Reposted by John of the NorthWendy @wendyb07.bsky.social · 03/07/2026Sometimes I look over at the recumbent bike I’m not using and say, “you’re doing great.” 17625
Reposted by John of the NorthJake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 02/07/2026I have many friends who live in "The South." Not once have they used an expression like "Don't part my hair with a pick-axe and tell me it's a hot apple pie." They disappoint me. 8488
Reposted by John of the Northkorpisworld @kwkorpi.bsky.social · 02/07/2026I wonder what name ants give to having the top of their mound sheered off by a lawn mower. I bet it’s tornado death sword. 22310
Reposted by John of the North𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 30/06/2026Me: Can someone take a look at this rash? The other people at the bus stop: 313146
Reposted by John of the NorthEMCKAYVEE @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 30/06/2026Changing my Microsoft Teams status to “It’s Complicated” 57514
John of the North @shutupmac.bsky.social · 30/06/2026If you see this post your mentorstatic.klipy.comValkilmer RealgenAlt: Val Kilmer as Chris Knight in the movie “Real Genius”. He’s cutting frozen liquid nitrogen into slices the size of quarters for the vending machines. The text reads “Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid”. The quote continues “with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?” 072
Reposted by John of the Northmean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 29/06/2026Old enough to recognize this as a data center 976259593482
John of the North @shutupmac.bsky.social · 29/06/2026If I were a transformer I'd probably be a tape recorder from 1983 182
Reposted by John of the NorthPAM! @pamtoo.bsky.social · 29/06/2026This heat being what it is remember to take the time to properly hydrate with a nice egg salad sandwich. 412242
Reposted by John of the NorthJason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 29/06/2026*took two Benadryl 30 mins ago* think I might be the best at operating heavy machinery 1349692
Reposted by John of the NorthJeff Mac @jeffmacishere.bsky.social · 29/06/2026your package is on its way! we don't know anything about it! we don't even HAVE it yet, lol! do you want to hear about the label? we worked really hard on the label! 34615
John of the North @shutupmac.bsky.social · 27/06/2026My Onlyfans is just me repeatedly telling the dogs to stop jumping on me 1104
Reposted by John of the NorthJake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 26/06/2026My parents are going away this weekend, so keg party at my place. 1013423
Reposted by John of the Northbacon popsicle 🧴 @gupton68.bsky.social · 26/06/2026me: all belts are off her: I think you mean all bets— me: *eyeing the all-you-can-eat buffet* I said what I said 224790
John of the North @shutupmac.bsky.social · 26/06/2026Fridays are great but I wish they were more like Saturdays 000
Reposted by John of the NorthCynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 26/06/2026I'm not complaining, per se, I just thought there'd be more holograms by now. 911848
Reposted by John of the NorthAshley @ashleysays.bsky.social · 25/06/2026Going to give it the old college try: sleeping to avoid doing stuff 24713
Reposted by John of the NorthJason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 25/06/2026Imagine if dogs knew there were bones inside them 16661197
Reposted by John of the Northruth bader yinzburgh @violetvolume.bsky.social · 25/06/2026Verify you are a human to continue reading. Turn off your ad blocker to continue reading. Submit your email to continue reading. Subscribe to continue reading. Fuck off I'm not reading it then 551103137
John of the North @shutupmac.bsky.social · 25/06/2026Bluesky mestatic.klipy.comBedazzled: Man Waving with CigaretteALT: Bedazzled: Man Waving with Cigarette 041
Reposted by John of the Northspleenly @spleenly.bsky.social · 25/06/2026You should be able to send a piece-of-shit-o-gram to remind someone they're a piece of shit. 44117
John of the North @shutupmac.bsky.social · 25/06/2026The Great American State Fair. Being held in Washington D.C. Which isn't a state. And isn't a fair. 021
Reposted by John of the NorthMajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 25/06/2026Fool me once, I probably won't even notice. Fool me twice and I might, but probably not. 022
Reposted by John of the NorthReverie @augustreverie.bsky.social · 25/06/2026I tried to muffle a sneeze in the crook of my bare arm and it made a super loud fart sound instead 1515531
Reposted by John of the NorthJimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 25/06/2026This day in history. 1906. In New York City finance heir Harry Thaw fatally shot prominent architect Stanford White in the face for ruining his wife and sporting an abominable moustache. A jury found that White's moustache had driven Thaw temporarily insane. 57732
Reposted by John of the NorthJake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 25/06/2026*brings guitar to campfire circle *tunes guitar *waits for everyone to be quiet *gently places guitar on campfire 734659
John of the North @shutupmac.bsky.social · 25/06/2026I put on this video of dogs and music to help the boys with their separation anxiety while I’m at work and so far I’ve seen 5 dogs take a piss 010
Reposted by John of the NorthErin Eph @erineph.bsky.social · 24/06/2026Every now and then archaeologists uncover a well-made, well-preserved 2,500-year-old chariot. And I think future archaeologists are going to do the same thing with the Honda Acoord 041
Reposted by John of the NorthAnnaAnkaAnia @samerealwoman.bsky.social · 24/06/2026You should always agree to a quick 30-min drink with your best friend because that 1.5 hours can be the best 6 hours of your life. 218751
John of the North @shutupmac.bsky.social · 24/06/2026The energy I'm bringing to America's 250th birthday:static.klipy.comPerson Sleeping on Airplane Engine Mid-FlightALT: Person Sleeping on Airplane Engine Mid-Flight 030
John of the North @shutupmac.bsky.social · 24/06/2026They should be looking for someone with a much larger head. MUCH larger. 020
Reposted by John of the NorthJuiceticles @juiceticles.bsky.social · 24/06/2026Tried to slide into her DMs and broke my clavicle 46527
John of the North @shutupmac.bsky.social · 24/06/2026The walk of shame except it’s just me finally going in the house after scrolling my phone in the driveway for 43 minutes 020
John of the North @shutupmac.bsky.social · 23/06/2026I’ve fallen off the wagon and am once again addicted to laffy taffy 242
John of the North @shutupmac.bsky.social · 23/06/2026(watching all this capital reflection pool algae coverage): what a bunch of dumbasses 041
Reposted by John of the Northstefan @stefanthinks.bsky.social · 23/06/2026i hope you don’t think it’s weird, but sometimes i open your profile picture and zoom in on your face so it fills the screen and air kiss next to your cheeks to pretend like we’re europeans saying hello 23713
John of the North @shutupmac.bsky.social · 22/06/2026I was a different person when I joined this meeting 031
Reposted by John of the Northspleenly @spleenly.bsky.social · 19/06/2026They're only intrusive thoughts for the first 7 years, after which they obtain squatters' rights. 111034
John of the North @shutupmac.bsky.social · 19/06/2026Staying home from work to play Fallout should be a paid absence 011
John of the North @shutupmac.bsky.social · 19/06/2026Share a movie soundtrack you lovestatic.klipy.comReal Genius: Happy and Sad for YouALT: Real Genius: Happy and Sad for You 120
Reposted by John of the NorthSentient Bunnysuit @sentientbunnysuit.bsky.social · 18/06/2026I wouldn't say "descent into madness." it's more of a lateral move. 183
John of the North @shutupmac.bsky.social · 18/06/2026QTP with a video game that transports you back to your childhood!static.klipy.comTRON ARCADE GAME 1982 BALLY MIDWAY retro oldskool video gameALT: TRON ARCADE GAME 1982 BALLY MIDWAY retro oldskool video game 030
Reposted by John of the North𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 17/06/2026Ever have a dream that had such a good feel, you woke up wanting to crawl back into it and live there? 610223
Reposted by John of the North𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 17/06/2026“I hate his guts” is pretty oddly specific. How do you feel about his knees? 1016155