iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Cyrus O’Merican @cyrusomerican.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

KEN JENNINGS: As the rhyme goes, it’s two in the pink, this many in the stink.

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Dave Cactus @davecactus.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Fish biscuits in a snap! Fishquick™ "America's Worst Breakfast"

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Cyrus O’Merican @cyrusomerican.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

This morning I woke up with a Mandela Effect about the shape of my chin. It never had a dimple and today suddenly I’m American Dad

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Dave Cactus @davecactus.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

CALLER: Hello is this Frank Azar, the attorney? ME: No, what number did you dial? CALLER: 6-7. ME: Ahh, common mistake. You've reached 7-6.

Frank Azar billboard that shows him doing the "6-7" thing, for the youts.

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Siege @tellumsiege.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

I live in a gated community (jail)

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Cyrus O’Merican @cyrusomerican.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

[wedding night] And now, Mrs. Kelly O'Merican, I'm going to show you Big Cyrus

Television closed captioning which reads, “Kelly: I am terrified to see it.”

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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Me: I don’t understand why my cat likes playing with the laser pointer. She never catches the laser, but she keeps on playing. Also me: *buys lottery ticket*

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Cyrus O’Merican @cyrusomerican.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

[airport long-term parking, 1:22am] POLICE DETECTIVE: Tear this car apart if you have to. That fucken baby’s in here somewhere

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

There are essentially no safety regulations anymore and everything is a scam so I might as well just launch my own wellness therapy practice. I call it “chiropuncture.” It’s basically a knife fight

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batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Why don’t we say pram in the U.S.? Stroller? Baby carriage? So many damned syllables! Pram is one and done. Wham bam thank you pram.

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Cyrus O’Merican @cyrusomerican.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

Forms giving you room to write like Name:__Address:__Sex:______ DOB:__Phone:__Do not use this space

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Cyrus O’Merican @cyrusomerican.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

Plot twist: you’re every bit as stupid as your teenage kids think you are

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

Welcome to our chain hotel, breakfast is served from three in the morning until two minutes after you first start feeling hungry

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𝔏𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔏𝔞𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔏𝔬𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔢 @fleurkenstein.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

When he says he doesn’t care that you’re on your period

Chino Moreno from Deftones covered in blood from the ‘have you seen the butcher’ video. It’s a bit sensual guys

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the hype @thehyyyype.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

Mugger [pulling out knife]: give me all your money Me [inspecting the knife]: for that? I'll give you $20. Could buy it new online for $25

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It's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

I AM A MUTANT WITH A HAND FOR A FOOT

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𝔏𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔏𝔞𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔏𝔬𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔢 @fleurkenstein.bsky.social · 25/06/2026

Reminder to sporadically check on your goths in this heat. Check under logs/in shaded graveyards and leave out a little dish of water at dusk.

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Dave Cactus @davecactus.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

Booger can be spelled "bugar" so it's more like sugar, but still gross when I put it on my Cheerios.

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PAM! @pamtoo.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

Waiting for a knight to come along and plug my sewing machine in.

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Cyrus O’Merican @cyrusomerican.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

On my way to collect a beautiful moment

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Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 07/07/2023

boss: are you planning to work today? me: I already did boss: no, you have to do it all day me: what

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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

It's important for me to teach my kids to be independent and self-reliant, because I won't be around forever, especially if I win the lottery

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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

Fucked that there are a million songs about love but only one about baking me a cake as fast as you can

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Cyrus O’Merican @cyrusomerican.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

Every damn package of pens I buy is missing the instructions

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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

(having sex in the library) do me decimal system

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Stew @stewnami.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

When someone tells me they have diarrhea, I’m going to reply with “It’s all in your head”

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 05/07/2026

It’s closer than you think

A sunny highway intersection. To the right of it is a green rectangular sign that says “Mars 4” with an arrow pointing right.

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Reposted by Cyrus O’Merican

Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 06/07/2026

If you see a cat sitting and staring at a blank wall, it’s because that cat is waiting for that wall to get out of its fucking way

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Cyrus O’Merican @cyrusomerican.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

I know how to use 6% of the buttons on a microwave

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lumberjack wharfie @lumberjackwharfie.bsky.social · 01/07/2026

they got "HER POOPER" on the board on family feud ????

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Cyrus O’Merican @cyrusomerican.bsky.social · 30/06/2026

Nicknames I gave my friends: -Throwup Luke -Pee-Pee Chris -Disheveled Rob -Ugly Mike

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Rob Cee @therobcee.bsky.social · 27/06/2026

Become my friend so after someone important to you passes away, I can console you with a well-timed "bummer, man."

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Cyrus O’Merican @cyrusomerican.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

I’m going on a hunger strike until the movie Big Man on Campus gains the notoriety it deserves.

Top search result for the movie Big Man on Campus (1989)

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 23/06/2026

Josh did miss Catherine every now and then, but mostly he was pretty happy with the trade.

A couple is sharing a kiss in a dimly lit venue, while a man in the background holds a bunch of gray balloons, observing the moment.

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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 21/06/2026

women love mango (men leaving)

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Dave Cactus @davecactus.bsky.social · 21/06/2026

🎶 Last night a BJ saved my life

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lalalyds @lalalyds.bsky.social · 12/04/2026

You're allowed to be treated how you want to be treated. I, for example, would like to be treated like a large bowl of potato salad

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Cyrus O’Merican @cyrusomerican.bsky.social · 13/06/2026

My hairstyle is holding up great today, and yet…no group chat invites

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Kate @kateness.bsky.social · 11/06/2026

Gonna get a tramp stamp that says “stuff me” in the Build-A-Bear font

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Cyrus O’Merican @cyrusomerican.bsky.social · 09/06/2026

If you tried to organize a friend group of 366 people with each person having a different birthday, you’d probably end up with hundreds, if not thousands of incidental friendships with candidates whose birthday is already represented in the group and the project would be an administrative nightmare

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Cyrus O’Merican @cyrusomerican.bsky.social · 02/06/2026

We need a way to acknowledge someone’s new haircut that isn’t just telling them that they got a haircut

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 10/05/2026

don’t forget to call your mom today but wait a little while because she was still in the shower when i left

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