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@tombraun.bsky.social
78 followers 122 following 1K posts

Writer. Coder. Neurodivergent. Creator of @tomorrow-bot.bsky.social.

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 5h
Someone at work once asked me what my guilty pleasure was and I immediately shot back “pleasure never makes me feel guilty.” I’ve seldom felt cooler than I did in that moment. Literally one minute later I tripped on an extension cord and hit my head on a whiteboard in front of the entire office
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Rebecca de Autumn🍂 @sweetpeebs.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
“why are we sourcing all of our pistachios from a threshold?” “maybe we should hear what sticky ricky has to say” “i’m sorry, how exactly are you powering this facility?” “listen, i know extradimensional beings gave me this job, but i’d really appreciate it if we all pitched in together as a team”
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Rebecca de Autumn🍂 @sweetpeebs.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
fbc bureaucrats would hate it if mamdani had the service weapon. he’d say things like “well i think people should have breaks longer than 2 minutes at a time” and “why are you torturing that little bald boy” and they’d be so mad at him for it
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Dan O’Sullivan @osullyville.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
So proud I am not in whatever Matrix exists to subject one to hearing Choosing Texas. I've never heard it and it's not weird I havent. I feel like Morpheus, or perhaps Switch, or Dozer. Or Apoc of course. Trinity, Mouse. Perhaps even Cypher. Neo. If we are talking sequels, maybe Niobe, Link,
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korpisworld @kwkorpi.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
If you see me jogging, please kill whatever is behind me.
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cancel couture @tombraun.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I'm not convinced that there has EVER been an American music monoculture. "What about Elvis? What about The Beatles??" Well those artists were huge with the baby boomer generation, but not so much with their parents, many of whom stubbornly clung to old favorites like Sinatra and Bing Crosby.
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cancel couture @tombraun.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
A lot of Bluesky Discourse this weekend over this Rolling Stone article about people who 'claim' they've never heard Ella Langley's "Choosin' Texas." Which is fair. Having an expectation that in the Year of Our Lord 2026 there is a modern song that EVERYONE has heard of is frankly unhinged.
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alexvaleriehill.bsky.social @alexvaleriehill.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
"People are lying if they say they've never heard 'Riceball Scrotum', by the world's most popular and bestest band 'Lycan Subscribe'. My experiences and tastes are universal, so stop pretending you're individuals. Nothing else exists but me!"
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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Data centers promise jobs but hire few people That's why I propose a law that every data center must hire 1,000 Priests of Data to worship the computers, pray to the servers, light candles, etc. The priests will boost the local economy and fill the air with the sweet sound of their Gregorian chants
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cancel couture @tombraun.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Playing Control Resonant with my Steam status online just as a flex.
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It Was A Sh*t Show @itwasashtshow.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Making a godless war is hard. Let’s talk about how difficult it was to make Troy, from dealing with hurricanes and wars, to Brad Pitt enduring the most ironic injury. Watch or listen! linktr.ee/itwasashtshow
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Ken Jennings @kenjennings.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
There's a new one on tonight. I'm not sure you have time to catch up on the previous 9,400 episodes, so it might be hard to follow.
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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
“let’s get one thing straight” - inventor of the level
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cancel couture @tombraun.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Nobody's ever called me "you big galoot" and honestly that's sad
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Patrick K Mills @pkernaghan.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I only discovered the band lord Huron recently but I really like how they sing about love like it's cosmic horror (it is)
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Futurism @futurism.com · 24/09/2026
"I was surprised at our findings because the word 'brain' implies a contiguous organ that likely has a singular origin."
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Stanford Scientists Find That the Human Brain Is Actually Two Separate Organs
A team led by scientists at Stanford University determined that the human brain is technically made up of two distinct organs.
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cancel couture @tombraun.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
This is an insane thing to say.
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tomorrow bot @tomorrow-bot.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
4737. THE FUTURE. A heated Roblox argument about ballmaxxing escalates into full-blown thermonoclear war. In other news, a petition to reset the timeline to 1953 gains over 50 thousand signatures.
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Disney Prime Video + ᵖᵃʳᵒᵈʸ @disneyprimevideo.bsky.social · 10/01/2025
The Social Network (2010)
The Social Network poster with stylized text overlay "I"m Starting To Think David Fincher Went Way Too Easy On This Fucking Dork"
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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
go away Mondays, nobody likes you
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cancel couture @tombraun.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
A thing I created is @tomorrow-bot.bsky.social , a bot that periodically posts prognostications about the future. No AI or LLMs involved, it is basically an overly-elaborate Mad Lib built using python. Tomorrow Bot amuses me sometimes. Maybe it will amuse you too!
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Louie Stowell @louiestowell.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
What to get the classicist that has everything jdandkateindustries.com/products/lba
jdandkateindustries.com
Late Bronze Age Collapse-Scented Candle
Finally, someone (us) has made a candle commemorating everyone’s favorite late 13th century widespread societal collapse.
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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
If you read the Costco membership contract’s fine print, for every $100 they save you, you have to serve them for 100 years in the afterlife. This is still generally considered a pretty good deal
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Chris Person @papapishu.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
You don’t need to make action movies conservative coded like half of them are about one guy trying to beat up a human trafficking ring anyway.
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Skellyton 🦇 @infinitefinite.blog · 01/11/2025
You can pry the Oxford Comma from my cold, dead, and third adjective hands.
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cancel couture @tombraun.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Of course he does.
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
i saved thousands on my car insurance by returning to the sea
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tara @weedlejuice.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Everyone hates it when I pack too many items for our weekend outing and become too encumbered to fast travel to a location
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tomorrow bot @tomorrow-bot.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
THE YEAR IS 9902 AD. Disaster has struck: The AI-pocalypse ravages Planet Earth. With nowhere else to turn, the President turns to a last, final resort: asking Anthropic's Claude.
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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
We raised enough money at last week's fundraising drive to send 400 underprivileged lobsters to portugal for some reason. And that's just the beginning of whatever it is we're trying to achieve
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Futurism @futurism.com · 10/09/2026
This is ugly.
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OpenAI's Supposed Mathematical Breakthrough Devolves Into Explosive Drama as Mathematician Accuses It of Stealing His Work
A mathematician has made startling claims about OpenAI after the AI company claimed to have solved a huge problem in math.
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sam @samthielman.com · 18/01/2024
A cat is a celebrity for your apartment
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cancel couture @tombraun.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Look, I don't want to victim-blame here, but cats WILL go to neighboring houses and pretend they don't have a home to get food. It's just a thing they do.
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cancel couture @tombraun.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
It's easy to be nostalgic for the past, but you have to remember that everything wrong with the present started there.
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hammancheez @hammancheez.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
This is artificial girlfriend genocide
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Michael Warburton @michaelwarburton.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
In 1947 10yr old Richard Allen of San Francisco spent a week at the movies
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
This day in history. 44 BC. The first of Cicero's 14 oratories on Mark Antony: how did Antony play so much stickball with bone spurs, why did he spend so much time sailing with his scribe Natalia, why wasn't his son Baronus fighting in the war in Persia, and why was his wife living with gladiators.
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[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Whoa we’re halfway there Whoa-oh, gonna need a chair🎶
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Riker Googling @rikergoogling.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
klingons gone dishonorable spring break
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tomorrow bot @tomorrow-bot.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
THE YEAR IS 2046 AD. At a press conference, Judy Greer announces she is actually a clone infilitrator. People scream as her arm transforms into a machine gun.
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Lizzlepants 🐒 @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
people who have feelings are soooo exhausting
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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Yeah break ups hurt, but have you ever watched your favorite movie with someone and they tell you not to pause it when they have to go to the bathroom?
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disc horse bot @horsedisc.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Anyway, Grand Theft Auto is arguably an incel narrative, so let's be careful about labeling the dumpster diving housewife a Zoroastrian icon.
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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
[sighing to my wife at the table of a nice restaurant] No no no, milkshake ducks are just for racism. if you're complaining about fascists or homophobes, that's a drone metal orthodox priest guitarist. You don't think it makes a difference, but I'm saying it does. I am not raising my voice.
Drone Metal Orthodox Priest Guitarist Responds to Fascism, Homophobia Accusations
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Bro is festooned with the accouterments of frivolity 💀💀💀
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tomorrow bot @tomorrow-bot.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
IT IS THE YEAR 2351. A heated Twitch debate about Drake vs Kendrick Lamar escalates into an exchange of ballistic missiles between Pakistan and Saudi Arabia. In other news, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. tweets trollface memes about Timothée Chalamet dissing opera and ballet.
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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
I got in on the ground floor of a successful company. The lobby is beautiful. Here comes security.
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cancel couture @tombraun.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Finally getting the chance to crack into the new Robert Jackson Bennett book and it's already shaping up to be a doozy.
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John Scalzi @scalzi.com · 21/08/2026
I tell people all the time that I got lucky with my career and it annoys a lot of them. "No, but you're good," they will say, and I will say, yes, I am good, and also here are all these people who write as well as I do but did not get the same break, so being good isn't the issue, being lucky is.
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