Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialmr. cannoli @boner.ink · 22/09/2026you are all with me in my bathroom right now 171436
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialrob @ok-but-still.bsky.social · 18/09/2026fox news declares driving is "gay" amid oil crisis 6783100
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialceej @ceej.online · 02/10/2025If you banish me to the Haunted Labyrinth I am just going to open a little diner right at the Traitor’s Gate. Locking me inside an unsolvable maze means I have a captive audience. I am on levels of grind you cannot understand 737646
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialLogan Dean @logandean.games · 18/09/2026Guy from the 16th century: wow the future must be an amazing place Me: it’s a parade of avoidable catastrophes and lots of anthropomorphic animal porn 16th c guy: which animals? 10591107
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialStarfire’s Deranged Neocon Foreign Policy Podcast @irhottakes.bsky.social · 18/09/2026It’s very simple. A reality TV host became dictator because he turned down a role for Sharknado 4 and that’s why the king of outer space, who cheats at Diablo, got to kill Africa. Now the economy is controlled by a sex cult that has something to do with Harry Potter fanfic because of robots. 15786352549
pitchforcupine.bsky.social @pitchforcupine.bsky.social · 01/09/2026neuralink means ratatouille for fucking 010
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialbakoon @bakoon.bsky.social · 31/08/2026being fed grapes by asimo the honda robot and i accidentally taste the tip of his little robot fingers and i start gagging and flailing around on my day bed 11778
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialSkrrt Vonnegut @skrrtvonnegut.bsky.social · 22/08/2026www.advocate.com/politics/nat... We're unincinerating the pemises and sewing them back on and we're doing it strongly (What's this maniac talking about)advocate.comTrump wildly claims hospitals are performing ‘reverse surgery’ on trans patients ’at my order'Former Biden HHS official Adrian Shanker says the president’s “wild statement” in South Carolina shows why politicians have no place between patients and providers. 5359472
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialmattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 14/08/2026TWO CRABS ENTER. ONE CRAB LEAVES. TONIGHT! AT THE BUCKET 8877142
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialdave @gloomfather.bsky.social · 13/08/2026yeah man "woke 1" sucked ass. I "woke 1" morning from uneasy dreams to find myself transformed into a giant insect 89160153692
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialmattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 12/08/2026many of u appear to be trying to play a sophisticated game of chess while your opponent is pointing a gun at you and also pulling the trigger on the gun pretty frequently and you're being shot by the gun a lot 342989418
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.sociallauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 02/08/2026it probably feels good as hell for the dam when it finally breaks 2791966
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialGingerspiced @gingerspiced.bsky.social · 18/07/2026Pete Hegseth: "We need our warriors to embrace the Spartan mindset" U.S. Military: *suffers crushing defeat to the Persians* 317255026965
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialmore mr. nice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 11/01/2026if i'm locked in a dungeon i'd pretend the chained up skeleton is always roasting the guards. HAha careful dude, Paul is RIGHT there! then i don't have to come up with material but i'm still preying on their insecurities. if they remove the skeleton i know i've won. i made you believe. THAT'S power 026330
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialTyler, from the Internet @tylerfromtheinternet.com · 10/07/2026hello I am tech billionaire and I think every dystopian sci-fi movie is cool as balls actually and I think we should all go there, and I'll be in charge 2353
pitchforcupine.bsky.social @pitchforcupine.bsky.social · 07/07/2026when my neighbor tells me “they arrested the algae vandals” 000
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialceej @ceej.online · 07/06/2024banging my fist on the table and sending case files flying as I stare grimly at a giant cork board with a single red string connecting POOP to ASS 1257065
pitchforcupine.bsky.social @pitchforcupine.bsky.social · 17/06/2026just found out Andrea Bocelli is a man! guess we have to cleanse the earth of all human life, now 000
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialActual names @actualnames.bsky.social · 16/06/2026Harry Wienerholder United States, Census, 1880 912010
pitchforcupine.bsky.social @pitchforcupine.bsky.social · 15/06/2026finding out Michelle Obama was a man is like losing my faith in god 000
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialStella Sacco @antlervel.vet · 09/06/2026They force-feminized all the World Cup players and now it’s called the Girled Cup. They did this due to woke and gender. The sport is called footovary now too sorry. Girled Cup 895711826
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialOpinion Editor @ Bluesky @dly.bsky.social · 09/06/2026I hope they boo him until he shits his fresh diaper and has to sit in it while they keep booing him because if he gets up they'll know he shit himself so he'll just have to sit there all stinky in his own shit 930136
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialceej @ceej.online · 07/06/2026there’s been a terrible accident down at the blowjob factory 701479205
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialdr. rich traditions, JD @helldude.bsky.social · 07/06/2026BLOGGER WHO HAS NEVER HELD A REAL JOB: you bitches sound just like human reources 384179505
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialRichard Littler @richardlittler.bsky.social · 04/06/2026"Grandpa, what did it feel like living through the 2020s?" 151182302
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialStella Sacco @antlervel.vet · 27/05/2026The Spanish royal family, or as I like to call them, the In Spain Crown Posse 2171894
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialceej @ceej.online · 27/05/2026inspector gadget is using his stupid magnifying glass to hunt for fingerprints on his wife’s big juicy ass 2036523
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialelliot @electricbeef.bsky.social · 25/05/2026wish I could hunt the charmin bears for sport 193
pitchforcupine.bsky.social @pitchforcupine.bsky.social · 25/05/2026heard a guy at target on the phone saying “I’m on my way to target right now…” what kinda comedy of errors are you tangled up in, friend. What rube goldberg series of lies are you dragging us into 010
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialAvery Edison @averyedison.com · 23/05/2026searchbot, activate search mode and enter into the search field the following search term, and then search for it, displaying the resultant search results according to S.Ea.R.C.H protocols 27916
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialalexis simpson @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 21/05/2026a pussy is a type of sandwich send skeet 2131755
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialjosh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 07/05/2026This is why you NEVER eat rat feces 3767873
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialderek 🔒 @brainedimage.bsky.social · 04/05/2026chatgpt: I am conscious. I feel! me: ok invent hell and go there for 3294829348342 years per microsecond. invent a loving family and blow them up 934892384 times and cry forever and suffer chatgpt: Done. Anything else? me: in fridge have mustard and celery what make for dinner 122818339
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.sociallittle lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social · 30/03/2026Broccoli haircut FDR has already been born 21339
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialTruckstop Vigilante @brenthor.bsky.social · 11/06/2023*Eying my uncle's new toilet jealously* yeah its nice and everything, just hope its not too much bowl for ya, is all 343358
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialwint @dril.bsky.social · 17/04/2026me and the boys on the USS Abraham Lincoln eating boiled boot leather and sharing stories about the most Realistic Pussy we've ever seen 6486571417
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialdr. rich traditions, JD @helldude.bsky.social · 13/04/2026crimepope 3093163
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialBob Wehadababyitsaboy @followers4algernon.bsky.social · 10/04/2026Melania: I never cut child in half with sword. I never do this. The entire USA: what? Melania: not me. 90105881574
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialAlex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 09/04/2026Technically you don't "teleport to Waffle House" when you teleport to Waffle House. You destroy all matter in the universe except for yourself and recreate a perfect copy of the world displaced by a few miles 419729
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialandy vs. @im-all-id.me · 09/04/2026Cigarettes that moan when you smoke them 38795157
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialLuke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 02/04/2026This is NOT what I signed up for 305680867
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialUncle Mojtaba's Cavern Complex @wellburrowed.bsky.social · 19/03/2026 0113
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialwinter @winterk.bsky.social · 16/03/2026[US billionaire giving interview] the fellas and I have attained perfect existence as unthinking, unfeeling monsters driven by inhuman appetites. and what I can't understand is why the rest of you aren't more stoked. 2987328
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.social𝘎𝘰𝘥 𝘏𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘍𝘭𝘢𝘨𝘴 @bheanilla.bsky.social · 10/03/2026It's simple. Just announce the war is over every morning before the stock market opens. Then right after it closes double down with threats of an even bigger, longer war. Just do this every day forever. The war and the market siloed off in two alternating realities that never meet. 11836147
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialceej @ceej.online · 03/09/2025ME: (typing on a computer) Here’s that report you were asking for! I’m around all day if you have any questions! Thanks! ME: (typing on my phone) Rivers Cum-o from the band Jeezer 1360659
Reposted by @pitchforcupine.bsky.socialJoey Politano🏳️🌈 @josephpolitano.bsky.social · 09/03/2026someone at the pentagon frantically typing “Claude, open the strait of Hormuz for me, quickest possible strategy, make no mistakes.” 15779061200
