Reposted by Doc Z's Non Sequitur Emporium
ICE Boasts Zero Murders Committed By 5-Year-Olds Since Child Detainments Began
theonion.com
ICE Boasts Zero Murders Committed By 5-Year-Olds Since Child Detainments Began
WASHINGTON—Touting a new crime report as evidence their ramped-up operations were improving American life, Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials announced Friday that there had been zero murde...
![Comic. [Two people on shore looking at body of water] PERSON 1: Hey, where’s that big island we were looking at this morning? PERSON 2 with short hair: Oh, it’s underwater. The ocean’s depth here goes up and down by like ten feet every day. PERSON 1: What? PERSON 2: It’s because the planet has a big moon orbiting near the surface. It causes weird gravity effects. PERSON 1: *What???* [caption] People here are used to them, but tides are one of the weirdest and most sci-fi elements of life on Earth.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cz73r7iyiqn26upot4jtjdhk/bafkreidj2tdqhkgoamiqf5reqt7kvbpt26x3cgjxsp4rtwwb46qumcltdq)
