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sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı

@identityxcrisis.bsky.social
2.6K followers 352 following 2K posts

Please don’t parade on my rain. he/it/bag of dirty sox This: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3xltmu6kff… <see “Feeds” for more options> That: linktr.ee/identityXcrisis {avi/pfp: rubber duck on asphalt}

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Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
in australia we use spanner as an insult and it is directly derived from spanner in the works follow me for more facts which are likely not facts at all
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sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı @identityxcrisis.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
“Open up your heart and let the sunshine in” sounds like something a serial killer in a grade B horror movie says right before he stabs you in the chest.
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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Just poured my friend a bubbling green drink that emitted a cloud of vapor in the shape of a cackling skull, but he refused to drink it. After I spent so long working on my cool skull drink! It did contain poison though
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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Has anyone suggested Protein Pops yet? No, I don't mean meat popsicles. I mean little chunks of meat that explode in your mouth like Pop Rocks.
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walruslifestyle @walruslifestyle.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
i tried to make a heatmap but i overdid it and now my car's on fire
051
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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Y’all I’m concerned the quiet posters are plotting
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terror @weedlejuice.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Leaving the party early after someone mentions finding a rickety bridge over a gaping chasm nearby
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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
It’s the weekend. Time to post those drafts of one tribute to each of the 50 states.
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batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
I stare up at Gordon Ramsey as he tastes my creation. His reaction is inscrutable. “What did you make this with?” he asks. “Spite?” I say hopefully. He pauses a beat, then nods. “Yeah, you can really taste it.”
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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Don't ever let anyone tell you where your wires go. You've got the perfect maze of loops and decoys already please believe me, I work in IT. I'm also a life coach and also also a minotaur
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NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Canadian geese are like regular geese but they sure do like maple syrup.
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CrazyMyra @outonthemoors.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
I propose renaming the generations into 5-10 year groupings of the most popular boys' names. For example, I'm part of the Michael years. These were followed by the Darrens, the Gregs, the Ryans, and so on. We're now in peak Alex era.
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snargleplax @snargleplax.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
sorry I just invented a disease that makes your eyeballs shrink
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🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 29/08/2026
I’ve got to keep posting or the little people inside my head will get bored and start screaming
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Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
i'm sorry i started the "engagement bait" chant when you misspoke during your presentation
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crumbum @fuwolfman.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Just trying to be every bit as stupid as I sound.
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sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı @identityxcrisis.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
“Open up your heart and let the sunshine in” sounds like something a serial killer in a grade B horror movie says right before he stabs you in the chest.
01910
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
I was dreaming while you were talking. It wasn't because I was asleep it was just I was in a familiar place but it was weird, it was from somewhere but it was weird, in the deja vu of it more breadsticks please
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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Blowing out all the candles and kites and sailboats on a windless day, nothing ever stirred up. There's always tomorrow omg I finally got a message from the hot af air balloon on Tindenburg
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It's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
Before the internet the only way to block people was to close your eyes, cover your ears and sing "We Built This City" super loud. It was awful
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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
bluesky just released a feature that shows how many people turned off your reposts and- oh no. no no no no
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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
another week another holy fuck somebody make it stop
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sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı @identityxcrisis.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
The roof, the roof, the roof is NOT not on fire nor is it it on fire, but rather a secret third thing (involving fire)
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sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı @identityxcrisis.bsky.social · 20/05/2025
Assert dominance by randomly adding “since The Incident” to conversation without further explanation.
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Glasgow Kiss @xanderglasgow.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
There are two wolves inside of you. One is a dick, the other is a dick, you’re a dick.
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Betsy Wetsy @betsyross.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
does anyone have a single engine plane we could leisurely fly around the Bermudan Triangle in this weekend I will bring cookies
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Betsy Wetsy @betsyross.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
this collective consciousness is freaking me out Mom
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Betsy Wetsy @betsyross.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
you’re watching videos on your special interest but the videos suddenly become longer and weirder and bam you realize the algorithm knows you are high
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Wonder Jenny 🧛🏻‍♀️ @galacticpotlady.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
You know that classic scene in a movie when the lighter doesn’t work? Kinda like my life.
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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
orville: im wright & you’re wrong wilbur: nay orville: what no you’re supposed to say im wright too jfc how are you so bad at this
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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Stop normalizing normal things. Only incomprehensible chaos from now on
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CrazyMyra @outonthemoors.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
I do like an update that logs users out of the site. It's important to weed out the regulars. How can you have the "Is Bluesky dying?" discourse without casualties?
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Yael @elle91.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
I love surprises as long as I have a general idea of what's involved, where and when it'll happen, who will be there, and how long it'll last
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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
*brings a recording of the Benny Hill theme to a knife fight*
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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
[seeing my life flash before my eyes as I die] Oh no, a clip show.
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Jack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Hey fam, thanks for leaving two Cool Ranch Doritos in the bag broken up in 179 pieces.
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Jenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Scientists have confirmed that you’ll have a much better day if you don’t get on my nerves
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pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
I see a lot of people on here making fun of the running robots but I’d like to let any robots reading this know that I think your running is very nice and if you need someone to betray humans for you in the Future War, I’m your man 👍
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NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Actually I CAN believe it's not butter but I WON'T out of spite
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batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Ask your doctor if sinking into The Bog is right for you.
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sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı @identityxcrisis.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
The roof, the roof, the roof is NOT not on fire nor is it it on fire, but rather a secret third thing (involving fire)
052
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı
Schmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlex @schmrrrlex.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
here's a great snack hack: two ritz crackers with a babybel in the middle. I call this "Eating A Baby"
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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
The energy from your resting mind does not pass into your pillow, we sent it to an intimate lab of friends and family, no one was ashamed. But its poor feathers must have flown too close to the burlesque
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Creepie Doll 🦇 @ediedoll.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
found a great big cable under the ocean and I’m chewing the Fuck out of it
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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Despite all the miracle claims about Manuka honey, I think it’s just making the drain clog worse.
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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Sorry I missed you. I did so deliberately so I could continue eating my hair.
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walruslifestyle @walruslifestyle.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
i carry a hand blender in a holster on my belt. just in case
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
If The Monkees were dogs the song would be called “I’m A Retriever”
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Jack Boot @jackboot.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
MISSED CONNECTION: You were waving at me out of a train window as it entered a tunnel. I have your arm.
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