iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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Steve Suckington @stevesuckington.bsky.social · 13/07/2023

"Have some respect. This is a funeral" *slowly removes giant sombrero revealing smaller yet still pretty big sombrero*

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

i’m really sorry I liked taylor swift for 42 seconds, but in my defense, I am a white woman.

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

fun prank: empty out one of your fav dead people’s storage units on the anniversary of your moms death

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mothra stewart @gorl.gay · 24/09/2026

wake and bake time

kitty cat frankie laying on the bed and going ham on a catnip joint

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Travis comma bitch @prof-hinkley.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

That's on me, your honor

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alexis simpson is confused by display name changes @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

just passed a guy who looked like a retired ninja turtle

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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I love non-binary Halloween. What do you mean you’re iced coffee at a job interview

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 17/11/2024

Grief comes out in strange places, like the self-checkout Me, yelling at the machine: THAT'S GREAT, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY UNEXPECTED ITEMS MY LIFE HAS HAD

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It's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

"Forever" stamps are starting to feel like an overpromise. This government seems temporary at best

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It's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I keep hoping that if I don't pay attention to the news, he'll die sooner

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Fun @funkelly.bsky.social · 22/11/2024

if you build a house around a vampire you have to invite them to leave

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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

[Elizabeth Holmes Voice]: I’m Batman.

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 26/09/2026

It's really comin down out there (civilization)

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

wild things you learn when someone dies tragically and unexpectedly: 1) if the hospital is at fault nobody wants to do an autopsy & independent autopsies start at $20k 2) when you try to pay their rent to give yourself some time to empty out their entire life, the landlord will say, “the lease is

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

I lost my second dad last night. thank you to everyone who shared the gofundme. we are in complete shock over this and still need all the help we can get. found an old pic of us - and he just left me a voicemail shouting IM FIFTY! FIVE OH! so silly that an snl character was our thing forever

white man with gray hair sitting with arm around white woman with a headband with the numbers 50 on it, wearing a pleather jacket, in front of vending machines

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

hey it’s me: I know we are all drowning in debt and trying to stay afloat, but I need help. I will add to this post to share more on why I am asking for help with a gofundme for who I call DADDY MAC: gofund.me/3abd63c73

gofund.me

Donate to Help My Dad, Brian Lally, Through His Fight for Recovery, organized by Kyle Lally

Hi, I'm Kyle Lally, Brian Lally's son. If you're reading… Kyle Lally needs your support for Help My Dad, Brian Lally, Through His Fight for Recovery

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

got my covid and flu vax at cvs. please do the same to help protect my immunocompromised ass. also! be nice to the pharmacy staff, they have the worst jobs ever, are overworked and underpaid, and hate it there as much as you

woman with wide eyes wearing a n95 mask and showing a bandaid with a heart on it on her arm

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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

The priest at my snake church said vaccines are unsafe

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

i’m fighting with management at the complex I rent from about some wildly high utilities bills and long story short they got mad at me and are now sending email blasts to all residents that we can’t feed the squirrels lol THEY HAVE NO CLUE THE WAR THEY HAVE JUST STARTED WITH ME

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

“don’t threaten me with a good time,” I say to myself as I climb into bed at 529 pm.

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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Today has to be a fantastic day because otherwise the universe is too unbalanced to survive

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It's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Pet Store Manager: What qualifies you to work here? Applicant: I'm kinda sweet yet sad & a tiny bit creepy Pet Store Manager: Welcome to the team

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

If there's one thing I can't stand it's an unscheduled exchange of pleasantries.

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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Seems like Illinois could make a bigger deal of being the birthplace of The Hamburglar. Or created a legend to make us giddy with anticipation that Abraham Lincoln might suddenly appear and swipe your chalupa.

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NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Me as a doctor: you might feel a little pinch Tiny lobster in my pocket: *clack clack*

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

This day in history. 1989. In Britain the government of vile weed Margaret Thatcher began privatizing public water authorities because what could go wrong with drinking water provided by the lowest bidder or a Conservative MP's sister's son-in-law's younger brother?

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It's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

I love when clothes come with extra buttons. Thank you for knowing I can’t operate pants without fucking it up

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Kellalena @kellalena.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Starting a sentence and hoping that it ends well

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

everyone: did you see the new iphone flip phone starts at $2000? me: did you see that I hate everything except squirrels and cats and possums and raccoons?

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futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 09/09/2026

stepping outside real quick:

apple music screenshot
song: pardon me
artist: incubus

lyrics shown:
so pardon me while
I burst into flames

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

hi it’s 2026 and a woman I work with just used the R word to refer to a department in case you wonder how the whole disability rights and advocacy thing is going

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

me, just finished burning dinner: tonight we are having a blackened garlic spaghetti

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

hey hi i’m still working out in the water and have become a mother of the squirrels. I am posting it all on the instagram app so if you’re still giving zuckerberg your data, pls follow me. it’s lonely there.

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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

White people be like this tiki bar is not awesomesauce

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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Now look, you made Adam Duritz Jesus sad

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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Put on my pants like everyone else, one roll of duct tape at a time

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It's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Ken Paxton looks like the bad guy in a made for TV movie in the 90s

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Opinion Editor @ Bluesky @dly.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

lava lamp made with my period blood

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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

My kid said his Dr. Pepper had no chafizzma and I only allowed that because he was right

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

watching a show with this character who threw up on herself and hasn't taken a shower yet, and I found myself yelling in defense of her, "look she's having a bad day, she's doing something," so I'm just letting y'all know that's the state of my union

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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 15/07/2026

Sorry i held up a scorecard when you fell off the balcony

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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

I only know two things... people are overated and never play chess with a cat

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

i’m wearing a shirt that says “literally nothing I do is for men,” and asked a guy on the side of the street if he needed help. i’m a walking lie

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

just got out of a meeting with a man and woman in clinical trials and they went off topic to gripe about GLP1s and how there’s not a magic pill and fat people just need to do the work. so this just in: it’s almost 2027 and everyone still hates fat people.

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 03/09/2026