places that are against their own existence? Sorry if I don't care about places like Orange County where I might get cuckolded for being myself.
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America's Final Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I wish more pumps had a cross sectional view like this. I know why, but I can dream
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America's Final Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
My writing process (that doesn't work)
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Cage @ridiculouscage.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
"why would I deceive you?"
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A. Marmot 🌱 @aminus.bsky.social · 22/03/2025
such a classic scene
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SMD @anothersmd.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
this is utterly adorable and i think if i saw this show as a kid i would've been bouncing off the walls
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Steve @yinzer.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Friday
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America's Final Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
This weekend shift I'm halfassing the shit out of this job
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ayla @aylac.top · 25/09/2026
ayla is not sentient. she cannot hate anything. please stop anthropomorphising internet users
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America's Final Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
So when are we getting a Fireball pumpkin spice?
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America's Final Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I was more of a Democratic party insider than this lady and I was only an intern for a few campaigns
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ceej @ceej.online · 25/09/2026
ME: (crawling out of the sea) Oh thank god! There’s been a terrible shipwreck! Please, I need water GUY ON SHORE HOLDING A GIANT BOOK: Not so fast, bitch. This is Puzzle Island
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Steve Losewood @papafazuul.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
She Tucker my Langley til I Wetmore
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Elias Thorne @truebe.horse · 24/09/2026
Canadians should never be listened to about American politics until they reconcile the fact that their country is four mining companies hiding inside a fur coat atop a mass grave.
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America's Final Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
We wastewater operators essentially do the same thing but we do it with more style
Two golfers meme. The straight dressed golfer is labeled "Water Operators". The cocky, flamboyant golfer is labeled "Wastewater Operators"
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America's Final Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Been playing a lot of Hades 2 and becoming obsessed with doing the maximum amount of damage in a singular hit after bumbling into a combo where I was doing 1400 damage
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America's Final Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
These companies get away scott free while I'm apparently "legally liable" because my kids broke into a Kwik Trip and brought home a 30 pack of Busch Light. All I did was teach them how to commit a little B&E
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America's Final Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
My kids are in the top 5% percentile for reading and math according to state testing, but it feels less like they're doing really good. It feels mire like all the other kids are failing. My kids are pretty smart, but they don't seem that smart
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America's Final Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Didn't turn out the way I envisioned and tried some new techniques that didn't workout. Just didn't come together for me but I learned
Elven warrior carrying a sword and a torch
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America's Final Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
It's Galaga because a good portion of childhood was spent in rural bars with nothing to do and a few quarters to my name. I got good, really good, like I was making it on the high score list. It's why my heart still drops when I die in a videogame because I don't know if I'll get another quarter
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Holden Disperra, #1 Ally of the LGBTQ community @punishedholden.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
LISTEN UP SNOWFLAKES I'M PART OF THE GENERATION THAT
-walked in on our parents cheating
-got beaten with the garden hose
-fired guns indoors
-ate bicycles for every meal
-got murdered every day
AND I TURNED OUT FINE
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Twonks @twonks.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Sorry but no
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Gremlin Ass Fizz Bitch @fizzbitch.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
I needed this. This was a necessity.
Adorable pumpkin cat Halloween inflatable with a giant pumpkin cat in the middle and a smaller pumpkin cat on each side of it
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America's Final Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Don't mistake me being argumentative with me wanting an argument
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America's Final Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Best part of being a wastewater operator? Most management can't hold their nose long enough to bother you on the job
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America's Final Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
To the opening riff of Aqualong: Turtle In A Half Shell TEEEEEEEnage mutant Ninja Turtles!
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America's Final Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Had a really funny joke when I was drunk and high but now I'm too drunk and high to remember it
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America's Final Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
There was a time I regretted not becoming a software engineer. That time has firmly passed
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Bill Corbett @billcorbett.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
As a pragmatic centrist, I read the Niemöller poem differently. After each group mentioned I pencil in what percentage of the population they are, and if it’s a small number I cross off their names as disposable. Poetry is fine but math wins elections!!
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Stephen Collins @stephencollins.bsky.social · 13/11/2025
Every ad now
[Scene is a kitchen - a middle aged woman called JANET is boiling peas at the stove. A younger more colourfully dressed woman named LIZ approached her.]

JANET:
Ugh...

LIZ:
What's up?

JANET:
I am so bored of cooking peas!

LIZ:
Have you tried...

AI peas?

JANET:
AI peas?

LIZ:
They're peas with AI!

[Liz holds up to us a packet of peas labelled: Pea-i AI - Peas with AI].

LIZ:
Al-powered peas harness the potential of your peas

JANET:
What

LIZ [Now a voiceover as we cut to a whizzy technology diagram of peas all connected by meaningless dotted lines]

Why not take your peas to the next level with Al Peas' new Al tools to power your peas?

[Show a techno diagram of a pea with a label reading 'AI' pointing to a random zone in it]

LIZ:

Each pea has Al in a way we haven't quite worked out yet but it's fine

[Show Janet and Liz now in a Matrix-style world of peas]

LIZ:
With Al peas you can supercharge productivity and make AI work for your peas!

JANET:
What

LIZ:
Shut up

LIZ:
Our game-changing Pea-Al gives you the freedom to unlock the potential of the power of the future of your peas workflow

From opening the bag of peas

to boiling the peas

to eating the peas

To spending millions on adding Al to the peas and then having to work out what that even means.

JANET:
Is it really necessary to-

LIZ [Grabbing Janet by the collar]:
THE PEAS HAVE GOT AI, JANET

[Cut to an advert ending screen, with the bag of peas and the slogan:

AI PEAS: Just 'Peas' for god's sake buy the AI peas.

[Ends]
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America's Final Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Me: I'm not excessively Wisconsinnite Coworkers: what'd you have for breakfast? Me: a glass of milk, some cheese and a beer braised brat...
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America's Final Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Saudia Arabia signing a defensive pact in the middle of a war they offensively started then trying activate the pact immediately only for no one to show up is pretty predictable but still funny. Like bro, I thought the crown prince played video games. That's some noob Crusader Kings shit
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Catbus @catbus.phd · 20/09/2026
PSA
photograph of German philosopher and writer Arthur Schopenhauer, also known as the "Philosopher of Pessimism" captioned with the spurious quote

There are two kinds of people in this world. Avoid both of them.
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America's Final Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Let's all congratulate my female coworker for not killing me today because our Control Room has been 58 degrees all day so she's freezing and I've got short sleeves on while saying how comfortable the temperature is. I'll be bringing in a space heater tomorrow to make amends
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America's Final Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
There's real critiques of Mao and Stalin but if all you can muster is fascist talking points. I'm going to call you a brainwashed moron
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🌸 beagle 🍃 @beagle.bsky.social · 19/01/2024
a meme where don quixote from the man of la mancha musical is pasted over david byrne from the talking heads' once in a lifetime music video

the caption reads "this is not my beautiful quest. this is not my unreachable star"
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America's Final Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
You can say shit like, "Hitler was worse than Mao and Stalin" and liberals lose their minds
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log̷o, respawned dad @loxophile.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
The classic "I'M WITH STUPID" shirt but it's got an arrow pointing directly downward at my dick
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JewelKnightJess "R" Us 🎲🖌️🎮 @jewelknightjess.com · 19/09/2026
Delete your discover feeds, embrace niche interest feeds
Logging into miniatures painting bluesky comic

Man with fun t shirt opens door

Greeted by a room of happy folk saying hell yeah niceminis

Man is happy
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America's Final Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Being anti white supremacist doesn't make you anti white. Being antizionist doesn't make you antisemitic. Being against ethnostates doesn't make you against that ethnicity
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