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BIG tortoise goth gf 🐢

@bigtortoisegothgf.bsky.social
1.6K followers 1.5K following 1.6K posts

𖤐 MDNI 🔞 𖤐 she/they/Mommy 𖤐 37yo Mama to a 16yo 🐢Shell Baby🐢 named Tyrus💜 𖤐 poly pan-demi-hyper-sexual succubus dreamgurl 𖤐 💜♾️ @adozenblackroses.bsky.social ♾️💜 𖤐 in a closed relationship 🔐 𖤐 $jnics10

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🐰🏳️‍⚧️ Carly Rae Jenkem 🏳️‍⚧️🐰 @carlyraejenkem.bsky.social · 19/03/2025
Sitting in your seat and silently tsk-tsking whilst masking it as peaceful “protest” accomplishes nothing against Fascists. MLK also revoked his stance about peace. The administration of Fascism got to this point, not because of violence, but because of peaceful complacency paving the way for them.
Stokely Carmichael quote on non-violence: “In order for non-violence to work, your opponent must have a conscience. The United States has none.”
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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 21/02/2025
Costco and Trader Joes are yin and yang. Together they form a harmonious balance. One sells big piles of normal food, the other sells small piles of weird food. These are the two food piles people need
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The thread o’ tweets @threadotweets.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
Meta
@meta_nomad
Awful day today. I had 2 volumes of the collected work of Hegel in my car and someone broke in and left 2 more.

(Photo of car with broken window)
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Jess Zimmerman @jesszimmerman.com · 20/02/2025
if you’re neutral milk hotel in the face of oppression you are an oppressor milk hotel
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Jason Kirk @jasonkirk.fyi · 20/02/2025
We're a repubthick not a slimocracy
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haunted girlfriend @sliceofwife.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
there aren't enough hotdogs in the world to show you how much I love you. but I am going to try.
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haunted girlfriend @sliceofwife.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
me to all of you:
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mayonnaise rudeboy @paintedsky.ca · 20/02/2025
easy. whenever you have an inanimate object and you’re not sure what to do with it, the answer is always the same: have sex with it
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𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕 𓅇 @adderallblack.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
we must eat them, slowly, and with purpose. we must become fibrous; we must become closer to plant.
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BIG tortoise goth gf 🐢 @bigtortoisegothgf.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
my tortoise and i are talking about you just fyi
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ceej @ceej.online · 20/02/2025
haha nice post dude. I'm going to put you in the panopticon
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onion person @junlper.beer · 20/02/2025
can’t wait for polls like ‘20% of americans say “unsure” if purge is bad or not’
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Kash Patel's Pit Bull @daranglenn.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
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BonkoBoi @bonkoboi.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
Paul: "Have a Ring-GO at him" Ringo: "I'll snuff the light out from his eyes"
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
Yoko is definitely there and making suggestions as to how to kick my ass in new ways but it will be misrepresented by fans of the band as being the cause of why the band stopped beating me up in an alley, which is that I threw up bsky.app/profile/chac...
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BIG tortoise goth gf 🐢 @bigtortoisegothgf.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
LOOK AT HIMB
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malware malewife @harmor.me · 20/02/2025
foreskin regrowth and bisexuality (assuming lacking both)
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danny @dannycoole.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
"Oh don't worry babe, it's just 5 seconds. Plus, you can skip them!" *10 years later* "Sorry babe, time for your 1-hour ad break"
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obs62.bsky.social @obs62.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
Now with farts
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dillo saint dillo @dillo.media · 20/02/2025
I love the power of debate
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Spinch @traviscash.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
Getting sucked imto a tornado<<<getting sucked off in a tornado
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Steve Suckington @stevesuckington.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
How was your day? [flashback to me getting sucked into a tornado] pretty good
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ringa ringa roses @zyla.top · 20/02/2025
hey siri, did i cum?
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Mike Puterbaugh @mike.puterbaugh.net · 20/02/2025
Going John Henry mode to prove no machine can jack off as well as me
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Ross Weistroffer @libraryofbabble.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
Couldn't help but take this in a passive voice-laden direction: Trump: *shoots someone in broad daylight with a handgun* NYT: Those in Trump's diurnal vicinity have occasionally reported encountering projectile discharges, with some going so far as to allege epidermal abrasions or perforations.
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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
A tattoo of a single tear, indicating he has killed a man
The Mirror US click bait "article" link headline reads Pauly McCartney fans notice sad detail during his Saturday night live appearance. Pictured is Paul with a small black speck near the corner of his right eye
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jordan! @jordanjamboree.pittbert.gay · 20/02/2025
what's the old saying, punks are nice people pretending to be mean and hippies are bad people pretending to be nice
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carly rae jepstein @die-hardman.com · 20/02/2025
society lost something when our fiction stopped including rayguns
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Guillotine Hunger Force @handle.invalid · 20/02/2025
"someone else kill the king"
slicin' up eyeballs @eyeballslicer
A liberal is someone who opposes every war except the current war and supports all civil rights movements except the one that's going on right now.
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gardner(d) @docgardner.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
gay pa pa pa, pa pa pa pa pa gay better run run run run run run pa gay
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Patio Yeller @patioyeller.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
youtu.be/Sl4JbBK--Bo?...
youtu.be
i made you a sandwich
YouTube video by arbxr
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farner @farnerb0cken.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
psycho killer… my dad is gay
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BIG tortoise goth gf 🐢 @bigtortoisegothgf.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
beautiful 🥹
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the corgi from cowboy bebop @realqrampage.fightins.online · 20/02/2025
all white men are Matt until proven otherwise
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BIG tortoise goth gf 🐢 @bigtortoisegothgf.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
THIS IS HOW ITS DONE BUDS 💥🐢💥
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C. Bukowski @thishurt.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
They aren’t buttholes they’re party portals. 🧐
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Yooberz 🍤 @yooberz.postes.club · 20/02/2025
dog dogges hog dot
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mothra stewart @gorl.gay · 20/02/2025
if u think im subskeeting u, im not. im literally thinking about coleslaw. do not worry baby, i accept u and ur compulsion to post about buttholes. you got this.
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badtrick @badtrick.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
apropos of nothing, I'm going to write three words with no deeper message: explosive golf ball
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Lucky Dog Hot Sauce @luckydoghotsauce.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
What about being stabbed up the butt while using the toilet by an assassin who crawled up in that nastiness?
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BIG tortoise goth gf 🐢 @bigtortoisegothgf.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
HEY I THINK IT'S A GREAT TIME TO PLAY MY FAVORITE GAME!!!!! *REGGAETON HORNS BLARING* 🚨🎊💥✨💥🐢💥✨💥🎊🚨 UNHINGED QUOTE SKEETS W ABSOLUTELY ZERO CONTEXT!!!!! 🚨🎊💥✨💥🐢💥✨💥🎊🚨 LET'S FUCKEN GOOOO FEEL FREE TO JOIN IN THE FUN & SKEET WHATEVER RIDICULOUS & FUCKED UP STRINGS OF WORDS YOU FIND
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BIG tortoise goth gf 🐢 @bigtortoisegothgf.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
there's a noise that Tyrus makes almost exclusively in his sleep... like he usually grunts & chirps softly, but every once in a while he'll make a noise I can only describe as a pleasantly surprised "OH!" like he woke up with a mango under his claw or something ☺️🐢😂 one day i WILL get it recorded!!
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bites u @snuffbait.bsky.social · 19/02/2025
thinking about a bi girl x lesbian wlw couple where the bi girl brings boys over and gets her brains fucked out while her girlfriend sits in the cuck chair in pained discomfort on the verge of tears watching and getting so horny im about to pass the fuck out
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 19/02/2025
Friend just confirmed via text she's putting her cat down and Apple Intelligence just suggested I respond "haha I feel you."
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