iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 19h

Them: Would you like some tea? How do you take it? Me: Orally. Dare I ask how you take it?

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 22h

Just saw a recipe for hot honey sausage and damn if I don’t have a great new stripper name.

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 11h

I’m starting to think that this $49.95 “Landmarks of Europe Tour” might be bullshit.

A pile of bricks are laid out in the form of Stonehenge surrounding a manhole cover on a rainy street.

A cylinder, painted to resemble the leaning tower of Pisa, sits next to a pole on a snowy island in the middle of a street.

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 16/05/2026

Me: *tells joke* Her: Can’t you ever be serious? Me: *tells same joke in German* Her: OK, that was scary

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 31m

This day in history. 2007. California revealed that singer Dionne Warwick owed $2.67 million in taxes. She must have walked on by their tax collectors and now she needed to say a little prayer for herself but I wonder why the Psychic Friends Network didn't warn her since that's what friends are for.

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Losferatu 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

I’m not posting for popularity I’m trying to find people who think like me

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Jane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 19h

There is nothing to fear but fear itself, or a call that could’ve been a text.

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Jane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 21h

Strained my neck taking a casserole out the oven last night, and that’s what happens when you betray pizza.

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Roxy @laboxalaroxa.bsky.social · 16/10/2026

On rare occasions I'll say something smart and it's then I'm certain, I've been possessed by a demon.

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Roxy @laboxalaroxa.bsky.social · 16/10/2026

Sometimes I like to imagine the world is like this from delusions created by a blow to the head.

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Jim @jimstewart.bsky.social · 16/10/2026

Ruin a perfectly good skeet by replying with something factual.

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A.L. likely @alvildalikely.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

I have this fantasy where Pete Hegseth and Megyn Kelly have to walk the plank into a vat of muriatic acid and it’s live-streamed.

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Betsy Wetsy @betsyross.bsky.social · 16/10/2026

sometimes when I am hanging out here I regret never becoming involved in the video gaming world

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Betsy Wetsy @betsyross.bsky.social · 20h

feeling paranoid I bet the internet can help

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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

mesmerised by the call of supernatural subtleties drawn into a web of captivating complexities a world between dreams of perpetual possibilities

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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

sure we can destroy them but there will always be another waiting in the darkness to rise up and take their place the sweet nectar provides them with an intoxicating power that they are unable to resist (mosquitoes)

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Josh Mankiewicz @joshmankiewicz.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

This absolutely does NOT sound like the Matt Gaetz I am familiar with except for the last several years’ worth of allegations that are quasi-identical to this. www.sun-sentinel.com/2026/10/15/e...

sun-sentinel.com

Ex-Florida congressman Matt Gaetz accused in suit of sex trafficking young women

Two women filed a federal civil lawsuit accusing former Congressman Matt Gaetz of a sex trafficking and drug scheme. Gaetz denies the allegations.

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SpecialKimtamine™ 🚩🏴‍☠️🇮🇹🇺🇸🦈 @lorazekim.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

I was going to make a joke about sodium but I thought Na, nobody will get it

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Lizzlepants 🐒 @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 21h

if I ever wore white it would be after Labor Day cause I don’t play by nobody’s rules

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Braden Serkas 🎃 @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 16h

I wonder if anyone ever took a motorboat to a cranberry bog and did figure-8s until they were dizzy as hell in a big lake of juice

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Braden Serkas 🎃 @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

Back when Wikipedia first showed up you could get away with anything. I once wrote that we traded Wyoming to the Russians for Hawaii and six cases of vodka and that’s how the Cold War started. It was there for three weeks

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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

to get into my library’s website, all you have to do is check a box that asks if you’re human there’s no pics of bridges or boats or bicycles & oh shit i can’t get in wth god dammit god fucking dammit 😤

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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 17h

“Have you been in an accident? Car? Truck? Boat? Ship? Train? Plane? Space shuttle? Teeter-totter? Paper cut? Soiled yourself? Splinter? Bad date? Switched at birth? Lost your royal title? Botched first batch of pancakes? Fish in microwave at work? We can get you $5.73 billion! or more!”

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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

on my best days, I’m agnostic. on my worst days, I’m vegan.

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Christina, mother of spiders @aikiwomannc.bsky.social · 08/12/2024

French parent: *Yeets kid over the fence* Garde Louis!

Drawing of human shaped figure throwing a smaller figure over a fence. There are 2 French sentences asking parents not to toss kids over the fence. In English it says: French primary school: Parents, stop throwing children over the gate. Parents were literally throwing their children over the lockd 6-foot-high gate. A primary school in Avignon, France, has has to issue warnings to parents to stop throwing their children over a six-foot fence to avoid being late.

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Christina, mother of spiders @aikiwomannc.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

Me: If Australia is down under, why don't we have an up over somewhere? Friend: That makes no sense. Me: Wait, we do. They're down under but Europe. Friend: Me: You're just mad because you didn't think of it.

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 19h

must have been one helluva chase

NYPD cruiser on the street in front of the Eiffel Tower with a cloudy sky.

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Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 21h

me: do you think they call it europe because of the jetlag when you get there? english professor: how do you keep getting in my house

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

A French exit is when you tongue-kiss everyone on your way out.

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Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 11/07/2023

me: I just dropped some acid her: YOU DID WHAT me: don’t go in the garage her: oh haha me: it’s full of neon baby pandas, and they only speak German

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 23h

[at the gym] Me: Why does the sign over that door say BREXIT? Trainer: That’s where all the bros exit.

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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 16/10/2026

Them: I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation. Me: [standing on the ceiling] Why do you say that?

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

Most potential pet owners consider things like breeding, size, coat, intelligence, trainability, and temperament. Often overlooked is the crucially important element of aerodynamics, which can greatly affect your gas mileage, raising the overall cost of ownership significantly.

Fur blowing straight back from the face of a long-haired dog with their head poking out of the window of a moving vehicle.

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

As a child I always hoped that someday I would become a parking space for a cat.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 23h

This day in history. 2005. Pope John Paul II Day. Only in Poland because he was, to be kind, at best, not to put too fine a point on it, without fear or favour, with due consideration, taken as a whole, without prejudice, with no ifs ands or buts about it, once and for all, a malignant ideologue.

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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

You work your whole life, and at the end, not one person will sanction having your ashes strewn all over the Ben & Jerry’s section in the market.

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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I’m a little worried about the drone strikes on the Russian data centers. Pretty sure this will reveal that I only have twelve followers who are real, and nine of those are family.

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Kellalena @kellalena.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

A haunted house, but it’s a line of unexpected visitors down your driveway wanting to come inside

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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

in order to conjure up an air of mystery i will henceforth be referring to my hot flashes as el niños

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Braden Serkas 🎃 @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

You were either a chucks person or a vans person and while we were on some level mortal enemies we could all agree that birkenstocks and socks people were not allowed in our cars

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Braden Serkas 🎃 @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

Not sure what exactly I expected from the end times but I definitely did not anticipate this many fucking leafblowers

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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

yes, 38 & i were discussing big dick energy what’s your fucken problem

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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

my daughter’s visiting from hawaii & has not been here 5 minutes & already the critiques have started. a thread: 1/397 “your water tastes funny”

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Betsy Wetsy @betsyross.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

sometimes it’s just kindest to keep your fucking fingers untyped ya know

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Betsy Wetsy @betsyross.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

kind of an empath are you guys alright

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Marly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

🎶And it seems to me you live your life like a wiffleball in the wind, never knowing where you’ll fling to when the bat sets in🎶

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Marly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

You’re like a wiffleball in the wind, man.

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Marly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I have no idea what that means but... *hands you a cookie & gestures you onward in a supportive manner*

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Marly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Phone Person: I sent you 3 months of data Me: I asked for 9 months P: I'm sending it in chunks over time so you're not completely buried Me: I don't care. It's the same amount of work either way, however you send it. Will you please just BURY ME? P: Whoa. Rough day? M: *laughs* Not like that

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