Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıCosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 29/08/2026in australia we use spanner as an insult and it is directly derived from spanner in the works follow me for more facts which are likely not facts at all 78329
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpısısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı @identityxcrisis.bsky.social · 29/08/2026“Open up your heart and let the sunshine in” sounds like something a serial killer in a grade B horror movie says right before he stabs you in the chest. 01910
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpımindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 27/08/2026Just poured my friend a bubbling green drink that emitted a cloud of vapor in the shape of a cackling skull, but he refused to drink it. After I spent so long working on my cool skull drink! It did contain poison though 131342360
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıchris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 28/08/2026Has anyone suggested Protein Pops yet? No, I don't mean meat popsicles. I mean little chunks of meat that explode in your mouth like Pop Rocks. 99443
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıwalruslifestyle @walruslifestyle.bsky.social · 28/08/2026i tried to make a heatmap but i overdid it and now my car's on fire 051
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıcap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 28/08/2026Y’all I’m concerned the quiet posters are plotting 1013351
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıterror @weedlejuice.bsky.social · 28/08/2026Leaving the party early after someone mentions finding a rickety bridge over a gaping chasm nearby 26113
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıcap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 29/08/2026It’s the weekend. Time to post those drafts of one tribute to each of the 50 states. 59245
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıbatkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 28/08/2026I stare up at Gordon Ramsey as he tastes my creation. His reaction is inscrutable. “What did you make this with?” he asks. “Spite?” I say hopefully. He pauses a beat, then nods. “Yeah, you can really taste it.” 416433
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıTusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 29/08/2026Don't ever let anyone tell you where your wires go. You've got the perfect maze of loops and decoys already please believe me, I work in IT. I'm also a life coach and also also a minotaur 1220188
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıNosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 28/08/2026Canadian geese are like regular geese but they sure do like maple syrup. 67621
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıCrazyMyra @outonthemoors.bsky.social · 27/08/2026I propose renaming the generations into 5-10 year groupings of the most popular boys' names. For example, I'm part of the Michael years. These were followed by the Darrens, the Gregs, the Ryans, and so on. We're now in peak Alex era. 67428
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpısnargleplax @snargleplax.bsky.social · 29/08/2026sorry I just invented a disease that makes your eyeballs shrink 041
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 29/08/2026I’ve got to keep posting or the little people inside my head will get bored and start screaming 46725
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıPath (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 28/08/2026i'm sorry i started the "engagement bait" chant when you misspoke during your presentation 0188
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıcrumbum @fuwolfman.bsky.social · 29/08/2026Just trying to be every bit as stupid as I sound. 23314
sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı @identityxcrisis.bsky.social · 29/08/2026“Open up your heart and let the sunshine in” sounds like something a serial killer in a grade B horror movie says right before he stabs you in the chest. 01910
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıTusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 24/08/2026I was dreaming while you were talking. It wasn't because I was asleep it was just I was in a familiar place but it was weird, it was from somewhere but it was weird, in the deja vu of it more breadsticks please 18151
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıTusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Blowing out all the candles and kites and sailboats on a windless day, nothing ever stirred up. There's always tomorrow omg I finally got a message from the hot af air balloon on Tindenburg 07143
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıIt's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 24/08/2026Before the internet the only way to block people was to close your eyes, cover your ears and sing "We Built This City" super loud. It was awful 935382
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıGreg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 23/08/2026bluesky just released a feature that shows how many people turned off your reposts and- oh no. no no no no 1211133
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıCosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 23/08/2026another week another holy fuck somebody make it stop 625190
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpısısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı @identityxcrisis.bsky.social · 23/08/2026The roof, the roof, the roof is NOT not on fire nor is it it on fire, but rather a secret third thing (involving fire) 052
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpısısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı @identityxcrisis.bsky.social · 20/05/2025Assert dominance by randomly adding “since The Incident” to conversation without further explanation. 08134
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıGlasgow Kiss @xanderglasgow.bsky.social · 23/08/2026There are two wolves inside of you. One is a dick, the other is a dick, you’re a dick. 22311
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıBetsy Wetsy @betsyross.bsky.social · 21/08/2026does anyone have a single engine plane we could leisurely fly around the Bermudan Triangle in this weekend I will bring cookies 713356
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıBetsy Wetsy @betsyross.bsky.social · 22/08/2026this collective consciousness is freaking me out Mom 011755
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıBetsy Wetsy @betsyross.bsky.social · 22/08/2026you’re watching videos on your special interest but the videos suddenly become longer and weirder and bam you realize the algorithm knows you are high 18035
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıWonder Jenny 🧛🏻♀️ @galacticpotlady.bsky.social · 21/08/2026You know that classic scene in a movie when the lighter doesn’t work? Kinda like my life. 04723
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıkattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 22/08/2026orville: im wright & you’re wrong wilbur: nay orville: what no you’re supposed to say im wright too jfc how are you so bad at this 46725
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpımindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 22/08/2026Stop normalizing normal things. Only incomprehensible chaos from now on 212440
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıCrazyMyra @outonthemoors.bsky.social · 16/08/2026I do like an update that logs users out of the site. It's important to weed out the regulars. How can you have the "Is Bluesky dying?" discourse without casualties? 04919
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıYael @elle91.bsky.social · 10/08/2026I love surprises as long as I have a general idea of what's involved, where and when it'll happen, who will be there, and how long it'll last 3305
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıJohn Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 19/08/2026*brings a recording of the Benny Hill theme to a knife fight* 623087
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıJohn Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 22/08/2026[seeing my life flash before my eyes as I die] Oh no, a clip show. 314656
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıJack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 22/08/2026Hey fam, thanks for leaving two Cool Ranch Doritos in the bag broken up in 179 pieces. 1010639
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıJenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 22/08/2026Scientists have confirmed that you’ll have a much better day if you don’t get on my nerves 88330
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıpixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 23/08/2026I see a lot of people on here making fun of the running robots but I’d like to let any robots reading this know that I think your running is very nice and if you need someone to betray humans for you in the Future War, I’m your man 👍 2184942
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıNosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 20/08/2026Actually I CAN believe it's not butter but I WON'T out of spite 523353
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıbatkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 20/08/2026Ask your doctor if sinking into The Bog is right for you. 49023
sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı @identityxcrisis.bsky.social · 23/08/2026The roof, the roof, the roof is NOT not on fire nor is it it on fire, but rather a secret third thing (involving fire) 052
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıSchmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlex @schmrrrlex.bsky.social · 21/08/2026here's a great snack hack: two ritz crackers with a babybel in the middle. I call this "Eating A Baby" 1249
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıTusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 22/08/2026The energy from your resting mind does not pass into your pillow, we sent it to an intimate lab of friends and family, no one was ashamed. But its poor feathers must have flown too close to the burlesque 07852
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıCreepie Doll 🦇 @ediedoll.bsky.social · 16/08/2026found a great big cable under the ocean and I’m chewing the Fuck out of it 1301
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıcap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 22/08/2026Despite all the miracle claims about Manuka honey, I think it’s just making the drain clog worse. 36929
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıchris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 22/08/2026Sorry I missed you. I did so deliberately so I could continue eating my hair. 29333
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıwalruslifestyle @walruslifestyle.bsky.social · 22/08/2026i carry a hand blender in a holster on my belt. just in case 3114
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 23/08/2026If The Monkees were dogs the song would be called “I’m A Retriever” 917347
Reposted by sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpıJack Boot @jackboot.bsky.social · 23/08/2026MISSED CONNECTION: You were waving at me out of a train window as it entered a tunnel. I have your arm. 434879