iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

My doctor says that if I lose any more weight I may have to move to a smaller shirt size.

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Masochists love walking on eggshells.

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r/bullyingadvice I need help dealing with snakeroot I'm crab man.

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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 14h

r/bullyingadvice My bully found out I've been using this subreddit... I'm starting to think this sub hasn't helped with my problem at all. >This thread has been closed by moderators

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r/bullyingadvice I've been texting with this girl and she said she wants to "hit it from the back" I'm not sure what she means. Is this a type of bullying and how do I stop it?

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deuteronomy @thuleanperspective.bsky.social · 14h

I could probably be tricked into an emotion by a television or a man behaving like a television

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Your Favorite Bad Movie Podcast @favoritebadmovie.bsky.social · 15h

Coming this Sunday, our Spooky Season Scaretacular c ontinues with Episode 126: Healing Towers featuring @crabman.bsky.social!

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Your home should have one of each shape in it.

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I don't use dating apps because I'm probably the easiest person to catfish in the entire world.

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If they take my James Bond tweet and use it in the next movie I would like to get at least 150 dollars.

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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I successfully avoided a second crab man week of suffering. I pray you all avoid having one as well.

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Opening a liminal haunted house for Halloween. I'm just gonna remove all the furniture from my house and let people walk around it for 20 bucks.

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rare body oils @rarebodyoils.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

my buddy Bradlotion: Exotic Wildlife. Brunch and cookies with invisible women me: what ? my buddy Bradlotion: Im just writing down my thoughts me: you didnt write that down. you said it to me my buddy Bradlotion: Maybe u should be writing it down

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rare body oils @rarebodyoils.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

me: (2 steppin intergalactic style to Kraftwerk's entire discography w/seven or eight salarian rudeboys at Afterlife) sweet ass asari shorty: Hey...Wow..u guys are really getting down. Can i dance with u? (smiles) me: (elbowing her off the dance floor as i continue to go fucking crazy with the boys)

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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Peacock is a shambolic streaming service. A remnant of when operating a streaming platform at huge expense and with zero revenue was all the rage. They don't even have ads to run.

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deuteronomy @thuleanperspective.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I could easily conceal information from you, I would just use secrecy

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I am a hollaback girl. There is no good media for us.

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If monkey business ever happened to me I would probably performatively self harm. To try and make it stop.

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Boosting for visibility is when I retweet an account with 10x more followers than me and operates in basically the same circles.

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🎩🦐☕️🏰🍚🪸🪸🐚 @theshrimpening3.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

#almondadvicesaturday please ask me your almond questions and I will collect them to answer on my almond advice stream this saturday.

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chuck nortis’s dick has a fist for a head

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Dollop of Mayo 🫠 @dollop-of-mayo.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

chuc norbert has a beard where his fist should be and a fist where his beard should be but under the first is a beard and under THAT beard is a knife that he uses to kill god

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Razzle Bathbone @razzlebathbone.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

When Chuck Norres shaves, he has to use a very special razor. I don’t know why

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Decadent Foolish @tveducator.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

If Chuck Noris takes an bath he doesn't even have to use soap or water.

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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 29/09/2026

chuck Norris doesn’t put on pants. Pants put in chunk notice

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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 25/12/2024

When chuck noreis opens a door the knob it gets turned the other way, even from normal.

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Leftists are always posting really horny shit and then claiming that their phones got hacked, or that like their grandma stole their phone. Bro, who is hacking your phone? Your Oenis?!

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one note parody account devolved into railing abou @walkingjalopy.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

how get swamp thinged and revenge for getting swamp thinged

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Villein 🔒 @villein.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

rigging up a full body enclosure out of treadmills from the side of the road and spending my evenings in it until i'm smooth and glossy like a tumbled rock

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midgie @midgie.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

(JAMES BOND walks up to a fancy bar) BOND: Do you have child/baby energy drinks that come in a pouch or juice box container? BARTENDER: Let me see if we have anything in the back. (BARTENDER reaches down and presses a button labeled "James Bond". They don't move or stop making eye contact with BOND)

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the thing is you don’t want to be a chuckler

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Hitler was a dog person and (trying to think of someone that people on here would universally like) Virgina Wolf was a cat person.

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Having nostalgia and making engagement bait posts about nostalgia is ableist against people with shit childhoods but y'all aren't ready for that conversation.

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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

I became disillusioned with fame when I first downloaded Twitter and all the most popular posts were a picture of a burger king burger wrapper from 2005 with the text "remember when burger king burger wrappers looked like this:".

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(Gf is showing her friend around our house, I'm sitting on the couch watching tv) Gf: This is the living room. Friend: Wow, nice tv! Gf: Watch this (Gf pulls out a bubble wand and blows bubbles into the living room. I run around the living room popping them with glee) Gf: He loves his bubbles.

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I'm working on a new theory called Super Theory that basically encompasses all ideas and concepts inside of it.

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Mate we are on an absolute run lately.

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