Hoofie Girl @kaitisnotreal.bsky.social · 09/10/2026I don't post much over here anymore because I discovered trolling oldies over on Nextdoor 2143
Reposted by Hoofie GirlFrances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 06/10/2026vampire who likes to hang out with his fang out 39232
Hoofie Girl @kaitisnotreal.bsky.social · 06/10/2026I can't wait until enough time passes where my phone isn't trying to show me my own nudes from 5 years ago with some bullshit like, "On this day" 040
Hoofie Girl @kaitisnotreal.bsky.social · 18/07/2026I would rather give up my daily Celsius than look at another dick in the DMs 073
Hoofie Girl @kaitisnotreal.bsky.social · 16/07/2026When a guy sends me an unsolicited selfie, this is what it looks like to me 083
Reposted by Hoofie GirlDan of the Year @downwithdan.bsky.social · 11/07/2026New reaction pic just dropped 143073358
Reposted by Hoofie Girlmean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 11/07/2026I get my annual physicals just like everyone else, every six weeks with a team of 22 specialists 324451
Reposted by Hoofie GirlMal a BOO 👻 @hallowedverses.bsky.social · 08/07/2026The feminine urge to hit people with a frying pan 1422670
Hoofie Girl @kaitisnotreal.bsky.social · 09/07/2026Love getting home and finding out I have been inadvertently free bleeding from an untimely period and realizing my crotch smells like a defunct penny factory 060
Reposted by Hoofie GirlTits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 30/06/2026A mental breakdown so huge I need to rent a venue. 1238
Reposted by Hoofie GirlPrincess of Whales @princessofwhales2.bsky.social · 30/06/2026Gonna start the extended school year program tomorrow and Thursday in 100 and 102 degree heat respectively. Do you think it would be okay if I went just dressed in ice? 3257
Hoofie Girl @kaitisnotreal.bsky.social · 30/06/2026This is your monthly reminder that Kait is not real and everyone loves authenticity, as flawed as that might be or as scary as it might be to be vulnerable and true [various horse sounds] 021
Hoofie Girl @kaitisnotreal.bsky.social · 08/06/2026Being the wearer of slutty little glasses is rough because like obviously I want you to cum but I find it deeply disrespectful if you say you want to on my glasses 031
Reposted by Hoofie GirlMiss Havishambles @misshavishambles.bsky.social · 04/05/2026The fourth of maybe is that like the twelfth of never 24017
Reposted by Hoofie GirlOpinion Editor @ Bluesky @dly.bsky.social · 04/05/2026ordering everyone in my family a Rudy Giuliani Funko Pop for Christmas this year 614625
Hoofie Girl @kaitisnotreal.bsky.social · 04/05/2026I only come over here now to spy on people who blocked me on main but some enterprising fellow or gal blocked me on both somehow. Farewell, mine enemy, I (didn't) barely knew ye 030
Reposted by Hoofie Girlkattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 30/03/2026i like to assign a numerical value to the orgasms i get from my sex toys . vibe rater , is what im saying 27828
Reposted by Hoofie Girljeff 🎃 @jeffjefferson89.bsky.social · 30/03/2026spinoff called "the glizzard of oz" where all the characters go on a magical journey to get a hotdog 3228
Reposted by Hoofie Girl† Wristy The Terrible † @wristroom.bsky.social · 30/03/2026labubu is the singular form of labia 312457
Reposted by Hoofie GirlFun @funkelly.bsky.social · 30/03/2026i just had a really good idea but apparently it’s not a novel onezenithrentalsupplies.comMoet & Chandon Champagne Vending Machine | Zenith SuppliesBuy Moet & Chandon Champagne Vending Machine Online Moet & Chandon Champagne Vending Machine Description of Moët & Chandon Champagne vending machine Moët & Chandon, one of the world's ... 3306
Reposted by Hoofie Girlspleenly @spleenly.bsky.social · 27/03/2026I'll see your sabre rattling and raise you a jerk-off motion. 02712
Reposted by Hoofie GirlBoo B 👻🐝 @vtbee80.bsky.social · 03/03/2026eating tonight’s dinner (egg sandwich) and thinking about tomorrow’s dinner (egg sandwich) 25414
Hoofie Girl @kaitisnotreal.bsky.social · 24/02/2026If my boyfriend called me "gal" on the skyline I would burn all his dick pics 040
Reposted by Hoofie GirlJake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 23/02/2026Yes, he knew he was a good boy. But how good? 719030
Hoofie Girl @kaitisnotreal.bsky.social · 02/02/2026This is my daughter, Lottie. Short for axolotl 0297
Reposted by Hoofie GirlDaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 18/01/2026a nickel for my thoughts? holy shit, that’s a 400% pay increase. thank you! 04915
Reposted by Hoofie Girldawn of the debb @debbshock.com · 18/01/2026literally a cartoon character 6222
Hoofie Girl @kaitisnotreal.bsky.social · 10/01/2026Low-hanging fruit? Please don't talk about my boobs 23213
Hoofie Girl @kaitisnotreal.bsky.social · 09/01/2026Send me a dick pic, but just the hub where it connects 2163
Hoofie Girl @kaitisnotreal.bsky.social · 08/01/2026I made a late resolution to become Swedish this year (not move there just eat 35 lbs of candy) 0101
Reposted by Hoofie GirlReverie @augustreverie.bsky.social · 21/12/2025I hope to find your package under my tree 86521
Reposted by Hoofie GirlUncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 17/12/2025Bravo, anonymous hero. 22927200
Hoofie Girl @kaitisnotreal.bsky.social · 17/12/2025Do-over? The only do-over I want is me going back in time and I don't open the DM of your dick pic 091
Reposted by Hoofie Girlmean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 16/12/2025I am thinking about resolving to be less helpful in 2026. Just be a real pain in the ass. Across the board 719253
Hoofie Girl @kaitisnotreal.bsky.social · 16/12/2025This could be us but you insist that we not be real bros 0154
Reposted by Hoofie Girlsweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 13/12/2025having a conjugal visit with a pan of leftover lasagna 814937
Hoofie Girl @kaitisnotreal.bsky.social · 12/12/2025I would love for someone else to ask me why I didn't answer their email or phone call. If I couldn't manage that, do you think I magically have better answers for you now? 0113
Reposted by Hoofie GirlJackie Bouvier @jackiebouvier.bsky.social · 02/12/2025I know I'm prettier when I smile. I just don't give a fuck. 312244
Hoofie Girl @kaitisnotreal.bsky.social · 02/12/2025Please know that if I really like you slash have a crush on you, there's a 99% chance I also hate you and think you make poor choices and say stupid things 151
Hoofie Girl @kaitisnotreal.bsky.social · 29/11/2025Sucked is better than skipped Works for productivity and also dicks 072
Hoofie Girl @kaitisnotreal.bsky.social · 21/11/2025I thought my ex-husband was nonstop jorking but it turns out that's what snores sound like through the guest room wall 0134
Reposted by Hoofie GirlTusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 21/11/2025At least everything that feels like a caving in wants to be there. I studied the myth of Atlas, trained with arches and rollbars, all I think about is starting up a casual rubble conversation for a one collapse stand 25639
Reposted by Hoofie Girlmean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 21/11/2025I do this thing called Whimsical Fridays where I put an autoresponder on my email and pretend like I am not sitting right there reading them and very able to respond immediately 49728